


The Family We Should Have Been

by MonkeyZero



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: Hurt/Comfort, M/M, and I tried that whole mating for life thing sort of, because I guess that's sort of sometimes a thing with Wolfstar, no like a lot of hurt/comfort, this is honestly the sappiest most self-indulgent thing I've ever written, you Siriusly dont understand the level of hurt/comfort
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2015-10-09
Updated: 2017-04-10
Packaged: 2018-04-25 14:42:16
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 47
Words: 71,688
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4964632
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/MonkeyZero/pseuds/MonkeyZero
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>ABANDONED</p><p>Peter is caught and Sirius is acquitted, allowing Remus and Sirius to take Harry and become the family they should have been. The three of them have twelve years of scars and loneliness and the grief of Lily and James' death still hangs over them. When Peter escapes, at least they face what comes next together and free.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> -A shameless fix-it fic, where Sirius is free  
> -I'm just going to say ahead of time, that if I end up writing this through books seven, both Remus and Sirius are definitely going to survive, but other canon deaths, and at least one non-canon death, are going to occur, so it's not a 100% fix-it fic  
> -for more information, especially if you want more detailed trigger warnings, you can totally send me an ask at http://follow-the-bvtterflies.tumblr.com/ on anon or off
> 
> -despite the fact that this is my most popular fic, I've been less involved in the HP fandom lately, and have been writing other things. I may pick this fic up later, but don't get disappointed by an unfinished fic  
> -it leaves of about midway through GoF

Remus paced outside the door for hours, wondering what could possibly be taking so long. There was no possible way they could convict Sirius now, not with Peter in custody. Of course, Remus had known from the beginning that Sirius had not been, could not have been the killer, that Peter was the secret-keeper, but what was the word of a werewolf against eye-witnesses? It had not even been enough to get Sirius a trial all those years ago. So when he had finally escaped, Remus had expected a shaggy black dog on his doorstep any day, but when Padfoot had failed to make an appearance, Remus had stayed close to Harry, sure Sirius would want—need—to protect James’ son. And he had been right, of course.

He could never have guessed Peter had survived. He had assumed Sirius had killed him in revenge for betraying James and Lily and something had gone wrong, either Sirius had lost control of his magic, or Peter had misused a blasting curse, but he had never thought Peter could still have been out there. The thought made him tremble with fury. But soon it would over. Sirius would emerge from that door, his hands un-chained, a free man, and they would be together again. So why was it taking so bloody long?

Remus’ head snapped up at the sound of a latch clicking, and the heavy oak door swung open to reveal the bone-thin, ragged form of Sirius Black.

“Cleared?” Remus asked, rushing over to is mate’s side.

“Cleared,” Sirius said in confirmation. Before Sirius had time to do or say anything else, Remus had pulled him into a tight embrace, and was holding the other man close to his chest.

“I’ve missed you so much,” He said, his voice choked with emotion. “I never doubted you.” Sirius was unable to form words, but just buried his nose into Remus’ neck, taking in the familiar scent. “Will you—would you like to stay with me?” Remus asked, a look of concern on his face when he pulled away, still holding Sirius’ face in his hands. “My place isn’t big. We could go to Grimmauld Place if you’d prefer. Or if you would rather be alone…”

“No,” Sirius said forcefully, but Remus seemed unbothered by the outburst. He looked up to Dumbledore, who was standing on the other side of the doorway, smiling down on the two men.

“Can I take him home?” Remus asked, pulling Sirius back to his body, protectively.

“Yes, you may,” Dumbledore said. With those words, Remus guided Sirius through the halls to the fireplaces where they could floo back to Remus’ cottage. The advantage of the late session was that there was nobody in the hallways to stop and stare or photograph the two of them. Sirius was still in his Azkaban rags, though the Ministry had given him a fresh pair, and allowed him a shower when they realized the trial would likely end in an embarrassing acquittal.

“This way,” Remus said softly, guiding Sirius into a grate. Sirius looked overwhelmed, and Remus could imagine that after so long on the run and the horrors of Azkaban he would need quite a bit of time to adjust back to the free world. Remus’ cottage was small: only one room that served as kitchen, dining room, sitting room, and kitchen, with a bathroom and cellar that Remus used for transformation. As it was only a few nights after a transformation, Remus was starving, so he had accepted Molly’s offer to bring a large pot of stew over, and he and Sirius, both ravenously hungry, soon finished it off and followed it with a large loaf of bread. They did not talk while they ate, as both men were focused on the task ahead of them, on the animal desire. It wasn’t until Remus had cleared the plates and sat back down at the rough wooded table that Sirius slowed down enough that Remus judged him ready for conversation.

“Do you want to talk, love?” He asked, reaching out to take Sirius’ hands.

“I want Harry to come live with us,” Sirius said immediately, not looking up from the table. “I want to be a family. I promise James that if anything happened…”

“Of course,” Remus said soothingly. He moved so he was sitting beside Sirius and holding him to keep him from becoming too agitated before saying. “I tried to keep an eye on him, and it isn’t good. His Aunt and Uncle treat him badly. I—I wanted to help him, but you know what I am, and I didn’t think I could keep him safe. Dumbledore thinks he’s safest with his mother’s blood—”

“I’m his godfather,” Sirius cried angrily.

“I know,” Remus said. “I just wanted you to know where he’s coming from. But you need to be healthy before you can take care of him. You know that.”

“I know,” Sirius admitted. He turned his head up to look at Remus full in the eyes for the first time. “Is there anyone else?” He asked.

“I told you, once I bonded to you, there can’t be,” Remus said. “Sirius, I love you. I don’t want anybody but you. Do—do you still want me?” In response, Sirius just lifted his chin up and gently pressed his lips against Remus’.

“Always,” he said, when he pulled away, repeated the promise he had made so many years ago when they were only sixteen years old, the first time he had let Remus take him. He found Remus’ hands, and rested his forehead against Remus’ before bringing their lips together again. This time it was hungrier, needier, and soon Sirius was wrapped around Remus, gripping fistfuls of hair, biting is lower lip, and kissing him with more energy than his frail frame looked capable of. “I need to feel close to you,” Sirius panted, breaking away from Remus, who was also breathing heavily. It hadn’t been long since the full moon, but Remus picked him up easily and deposited him on the bed.

“Are you sure?” Remus asked, pulling off the Azkaban robes. Sirius looked extremely frail, especially naked, his gaunt skin hanging off his bones, telling of years of starvation.

“I need you Remus,” Sirius said, catching his lover’s chin to make the eye contact. “Go slowly.” Remus followed the words with a gentle kiss, then trailed kisses from the corner of Sirius’ jaw, down his neck, to the once broad chest, that now seemed to have caved in on itself.

“You’re so skinny now,” Remus commented, looking down at the frail body beneath him.

“You’re still skinny,” Sirius pointed out. “But not as gangly.” Remus decided it was time to do away with his own clothes, his best robes, still very shabby and patched, and far too stuffy for the June heat. Sirius propped himself onto his elbows to watch his lover undress, his gaze inspecting the familiar body, aged and scarred by twelve years apart. He reached up to trace the familiar patterns of scars with his fingers, finding jagged lines of new wounds. His smile shifted into a mischievous grin when he lowered his hand to close over Remus now hard and quivering cock. Remus couldn’t help but moan. It had been so long since he had felt another person touch him in that way. He lowered himself down onto his elbow so he could draw Sirius into another kiss, and with his other hand, take both of their hard cocks and rub them together, rocking his hips back and forth in a steady rhythm. “Fuck, I forgot how good this feels,” Sirius breathed, closing his eyes.

Remus laughed, and set to kissing Sirius’ exposed neck, meanwhile building up the friction in his hand. He felt just about ready to come any second, but he could tell Sirius would need more build up. Understandable, given how much time he’d spent having his good memories and happy feeling stolen from him. Forcing himself to leave the tender flesh of his lover’s neck, Remus sat back onto his heels and lowered his mouth over Sirius’ erection, causing his lover to gasp, much the same as he had the first time Remus had done this all those years ago. “Oh Moony,” Sirius said, tangling his fingers in Remus’ hair. A hint of need was mixed in his voice, so Remus sped up, going deeper, reveling in the feeling of being full again.

“Remus,” Sirius groaned, “Fuck me now.” Smiling, Remus pulled his mouth off his lover’s cock and fumbled through his robes for his wand while Sirius rolled over onto his stomach. Hand now coated in lubrication, Remus carefully, slipped one finger into Sirius, eliciting a small murmur of pleasure. While he worked a second finger in, he leaned down to kiss the base of Sirius’ neck.

“I love you so much,” he whispered. Sirius found Remus’ other hand, and tangled their fingers together, moaning when Remus added a third finger, meanwhile rubbing his hard cock against the cleft of his buttocks.

“I’m ready,” Sirius breathed, arching his back to grant Remus easier access. When Remus pushed into him, Sirius bit down onto the pillow to keep from crying out in pleasure. He was complete again, whole, with Remus inside him. It didn’t take long before Remus found his prostate and Sirius was crying out his lover’s name with each thrust, faster each time. At some point Remus rolled them onto their side so he could stroke Sirius’ hard cock and fuck him at the same time, all the while kissing, sucking and biting his should and neck. Sirius had forgotten the bliss, how good it could feel to have another person’s hand on his nipple, stroking his hard cock, biting his shoulder, whispering into his ear.

“Sirius,” Remus panted at last, “I’m going to come.” His last thrusts were haphazard and hard, hitting Sirius at that magic place, and when Remus cried out, Sirius actual felt the surge of fluid inside him. It was enough to push him over the edge, and Sirius came moments after spilling milky liquid into Remus’ hand.

Breathing heavily, Remus pulled himself out, quickly cleaned up, then got the pair of them under the blankets. Exhausted, Sirius nestled his head into Remus’ chest. “That was brilliant,” Sirius panted. “You’re just as good as you used to be.”

“Like riding a bike then,” Remus said, laughing. Sirius joined in the laughter too, then lifted his head up to meet Remus’ lips for a soft, slow kiss.


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Sirius and Remus collect Harry and begin to get to know one another

Remus woke up to the gnawing hunger low in his belly. He opened one eye slowly and closed it again when too much sunlight streamed in. “Too early,” Sirius’ voice grunted from beside him. Finally opening his eyes, Remus saw that his mate had kicked off all the blankets during the night and was lying curled up gazing at Remus.

“You hungry?” Remus asked, pushing himself up into a sitting position.

“I’ve sort of stopped being able to tell,” Sirius said with a shrug.

Remus gave his mate a sad smile, a kiss on the forehead, and then got dressed quickly. “I think I have some eggs,” he said, inspecting the icebox. “And some sausage I think. And vegetables.”

“Anything’s good,” Sirius said. He made to pick up the Azkaban robes, but Remus flicked his wand, and sent them over to the fireplace and quickly set them ablaze before Sirius could even reach for his own wand. This was understandable, as it had been years since Sirius had had the luxury of having one, but luckily the Ministry kept prisoners’ wands, just in case they were needed.

“You’re wearing something of mine,” Remus instructed. “And I’m going to Diagon Alley today to get you something else, or muggle London. Whichever you prefer. Would you like to come along?”

“I don’t know,” Sirius said with a shrug. “I—I don’t really fancy being around all those people, but I don’t want to be away from you either.”

“I can disguise you well enough,” Remus suggested. “If we want to go to Gringotts you’ll need to reveal yourself to the goblins. I have enough in Hogwarts wages for a little while, but if we want to get another place… there isn’t exactly room for Harry in here.” Remus gave Sirius a plate of scrambled eggs and sat down next to him on the bed, ignoring his normally rather strict rules regarding food and beds. “That is, if that’s still what you want. For us to all live together.”

“If that’s what Harry wants,” Sirius said, looking a little nervous.

“Why don’t we get some better robes for you, and then head to his Aunt and Uncles’ place today,” Remus proposed. “He can move in with us once we find a good place. It shouldn’t take longer than a few days.”

“Where do you want to live?” Sirius asked.

Remus shrugged. “It’s your money,” he said.

“It’s _our_ money,” Sirius insisted. “How many times do we have to have this conversation Remus? Just because the Ministry won’t sanction a marriage doesn’t mean I don’t want to share everything with you. So what do you want?”

“Well I’ll need a cellar or something for transformations,” Remus said.

“But I’ll be there,” Sirius argued. “And you mentioned that potion. What was that?”

“Wolfsbane,” Remus said. “It makes the wolf calm. Severus brews it for me, but it’s tiring, more tiring than when you and James would transform with me. And it’s expensive. I could never have afforded it. I haven’t even been able to afford powdered silver in years.”

“What do you do when you get hurt?” Sirius asked. “Silver and dittany are the only things that will bind the wound.”

“I just have to let it heal the traditional way,” Remus said with a shrug. At the horrified look from Sirius he chuckled and said, “I’m not the one who’s been in Azkaban. It hasn’t been easy without you. I need my mate with me.”

“I’m here now,” Sirius assured him. He leaned in to kiss Remus on the cheek, then said, “Now we have to see about getting our cub.”

“First let’s get you some decent clothes,” Remus said, standing and collecting their empty plates. “And we’ll get you some nutrition potions. I don’t want to think of how malnourished you are right now.”

“And silver and dittany,” Sirius insisted. “And we’ll meet with the goblins about a nice home somewhere in the woods. I fancy somewhere near a lake.”

“That sounds nice,” Remus admitted.

“And it’s going to have a library,” Sirius decided, earning a smile of delight on Remus’ face. “And we’re going to Flourish and Blotts and you’re going to get whatever you want. And we’ll get some brooms, so we can go flying with Harry. Firebolts, I think.”

“You’ve always been a show-off, haven’t you?” Remus commented. “Now hold still so I can do the glamour.” Sirius stopped fidgeting long enough for Remus to tap him on the top of the head, and send shivers down his spine.

“How do I look?” He asked, looking for a mirror.

“Less attractive,” Remus answered. They took the floo network directly to Gringotts, eager to avoid any prying eyes, and requested a private meeting with a goblin, where Remus lifted the glamour.

“We have been expecting you master Black,” Ragnok said, withdrawing a key from a drawer. “I assume you would like to withdraw more of your gold.”

“Yes,” Sirius said. “And I am interested in purchasing a second home. Somewhere forested. Somewhere private.”

“Naturally,” Ragnok said. He withdrew a book from another drawer and flipped through several pages, showing Sirius several eligible properties suitable for wizarding uses. “Four bedrooms, three bathrooms, a large study, lake view, very secluded,” he said, flipping through photos of a stately looking house somewhere close to Hogwarts. “Connected to the floo network, obviously. Perfectly affordable, given your current funds.”

“Do you like it?” Sirius asked, turning to Remus.

“Yes,” Remus said, his throat dry. He had not always managed to keep a roof over his head these last twelve years, and now Sirius was offering him far beyond what he had ever imagined.

“I’ll take it,” Sirius decided. “Give me a paper to sign.” Ragnok produced the papers with lightning speed, and Sirius signed them, turning to smile at Remus. “Looks like we will need to do some furniture shopping,” he said.

A second goblin appeared with a bag of gold for Sirius and Ragnok asked, “Will there be anything else Master Black?”

“Can I have give a second person access to my vault?” Sirius asked.

Seeing where this was going, Remus protested, “Sirius, you can’t—”

“I’m afraid, except in the case of a legal spouse, wizarding law prevents a person from sharing their vaults,” Ragnok said, giving Remus a dirty look.

“Well then,” Sirius said, “I want you to open a new vault in the name of Remus Lupin and transfer half of my remaining funds into that vault.” Before Remus could say anything, Sirius turned back to him and said, “It was so stupid of me and James not to think of what would happen to you if we weren’t around. If something happened, I need to know you would be taken care of.”

“I—thank you,” Remus said at last. He leaned his head against Sirius’ shoulder and smiled at the scowl on Ragnok’s face, not sure if the goblin disapproved because he was a werewolf, gay, poor, or all three.

When all the papers were signed, which took significantly longer, the two men—Sirius now disguised again—made their way to Madame Malkin’s. Remus knew, and rather liked Madame Malkin, so he explained the situation, and at Sirius’ insistence, allowed her to create an entire wardrobe not only for Sirius but for Remus as well, whose clothes were admittedly falling apart. Measurements taken, they went to the apothecary while she worked on the first few sets of robes to pick up the basics of what Sirius nicknames “wolf-care.” After spending a good chunk of gold on dittany, they picked up the first set of robes, then headed to muggle London to pick up some more comfortable clothing. When forced to wear muggle clothing, Sirius had always had a bit of a punk-rocker sensibility while Remus had dressed more like a professor would be expected to—sweater vests and three-piece suits.

“Maybe you would try short sleeves,” Sirius teased as Remus buttoned up a light blue shirt.

“Scars aren’t really my summer statement Sirius,” Remus pointed out. “You’ve toned things down a bit.” Sirius had limited himself to rather plain t-shirts in slim fit pants in his typical deep jewel tones and blacks.

“Well, I am responsible for a teenager now,” Sirius pointed out. He sat down in the empty fitting room across from Remus’ breathing heavily. “I’m exhausted though.”

“Do you need to go home and rest?” Remus asked.

“Not before we get Harry,” Sirius said. “I need to see him.”

“If you say so,” Remus said. “I’m taking these. Now let’s go.”

After paying, they apparated to Privet Drive, where Sirius strode up to the front door and knocked. After a few moments they heard a shrill voice call “Who is it?” the door swung open to reveal a blonde, horsey-looking woman who immediately shrieked, then ran back into the house, shouting, “Vernon!”

“Ah,” Sirius sighed. “I forgot. I am a convicted mass murdered in the muggle world as well.”

Intrigued by the commotion, Harry peered out from his room on the top floor and his heart leaped to see his Godfather and favorite professor standing on his Aunt and Uncle’s doorstep. “Sirius!” He cried, running down the stairs. “Professor Lupin!” His hug knocked Sirius off his feet, but Lupin managed to catch his mate, and he could tell that the man didn’t really care. “What are you doing here?” Harry asked, grinning from ear to ear.

“I could ask the same question,” said a large, beefy man, appearing from behind Harry. “I’ve seen you on the news, and if you don’t give me a good reason as to why you are here I will call the po-lice!”

“Sirius has been cleared of all charges, last night,” Remus said softly. “My name is Remus Lupin. I was a friend of James and Lily. May we come in?”

“Lovely house,” Sirius said, pushing past Petunia and Vernon without waiting for an answer. He flopped onto a sofa in the living room, glancing over at Dudley, who was watching television on one of the armchairs. Remus took a seat beside Sirius, and soon Harry and the Dursleys were also seated. “As you may know,” Sirius said, “When Harry was born, James and Lily made me his godfather, which means, now that I am out of Azkaban, I am his legal guardian.”

“You want to take the boy?” Vernon Dursley asked, a look of dawning comprehension on his face.

“We understand that you and your wife may need some time to adjust to this and make arrangements,” Remus said.

“You can have him today,” Petunia said coldly without even so much as looking at Harry.

“You don’t even care who I am?” Sirius asked, incredulous. “I could be some murderer, and you’re just handing your nephew over to me?”

“Sirius, it’s fine, really,” Harry said. “I—I want to go. Can I go today?”

Remus exchanged a glance with Sirius before saying, “You would have to spend at least tonight at my place. Sirius has been staying there until he can get another place in order. It’s very small. You would have to sleep on the floor. Perhaps you would rather spend at least one more night—”

“No,” Harry repeated, “I mean, if you don’t mind, I would really appreciate it. I wouldn’t like to intrude.” he blushed, obviously feeling that he had over-stepped some sort of boundary.

“Of course you can come,” Remus said kindly. “It will only be temporary. Sirius bought a new house this morning, and we can move in there together, maybe even tomorrow.”

“You’re coming too?” Harry asked.

Thinking it best not to explain anything in front of the Dursleys, Remus just nodded and said, “We can take you there this afternoon. But why don’t we help you get packed. I don’t suppose this house is connected to the floo network?”

“Er… no,” Harry said, glancing over at the electric grate.

“Well, we can use side-along apparition then,” Remus decided, standing up. “We’ll be going to your room then.” Without a second glance at the Dursleys, the three of them went upstairs to Harry’s bedroom, which was rather messy. He had a few sketches of Hedwig taped to his wall, which Sirius picked up.

“You sketch much?” Sirius asked.

“Sometimes,” Harry said with a shrug. “I get bored locked up here over the summers. Well, last summer.”

“Locked up?” Sirius said, swiveling around, ready to storm back downstairs.

“Sirius, please,” Remus said, grabbing his mate’s wrists. “Let’s just get Harry out of here. We can worry about them later.” Sirius looked upset, but busied himself with helping throw books and sneakers into Harry’s trunk.

“It looks like we might have to get you some new clothes as well,” Remus commented, picking up a pair of Dudley’s old trousers. “These look twice your size.”

“They were Dudley’s,” Harry explained. “The Dursleys don’t really buy me my own things.”

Remus released Hedwig out the window and gave her instructions, glance over the now empty room. “Is that all?” He asked.

“Yes,” Harry said.

“You don’t want to say good-bye?” Remus asked.

“No.”

“Alright then,” Remus said. “Take my hand, and I’ll take you by side-along apparition. Sirius will follow with your trunk. It will be uncomfortable. You will feel like you’re being compressed into an incredible small space. Don’t resist that feeling, or you risk splinching yourself. Just give into it, until the journey is over. It won’t take long. It’s too far for flying, and you and Sirius are too recognizable for the Knight Bus.”

Nervously, Harry accepted Remus’ outstretched hand, and with a crack they were back outside Remus’ cottage. Only this time there was a large Grey hippogryph waiting. “Buckbeak?” Harry asked, cocking his head to one side.

With another crack, Sirius appeared behind them, and quickly approached the Hippogryph, always having liked the beasts. “I thought he was executed?” Remus asked.

“He was supposed to be,” Harry said “But, well…can you keep a secret?”

“I’m generally opposed to the murder of magical creatures, so yes,” Remus said.

“Well, Dumbledore gave Hermione the idea, but she used her time-turner to set him free. He went into the forest, and I don’t know what led him here.”

“Probably me,” Sirius said, stroking the beast’s feathers. “I used to sneak into his pasture and spend time with him. I don’t know how me managed to track me here.”

“I suppose I’ll write Hagrid a letter letting him know he’s joined the family,” Remus sighed. “Sirius I want you resting. I’m going to make lunch. Harry, you’re welcome to do whatever you please in the meantime.”

“I can help,” Harry offered, following Remus in. At Remus’ insistence, Sirius flopped down on the bed, and watched as Harry helped Remus prepare chicken sandwiches.

“Would you like a butterbeer Harry?” Remus asked, going to the icebox.

“Yes Profess—” Harry began, but cut himself off.

“You can call me Remus,” Remus said, smiling. “I’m not your teacher anymore, and we will be living together.”

“Alright, Remus,” Harry said.

“When you were a baby you had just gotten the hang of saying ‘Moony’,” Sirius said.

“I knew you when I was a baby?” Harry asked, thunderstruck. “You never mentioned that.”

“It—it seemed inappropriate, as your teacher,” Remus said, glaring at Sirius. He looked at his feet awkwardly for a while before saying. “After your parents died, I wanted to raise you as my own, but I couldn’t. It wasn’t about the law—I didn’t care about that. I wouldn’t have been able to keep you safe, not given what I am. I wouldn’t have been able to feed you or give you somewhere to sleep, and I had to let you stay with those horrible people. I can’t help but feel that I failed you Harry.”

“No,” Harry said, shocked by what his former professor was saying. “No, it’s not like that at all. It’s really nice of you to take me in now. Besides, Dumbledore thinks I was safest with the Dursleys anyways.”

“Yes, well, he’s not exactly happy we decided to take you,” Sirius said, laughing. “But, as I am now your legal guardian, it’s my decision. But, you should know that, even though Remus isn’t legally your guardian, your parents always intended for him to be just as much of a parent to you as I would be.”

“I understand,” Harry said.

“Well, let’s eat,” Remus proposed, picking up the plate of sandwiches. “I for one, and starving.”

“Yes, I’m sure you have a wolfish appetite,” Sirius teased, earning himself a glare.

“Well Harry,” Sirius said, taking his seat. “I will probably be delegating the task of furniture shopping to Remus, but is there anything you want in your new home? You can have first pick for your bedroom.”

“Oh, anything’s got to be better than the cupboard under the stairs,” Harry joked. Remus stopped, sandwich halfway to his mouth. Something told him this wasn’t good.

“Explain.” Sirius commanded.

“Oh,” Harry said, realizing what he had let slip. “It’s really not a big deal. Until I was eleven, I didn’t have a bedroom. I used to sleep in the cupboard under the stairs at my Aunt and Uncle’s. It wasn’t bad, just small.”

Sirius swore loudly, earning himself a scolding from Remus. “Please tell me that’s the worst of it,” Sirius said.

“Not exactly,” Harry admitted. “They sort of took away meals when they were mad at me, and tried to stamp the magic out of me by never telling me I was a wizard or about mum and dad, and by trying to burn all my Hogwarts letters, though Dumbledore sent about a thousand, which was pretty funny.”

“They never told you about Lily and James?” Remus asked, the strain in his voice echoing the look on Sirius’ face.

“No,” Harry said. “I know that I look like my Dad, but I have my mother’s eyes, that they were head boy and girl, that my dad played chaser and that he got into a lot of trouble with you, Sirius.”

Sirius chuckled a little and shrugged. “Yeah,” he said, nodding. “The memories, they’re a bit fuzzy still. But, there’s the time he charmed McGonagall’s chalk to spell rude words during a lecture.” Harry laughed heartily at this.

“That was pretty good,” Remus agreed. “He also set the Slytherin tapestries on fire when they won the house championship once.”

“Only after he tried smashing their hourglass,” Sirius put in.

“And my mum?” Harry asked.

“She liked to sketch,” Remus said, smiling.

“Oh,” Harry said, feeling warm inside.

“Remus was closer to her than I ever was,” Sirius said. “She liked him long before she ever liked James or I. Seemed to think we were arrogant tossers.”

“They grew out of it,” Remus said, the corners of his mouth twitching slightly. “Lily was headstrong. Brilliant, and never afraid to show it, but also willing to help anyone who asked for it. I’m a half-blood, so we understood a lot of the same muggle things. She liked music too. She could play the guitar, and sing. She used to sing to you all the time to help you go to sleep.” Remus paused, seeing Harry was almost on the verge of tears. It had to be a lot to take in at once, so Remus and Sirius just finished their meal in silence, allowing Harry to collect himself.

“Perhaps we should look at the house,” Sirius suggested once they had all finished eating.

“Sure,” Harry said. “Can we use floo though?”

“Didn’t appreciate apparition?” Sirius asked, grinning at Remus when Harry shook his head emphatically.

“Now speak clearly,” Remus instructed. “Hagrid told me a certain story of you ending up in Nocturn Alley, and I don’t know who our neighbors are going to be.”

“Black Manor,” Sirius said, throwing powder into the grate.

“No subtlety,” Remus muttered, rolling his eyes, then watched as Harry followed. When he stepped out of the fireplace into Sirius new home— _his_ new home—Remus felt his breath taken away. There was a larger foyer with a view of the lake lake, a dining room and kitchen on one side, living room, library and study on the other. He could already imagine the furniture, though the rooms were bare.

“You like it?” Sirius asked, sneaking up behind him and wrapping his arms around his waist.

“It’s prettier than the pictures,” Remus admitted. To be quite honest, he preferred simpler, smaller things, but Sirius had always had a preference for grand impressive things, and Remus couldn’t complain.

“Harry’s upstairs,” Sirius said, nestling his face into Remus’ neck.

“We should join him then,” Remus commented.

“I wish we could have our own room tonight,” Sirius whispered.

“We still have to explain that to him,” Remus pointed out. “I don’t know his views on the matter. I don’t imagine his upbringing was especially liberal, but he didn’t mind me being a werewolf much.”

Leaving one last kiss on Remus’ neck, Sirius hurried up the stairs to find Harry inspecting the bedrooms. “Find one you like?” Sirius asked.

“This one,” Harry decided, looking out the window. “It has a view of the lake. Which one do you like?”

“Oh, I think that one,” Sirius said, waving vaguely to the room across the hall.

“And you?” Harry asked, turning to Remus.

“Actually,” Remus said, exchanging a glance with Sirius, “Sirius and I will be sharing a bedroom.”

“What—oh,” Harry said, comprehension dawning. “So you aren’t just friends then.”

“No, we aren’t just friends,” Sirius said, pleased that Harry had taken everything so well.

“Well,” Harry said, smirking. “That certainly explains what happened to your neck.” Harry walked by the two men, both of whom looked mortified, as Remus brushed away Sirius’ long hair to reveal a series of love bites and hickeys that he had been sure would not be noticeable.

“Oops,” Sirius said. “We’ll have to get used to the fact we aren’t twenty-one anymore.” Laughing, Remus took Sirius by the waist and led him back downstairs to meet Harry and head back to Remus’ cottage.

 

Harry and Remus spent the afternoon shopping for furniture, food and clothes while Sirius caught up on sleep. “If you would rather be doing something else than helping me choose a dining room table, I would certainly understand,” Remus commented, leading Harry down the streets of muggle London. “I haven’t done this myself in years, and I certainly wasn’t coming to stores this nice. Not since—well, since I was helping your mother actually. James hated that sort of thing, and she seemed to think that being gay meant I would have some sort of good taste in such matters.”

“Do you?” Harry asked, laughing.

“You’ve seen where I live,” Remus answered. “You can be the judge of my taste once we have everything moved in. Though I will of course value your opinion.”

“To be honest, I don’t know what I like,” Harry admitted. “At the Dursleys it was all miserable. The summer I spent with Ron was brilliant, and the time I spent in Diagon Alley too. But I’ve never had anywhere to call home that I actually liked. Hogwarts has always been home for me.”

“Well, we’ll see if we can fix that,” Remus said, smiling down at Harry. “And you’re welcome to invite your friends over whenever you like. Unless you find Sirius and I too embarrassing, that is.”

“No, he’s my escaped convict godfather and you’re my werewolf ex-teacher, that’s about as cool as it gets,” Harry joked.

Remus chuckled, then changed into a serious tone and said, “You know, I never had friends until Hogwarts. My parents did everything they could to make me happy, but because of my condition, I could never have friends my age, not until Sirius and your father, and Peter. Hogwarts was the first place I was truly happy as well. It was the same for Sirius as well. His family… they weren’t kind people. Perhaps this could be a second chance for the three of us. It means a lot to us to have you living with us.”

“It means a lot to me too,” Harry admitted.

 

After dinner Harry wrote letters to Ron and Hermione while Remus washed up and Sirius excused himself to go take a bath. “Good thing too,” Remus called after him. “Smelling like a dog is only charming when you’re actually a dog.”

“I know you find it endearing,” Sirius said as he disappeared into the bathroom. Once Sirius was well out of earshot, Remus did allow himself a chuckle, then pulled a bar of very dark, very expensive chocolate out of a shopping bag. Eating his dessert, he leaned up against the counter, and watched Harry write his letter. He wore that same look of ardent concentration Lily always wore when she was focused on something, but every once in a while, his hand would sneak up and mess up his hair, just the way James used to. He also chewed on his quills, something Sirius used to do, much to Remus’ constant frustration. He couldn’t count how many quills he had gotten back all slobbery, but he couldn’t deny he found it just a little bit endearing.

Remus was soon roused from his thoughts however, by a loud _thump,_ and the sound of Sirius crying out in surprise. Dropping his chocolate bar, Remus rushed over to the bathroom, where he found Sirius lying on the floor, rubbing the back of his head and breathing heavily. “Did you slip?” Remus asked, kneeling beside his mate, who was a little shaky. He pulled out his wand and quickly healed the bruise, but figured Sirius’ bigger problem was simply exhaustion.

“I’m okay,” Sirius insisted. “Just lost my balance.”

“I’m going to stay with you,” Remus decided, helping Sirius into the mostly full tub of water. Sirius had always liked baths absurdly hot with far too many bubbles.

“I hate having you see me this way,” Sirius murmured, crossing his arms over his chest and avoiding eye contact.

Remus actually laughed at that. At a glare from Sirius, he said, “You do realize what physical condition I’m going to be in in about three weeks. We take care of each other Sirius.” Remus reached for the bottle of shampoo and scrubbed Sirius’ hair, the way he would for a small child. Granted, in a lot of ways, Sirius still was. “Why didn’t you come back to me?” Remus asked when Sirius re-emerged, the soap washed from his hair.

“What do you mean?” Sirius asked.

“After you escaped?” Remus asked. “You didn’t write to me, or see me, or _anything._ Even when I knew you were on the school grounds, I could smell you that night in the boys’ dormitory, but you never came to me. I didn’t know what you wanted, what you were looking for. I could have helped you with Peter. We could have looked for him on the map.”

“I thought you would believe I had betrayed them,” Sirius admitted. “That you would hate me, and hand me over to the Dementors. I couldn’t bear it to know that you hated me Remus.”

“No, I could never hate you Sirius,” Remus insisted. “I knew you never would have betrayed James, _never._ I knew you were worried about being the secret keeper, and the switch only made sense, but Dumbledore never believed me—nobody ever believed me. But I never doubted you, and I’ve been waiting until we could be together again.”

“I should have told you we switched,” Sirius said, his voice barely audible. His shoulders sagged forward and Remus leaned in to catch him so that he could sob into Remus’ neck. “Peter made me promise,” Sirius sobbed. “He didn’t want anybody to know, in case you got captured, so they couldn’t torture it out of you. I should have seen he was planning on betraying them. It was so _stupid_ of me.”

“It’s okay,” Remus said, pulling him into an awkward hug, both of his arms now soaking wet, but he didn’t care. “He’s in Azkaban now, and you’re free. You’re here, with me and Harry.”

“But Lily and James…” Sirius cried.

“Their son is safe,” Remus insisted, cupping Sirius’ face in his hands and brushing away tears with his thumbs. “And he’s our responsibility now. What happened to Lily and James is not your fault.” Sirius shook his head, but Remus took him by the chin, and kissed him, once on each eye, then on his lips.

“What did I do to deserve you?” Sirius asked, when Remus sat back down on the bathroom floor.

“I believe you learned how to transform into a dog,” Remus said with a laugh. “And then agreed to a lifelong commitment to a poor half-blood queer werewolf.”

“I suppose I did do that,” Sirius mused. “Shame my mother never found out. I’d love to see what she would have done if I tried to add you to the family tree.”

“She’d probably destroy the whole house trying to destroy my name,” Remus said with a shrug. “At least, if the one time I met her is anything to go by, and she didn’t even know about the werewolf part, or the mating for life bit.”

“Hm, good riddance, though,” Sirius said with a shrug. “What should we do with that house?”

“Could come in handy,” Remus said. “You never know what could happen.”


	3. Chapter 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Sirius has a nightmare, which brings of conversations of the past; Sirius and Remus reveal their relationship to Harry; all three move into their new home together; Remus and Sirius relive some old memories

Remus was woken in the middle of the night to the movement of Sirius thrashing back and forth in bed beside him. “Wake up,” Sirius muttered, his arms, swinging out violently. “Wake up James, wake up.”

Realizing what Sirius was re-living, Remus, tried to push his mate’s arms out of the way to wake him, but one of Sirius’ flying fists connected with his jaw and sent him flying backwards onto the mattress. Sirius had rolled away from him and, still in the throes of a nightmare, cried out, “Get up, Lily, James, get up. You can’t be dead, get up!”

“Sirius, Wake up!” Remus cried, reaching out to shake Sirius awake. Harry was sitting up now, white as a ghost, now hearing what his godfather was screaming.

“It’s my fault,” Sirius said as soon as he woke up, rolling over to see Remus shaking him awake. “Remus, they’re dead because of me.”

“Sirius, it’s not your fault,” Remus insisted, glancing over at Harry. Harry should not be hearing this, should never have heard what Sirius had called out in his sleep. “Sirius, let’s go outside. Let’s get you calmed down, okay?”

Sirius followed his gaze, and seemed to understand what he had done “Harry—” he began to say.

“It’s okay,” Harry said. “I’ve seen things when Dementors get close. I can’t imagine, if I was around them all the time.”

“Harry, we can talk about this after, I promise,” Remus said, not taking his arms from around Sirius’ shoulders. He knew his mate well enough that if he left him now Sirius could be in a full-scale melt-down, and that wouldn’t do anybody any favors. “I need to calm Sirius down, then we can talk, if you need to. You can ask me whatever you like.”

“I’m okay,” Harry said, though he was clearly lying. Judging it could wait at least an hour, Remus led Sirius outside until they were out of earshot of the cottage. A greyish tinge was filtering into the sky, heralding the imminent dawn, and maybe it was just Remus’ imagination, but he felt a little warmer at the sight of it.

“I killed them,” Sirius cried. “They’re dead because of me. If I’d just been the secret keeper like Dumbledore told me to be, then they’d still be alive, but I thought I’d be clever, but I went and fucked it all up, and now they’re dead, Remus. Lily and James are dead.”

He was practically shouting, but Remus didn’t let go of him, just kept stroking his hair and wiping away tears. “It’s going to be okay,” Remus assured him, rocking back and forth gently. “It’s Peter’s fault, not yours.”

“I should have seen it,” Sirius insisted, calmer. “I should never have trusted him. I thought—I thought he was too stupid too in love with James to betray him. You know how he was: he worshipped the ground James worked on.” Sirius’ voice was almost pleading, begging Remus to agree, confirm that there was no way Sirius could have known.

“Until James married Lily and had Harry, and then he didn’t have time for Peter anymore,” Remus sighed. “And we were too busy with each other to bother with him to notice. He was jealous. He worshipped James, and James didn’t give him anything in return. I didn’t notice either, not until it was too late. You know how it was. I was so wrapped up in the war, and going underground with werewolves I didn’t have time for Peter. I just always assumed he’d be there, in the background where he’d always been.”

“You were always the one who made him appreciated,” Sirius said, kicking a pebble. “When you were with the werewolves, there was nobody to make him feel included. It makes sense that’s when he started informing. That’s probably why James thought it was…” Sirius cut himself off.

“James thought it was me?” Remus asked, his voice dripping with pain.

“No, Remus, it wasn’t like that,” Sirius said hastily. “I told him it had to be a coincidence, and most of the time, he thought so too, it was just, some days, he just considered it. We were all paranoid sometimes.”

“Peter wasn’t the one who made you swear not to tell,” Remus stated. It wasn’t a question. Sirius would have broken a promise he made to Peter, at least in confidence with Remus. He would not break a promise he had made to James.

“I never doubted you,” Sirius swore, and Remus believed him. “Never once. Not until Azkaban, then I didn’t know what I believed anymore, but once I saw you again, then I remembered it right again, and I always knew I could trust you.” Sirius twisted his fingers into Remus’.

For a moment, Remus wanted desperately to say, “you should have told me,” but instead he held Sirius close to him and whispered in his ear, “I forgive you. For everything.” Sirius trembled with grief, then went limp against Remus, exhausted. “Can you go back to sleep?” Remus asked, and Sirius nodded. Remus guided his mate back inside, tucked him into bed and kissed him on the forehead.

Turning back to the patch of floor where Harry had set up his make-shift bed, Remus saw the teenager pretending to sleep. He set about making tea and poured two cups, the sun now beginning to rise red and orange on the eastern horizon. “Harry,” he whispered, crouching beside the boy. “I’ve made tea, when you’re ready.” After a few minutes, Harry got up and joined him at the table, blowing into the steaming cup of tea. “I’m sorry for what you heard,” Remus said. “If we’d have had more space, we’d have had Sirius in a different room.”

“I never thought that he would have actually seen them,” Harry said, staring down at the curls of steam. “I—I think I need to know what happened, what led up to that night. I don’t know what you can tell me, but I just need to know more. I don’t understand why they had to die.”

“I don’t fully understand either,” Remus admitted. “Dumbledore wouldn’t want me to tell you all of this, but I know what it’s like, to need to know. After school you parents and Peter and Sirius and I all joined the Order. It’s a secret society Dumbledore started, and you mustn’t tell anybody about it. We put all of our efforts into fighting Voldemort. Your mother trained as a healer, but your father dedicated his life to the order full time, and Voldemort wanted him badly.  When your mother was pregnant, something changed, and none of us know why. Maybe he was tired of your father defying him, maybe he wanted to crack-down on inter-marriages, we don’t know, but he wanted to kill your parents. It became an obsession for him. We were all targets, but soon your parents were target number one.

“Anyways, we hid you well enough until you were about four or five months old. At the time I was undercover living with werewolves. I was spending some time at home with Sirius, but mostly I was out of the loop, so I don’t know entirely what happened, but Death Eaters started getting information about your family’s whereabouts. Wherever you went, they found you. Even when we hid you from the Ministry, whatever we did, they found you. We knew it had to be somebody close, somebody in the Order. We could only hope it was under the influence of an Imperious or a confundus curse, but it made us doubt everything and everyone.

“Eventually Dumbledore proposed the Fidelius Charm. It’s risky, putting all your precautions into one person, as we all found out, but we agreed Sirius could we trusted. At the last moment, the Death Eaters all seemed to know a Fidelius would be placed, and while Sirius knew he’d never give James’ location away, nobody can guarantee they’ll last under torture indefinitely, and he…” Remus paused and looked down at his lap before saying, “He was worried they’d take me. He won’t say it, but he didn’t know if he could… if he could keep the secret if they did that, if they were torturing me. In the end, he thought, if we switched to Peter, they’d never guess, so when they captured Sirius, even if he broke, even if they captured me, he couldn’t lead them to you. You would be safe. He really thought he was doing what was best, Harry.”

Remus looked up at the teenage boy sitting across from him, not meeting his eyes, just studying the table. Harry couldn’t help but think about how these two men, who he hardly knew, had already risked so much, sacrificed everything for the chance of giving him a better life. “I don’t know if that’s what you wanted to know,” Remus said softly. “I’m sure it isn’t enough. It isn’t enough for me either, and I miss them every day.”

“How do I miss people I never even knew?” Harry asked, finally looking up to meet Remus’ eyes with his, those green eyes that were so much like Lily’s.

“I—I gave some of my pictures to Hagrid, but I have some still,” Remus said, standing up. “Would you like to see some? They aren’t as nice as the wedding photos, not the sort you put in albums, but if you wanted to have a look—”

“I’d like that,” Harry said, and Remus shot across the room and pulled a shoebox out from under the bed, on which Sirius was still passed out, snoring softly.

“Sleep of the dead, that one. Doesn’t wake up unless I’m screaming at him,” Remus said, jerking his head slightly in Sirius’ direction. He set the box down and took off the lid, revealing a mess of well-worn photos that had evidence of being looked through quite often. Several of them had one end torn off, or a section cut out and taped back together, presumably where Peter had been removed. “I’m afraid, a lot of these are just me and Sirius,” Remus said, quickly tossing through a few of them.

“I want to see what you looked like in Hogwarts,” Harry protested, snatching at a photograph. Sirius was carelessly handsome, hair messy and shaggy his tie too loose, shirt untucked, the top button un-done, leaning casually against a wall. Standing next to him and looking into his eyes was Remus, uniform second hand and fraying, but with every effort at tidiness, his hair shoulder-length hair tucked neatly behind his ears to hide the scars on his neck. “You were dating then,” Harry stated, not really needing to be told, based on the way Sirius and Remus were looking at one another.

“Yes,” Remus answered. “And here are your parents.” He laid out a series of photos before Harry: Lily barefoot on the edge of the Black lake, not much older than Harry, waving back at the camera; James in his quidditch jersey, winking as he zoomed by on a broom; The three boys (with a torn edge that no doubt had once been Peter) outside a massive snow castle that closely resembled Hogwarts; Lily playing the guitar in the common room, her red hair draping over her face; James dropping something into a potion only to have it hiss and explode into his face; Sirius and James arm-in-arm, clutching butterbeers during some sort of party; Lily and James holding hands in a hallway and looking back over their shoulders, smiling; James, Sirius, Lily, and Remus in Hogwarts graduation robes, while James leans in and plants a kiss on Lily’s cheek; James on one knee in front of the Black lake; the pair of them, Lily now with a diamond on one finger, at a pub, holding pints…

Hands shaking, Harry dropped the photos and looked up at Remus, who was smiling weakly at him. “How do you feel?” Remus asked.

“I don’t know,” Harry admitted. “I think… Can I keep some of these?”

“Take all you like,” Remus offered. “I’ll make breakfast. Once Sirius gets up we can start moving in. We can spend tomorrow night at the other house.” He was more eager than before to have Sirius and Harry in separate rooms where he could better handle any situation that arose.

 

Surveying the sheer amount of furniture collected in the entryway and driveway, Sirius let out a long, low whistle. “You wanted a large house,” Remus said with a shrug. “How’s your magic?”

“It’s—I haven’t really used it,” Sirius admitted.

“No time like the present,” Remus said.

Giving Harry an embarrassed look, Sirius flicked his wand at an armchair and said _wingardium leviosa_. The chair flopped over onto its side and skidded about twenty feet before making some sort of jump. Sirius turned back to Remus, a look of alarm on his face.

“Er, maybe we’ll practice on something else,” Remus said. “I’ll deal with the heavy stuff. You and Harry get the lighter things in manually. There are loads of books.” Turning to Harry, he instructed, “Don’t let him lift anything very heavy.” He did his best at his intimidating stares, which he had gotten rather good at in his year at Hogwarts, and, just for good measure, when he passed by Sirius he whispered in his ear, “no sex for a week if you over-exert yourself.”

All told, it took Remus well into the afternoon to place all of their new belongings, which was probably more than he had ever owned cumulatively in his whole life. Apart from the incident where Sirius tried to magically arrange the books in alphabetical order and sent them flying into his and Harry’s face, the move was uneventful, and once settled the three of them collapsed into chairs by the edge of the lake and each opened a celebratory bottle of butterbeer. Sirius amused the other two by levitating small stones and trying to skip them, getting better with each attempt as the feelings came back slowly.

“I think transforming helps,” he said. “It’s not like magic with a wand, but there’s still that connection, at least. Something to keep me going all those years, so I didn’t completely lose things. So, it’s a good thing you’re a werewolf, really.”

“You should tell my past employers,” Remus hummed. “And all the angry Hogwarts parents.”

“I hope we don’t get somebody lousy again,” Harry said, tossing a stone into the lake. “You were the first decent teacher we’ve had. Though, I don’t suppose it can get worse than Lockhart.”

“Gilderoy Lockhart taught at Hogwarts?” Sirius asked, an amused look on his face. “The Ravenclaw boy a few years above us at school, who wrote all those books. I never liked him.”

“No,” Remus said. “You kept practicing permanent sticking charms by putting gum in his hair if I remember correctly.”

“Yeah,” Sirius said, smiling appreciatively. “And it took him a while to notice too. Granted, I only did it because Remus fancied him.”

“I did not,” Remus said defensively. “He just had nice hair is all. Perfectly horrible personality. I never understood why so many witches managed to overlook his sleaziness, but I do admit to being rather taken with the hair when I was fifteen.”

“Yeah, well, I fixed that,” Sirius growled, running a hand through his very unruly hair, and Harry laughed. “Lockhart’s locks aside,” Sirius said, “I was thinking, we should celebrate. You know, me getting out, us being all together, the house, all of it.”

“You want a party?” Remus asked, turning to raise his eyebrows at Sirius.

Sirius grinned. “You know how I feel about parties.”

Remus groaned. “You know how _I_ feel about parties. But I suppose given you are the one who spent twelve years in prison I’ll see what we can manage.

 

At the end of the day, Remus got up to the bedroom to see Sirius sitting on the floor with the box of photos open, its contents scattered about the carpet. “What are you doing?” Remus asked, sitting beside the box, which Sirius was digging through, tossing photos out of, making piles in come sort of frantic logic. “Sirius,” Remus said, reaching out to capture his mate’s chin and force him to look up at him. There were tears in the corners of his eyes. “What’s wrong?”

“I—I don’t remember…most of the pictures, I don’t remember,” Sirius admitted, dropping the photographs with shaking hands.

“Sirius,” Remus Sighed, drawing him into a hug. “It’s okay,” He murmured soothingly. “You’ll remember. I’ll help you remember.”

“They took them from me,” Sirius sobbed into his lover’s neck, tears streaming down Remus’ shoulder. “They took my own memories. I don’t even remember the first time we kissed.”

“You don’t—” Remus broke off, feeling physically hurt by that fact.

“They sort of trickle in,” Sirius explained. “And sometimes the random ones will just hit me, when you look at me a certain way, I’ll remember something, something random you said or id from when we were kids, and it might not matter that much. It’s the same with Harry, but it might be something about James, or about Lily. But there are still gaps—spaces of things that I should remember, but can’t.”

Do you want me to tell you about it?” Remus asked. “About the first time We kissed?” At a nod from Sirius, he said, in a shaky voice, “It fifth year, in autumn, and I was pissed off at James because he wouldn’t stop going on about Lily…

_“What are you doing out here?” Remus didn’t look up when he heard the crunch of Sirius’ boots on dry leaves, and just kept throwing rocks at the tree across from him._

_“The woods are where I go to think,” he said when Sirius settled next the him._

_“Do you need to be alone to think?” Sirius asked._

_Remus glanced at Sirius, looking up and down at him, then decided he could use the company. Sirius did make him feel better after all, even if it made things… complicated. “No.”_

_“Good,” Sirius said, nestling into Remus’ shoulder. “Because I’m cold. Now tell me what’s got you all hot and bothered.”_

_Remus sighed and reached out to sling an arm around Sirius shoulder than said, “It’s not important really, it’s just, it bothers me sometimes, hearing me talk about Lily all the time.”_

_“Tell me about it,” Sirius grumbled. “Gets boring.”_

_“Not like that,” Remus said. “Its more complicated for me. I told you that werewolves, that we can’t… that we mate for life.”_

_“Uh, yeah,” Sirius said._

_“So once I want to be with somebody, I have to be really sure of it,” Remus said. “Because if they change their mind, then I wouldn’t be able to have anybody else, ever again. And that’s just terrifying. And that’s assuming I can even find somebody who wants me in the first place, and who would want me, knowing what I am? Once they found out, once they knew…”_

_“But that wouldn’t happen,” Sirius argued. “Because once some girl had you there’d be no way she’d let you go. Because if she did, she’d be a total idiot, and James and I would keep you from bonding to a complete airhead, even if she was super hot.”_

_Remus laughed a little, and looked down at his feet. “And if it wasn’t a girl necessarily?”_

_“Oh,” Sirius said. “Oh, well that’s good too. It’s just…” Remus looked up at him sharply, wondering if his best friend was about to reject him. But that didn’t fit, not with Sirius who hadn’t blinked an eye when he had learned his best friend was a werewolf, who had almost gotten the hang of tuning into a dog to make to monthly transformations easier. No, the blush on his cheeks didn’t look like that of someone about to shout at their friend. Actually, the way he inched his fingers towards Remus’ just slightly, the way his breath caught in his throat implied something else entirely. “It’s just if you were thinking about going out with a boy, then maybe you could consider somebody you already know, somebody who already knows you, and what you are.”_

_“Sirius…” Remus said. “You can’t throw your life away for me. I don’t have anything to give you but pain. I know, maybe you’re having a laugh or maybe you’re trying to cheer me up, but you know it would never work. I mean just look at you. You’re whole, and popular, and gorgeous, and you have every opportunity, and then there’s me. I’m—I’m a monster. I’m scarred and awkward and poor and I still wake up with nightmares. I’m nothing.”_

_“No,” Sirius protested, gripping Remus by the shoulders. “You don’t say that about somebody I love. Remus, you’re my best friend, who I can talk to about my family, who makes me smile, even when I don’t want to get out of bed for days, who knows when I need to be held and when I need to scream and when I need to cry. You get me Moony, and I love you, and I’m going to make you believe it.”_

_“You’re lying to me,” Remus sobbed, refusing to look at his friend. This was all some cruel joke. Sirius had read his diary or something and was teasing him for his stupid, pathetic crush. “Stop it Sirius. Stop it please.”_

_“Remus, I love you,” Sirius took hold of his chin and pulled it over so Remus couldn’t help but stare into his friend’s stormy grey eyes. “I don’t expect you to bind yourself to me right now or anything, I’m just saying, maybe we could give it a chance, please. I know I screwed a lot of things up last year, but please, can we just try?”_

_“What if we screw everything up?” Remus asked. “What if it ruins the Marauders and we can’t be friends anymore because we dated.?”_

_“Well, it’ll be my fault then,” Sirius reasoned. “Now, if I kiss you, will you be stuck with me for the rest of your life?” Wiping his eyes with the back of his hand, Remus shook his head. “Good,” Sirius said, leaning in until his lips were almost brushing against Remus’. “I think that means you’re out of excuses.” He saw Remus’ lips twitch ever so slightly into a smile before their lips were pressed together, and_ Merlin _, it was good. He brought his fingers up to brush against Remus’ cheek and felt the other boy’s lips open against his, pushing his own lips apart. Feeling both clueless and at the same time like he knew exactly what he wanted, Sirius brought his tongue forward to probe into Remus’ mouth, only to be met by Remus’ tongue instead. Rising onto his knees, Remus had grasped onto Sirius  neck and was kissing him hungrily._

_When he re-surfaced to air, Remus smirked at his now-boyfriend, whose mouth was hanging slightly open in surprise and said, “You didn’t think you were going to be the dominant one did you?”_


	4. Chapter 4

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Sirius has a welcome home party

Sirius ended up inviting most of the former Order of the Phoenix, Andromeda and her family, and Harry’s friends from school about a week after they settled in. Mrs. Weasley came over early to assist Remus with the cooking, though he and Sirius were actually quite good in the kitchen. Ron and Hermione came in early and disappeared into Harry’s room, though the boys did have a bit of a job pulling Hermione away from the small library Remus had managed to collect. As the night wore on, Hagrid arrived, bringing the motorbike with him, much to Sirius’ delight, followed shortly by Mr. Weasley, Dedalus Diggle, Sturgis Podmore, Emmeline Vance, and Mundungus Fletcher.

“Harry,” Remus called from the bottom of the stairs, looking up to see the teenage boy’s head sticking out from his bedroom door. “Neville’s here.”

“Oh, send him up then,” Harry said.

“So nice of you to come,” Remus said, turning back to Augusta. Once Neville had disappeared behind the door, Remus asked “Frank and Alice still well?”

“As well as usual,” Augusta sighed. “It’s hard on him though. He still won’t tell his schoolmates. Hides it.”

“He’s more able than he thinks he is,” Remus said, thinking back to the self-conscious boy he had taught for a year. “If he could only believe in himself…”

“Moony!” Sirius called from the kitchen. “Alastor’s here! Have you seen his eye? It’s mad! And he’s brought a cousin of mine, and she’s not a Slytherin either.”

“Sounds promising,” Remus said with a shrug. He returned to Sirius, who was conversing with a girl with bubblegum pink hair, and Mad-Eye Moody.

“This is Tonks, she’s a metamorphmagus” Sirius said, eagerly making the introduction. “And this is Remus. He’s a werewolf”

“Pleasure,” Remus said, shaking her hand. “Really subtle Sirius.”

“Not a trait you ever valued,” Moody growled. “Though I still think you were a damned good recruit. Would still be a damn good one, and Scrimgeour would let you back in. The department’s small.”

“Yeah, it’s just me and Kingsley and Scrimgeour right now,” Tonks complained. “Though most of what we did was try and find you to be honest.”

“Yes, I had a shadow everywhere I went,” Remus said, smiling at Tonks. “She looked different every time. Same scent though. Good to keep in mind next time you follow a werewolf.”

“Oh—I…” Tonks stammered, whole Sirius and Moody laughed at her expense.

“I was your main lead and you were doing your job,” Remus answered. “It isn’t your fault that Scrimgeour doesn’t think he has anything to learn from werewolves.”

“I’m sure he never mentioned the fact that Moony also saved his ass from Death Eaters on multiple occasions,” Sirius said. “That always managed to really piss him off.”

“Dinner!” Molly announced, pulling a roast out of the oven.

“I’ll get the kids,” Mundungus offered, slinking off in the direction of the staircase.

“Dung, if you’re off to sell my godson drugs I will personally rip you to shreds,” Sirius called, running after his less than reputable friend. “Especially if you over-charge him like you did to me and James.”

“Why Magical Law Enforcement hasn’t gotten him put away by no is far beyond me,” Moody said, shaking his head at Mundungus. Remus shrugged. He rather liked Mundungus, not the least because he had stayed on Mundungus’ couch when in need of somewhere to live and unable to play rent, something he had never felt comfortable doing with other members of the Order. None of them had listened when he had told them Sirius was innocent, none of them had tried to get him a trial—they had just told him he was in shock. Mundungus had gotten him drunk and told him he didn’t know what to believe either. He would never go so far as to call Mundungus a good friend, and would never leave Harry alone with him. His drugs had always been shite, after all.

When Sirius returned with the kids, they enjoyed the meal, which was pleasant, and all of the foods, Sirius enjoyed. He came alive surrounded by people, passing dishes, commenting on Hagrid’s moleskin over coat, or explaining gearshifts to Arthur. Sirius was raised in a prison, after all, and if it stuck anybody as odd that he could recover so quickly from his ordeal, seem so normal so shortly after, what they didn’t know is that, he, more than anybody, knew how to be free.

Later that night, when all the guests had filed out, Remus and Sirius took a bath together, relaxing into the steam and calming scent of lavender. Though Sirius had managed to put on some weight and gain some strength, he was still weak, and by the end of the day he was exhausted. Remus rubbed tension from his thin, bony shoulders as he felt his lover relax against his chest. “Did you enjoy your party?” Remus asked.

“Yeah,” Sirius sighed. “I just can’t help but think how many people weren’t there. How many people we lost. Not just Lily and James, but Caradoc and Benjy Fenwick and Dorcas and Marlene and Frank and Alice…”

“I know,” Remus murmured. For him, these were old wounds, not forgotten, but long healed over, but for Sirius, they had been torn open every day, with no time to grieve his losses. Remus leaned in to kiss him gently at the base of his neck and said, “We’re together now, like we were meant to be.”

Sirius made a mumbling sort of noise and leaned his head back to rest on Remus’ shoulder, giving his mate better access to his neck. A low growl starting in his throat, Remus reached one hand forward to stroke Sirius’ thigh, ten lifted it up to rub circles on his hip. Sirius’ hand lifted to meet his and guided it lower, bring his finger to close on a hard, throbbing erection. “Is this what you want?” Remus whispered, pumping his hand up and down.

“This is what I want,” Sirius said, rubbing the cleft of his arse up against Remus’ hard cock. “I want you in me.” Remus moved his hand up so he was clutching Sirius’ chest close to his and used his other hand to stretch open the ring of muscles slightly, fully enjoying the groans escaping from Sirius’ lips as he pushed each finger in. “Fuck me,” Sirius moaned, rolling his head forward and lifting his hips so Remus could enter him. He rose onto his knees and rode his lover, leaning his head back to catch Remus’ lips with his. He arched back, grinding against Remus’ cock, reaching up to grab his hair and increase the friction between their bodies while Remus stroked his mate’s cock with his free hand.

“You’re so fucking hot,” Remus growled in Sirius ear before biting down on the cartilage. Gasping, Sirius came, hot and fast into Remus hand, spent. Remus finished up, thrusting into his lover a few more times, then collapsed back against the tub, chest rising and falling. Sirius turned around, resting his head on Remus’ shoulder and tracing the familiar scars of his mate’s chest. “I will always love you,” Remus promised, kissing the top of Sirius’ head. “Always.”

“Always,” Sirius agreed. He tipped his head up to meet Remus’ lips. It was their promise and their mantra, the words that had been taken from him for twelve years, but that he had found again on his lips.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Super short chapter, just to get some old Order members on there. Incidentally, I'm personally convinced that Tonks gave Moody his nickname "Mad-Eye," and I feel like she and Sirius would have been really close, what with being two Black family rebels.


	5. Chapter 5

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Sirius and Remus get some bad news from the Ministry

Remus had managed to drag Sirius out of bed early for a hike, and they were about to set out just after sunrise when a loud bell rang, signaling somebody trying to get into their grate. Knowing Sirius to be rather famous and given the need for Harry’s security, they had kept their address off all public record, and sealed the grate, so the number of people with access to their home was rather limited. With a quizzical glance at Remus, Sirius hurried back to the hall, only to see Rufus Scrimgeour’s face in the grate.  
“Scrimgeour?” Sirius asked. “I’ll let you through.” By the time Scrimgeour had emerged, Remus and Harry had arrived.   
“This will be Harry then?” Scrimgeour asked, acting as if Remus did not even exist.   
“Yes, that’s Harry,” Sirius said stiffly. “And if you don’t mind, it is 6 A.M. on a Saturday morning. If you don’t mind, telling you what you are doing here exactly.”  
“Perhaps we ought to speak privately,” Scrimgeor said, glancing very pointedly at Remus.  
“As it turns out, Remus is a much better wizard than the rest of the Auror department put together,” Sirius said testily. “As the person you wrongfully imprisoned, I would rather have him with me, if you don’t mind. We’ll go to the study. Harry, we’ll use a silencing charm, so don’t even bother listening at the door.” Remus smiled a little at Harry’s look of frustration, but was more concerned with whatever the head of the Auror’s office had to say. Feeling protective over his mate, he moved over to grip Sirius’ hand and followed him into the study. Once the door was firmly closed, Sirius said, “What’s this about Scrimgeour?”  
“Pettigrew,” Srimgeour stated. “There was a problem with the potion. It was supposed to keep him from transforming but…”  
‘Don’t you fucking tell me…” Sirius said, stepping up so his face was inches from Scrimgeour’s. “Don’t you tell me he’s free now. How bloody incompetent can you people get?”   
“The problem remains, that Pettigrew is one the loose,” Scrimgeour stated. “And I may remind you that you are the one who gave him the idea in the first place. We believe this presents a security threat for the boy and would like to take security measures. The ministry could set wards on your home, place guards.”  
“We are quite capable of protecting Harry ourselves,” Sirius shouted. “How dare you come here, blame me for the fact you’ve failed at your own bloody job and tell us we’re unfit to be Harry’s guardians? We’ve placed better wards on this place than the Department of Magical Security would and you know it, and Remus will be better than anybody in the Auror’s office but you would never admit it. Now I may detest my family, but the name of Black still carries some weight, so I suggest you put all your efforts into finding Peter, or save us all the trouble and hire me on.”  
Remus snapped his head to the side ad stared at his mate. They had spoken vaguely about Sirius getting a job, but upon learning that Moody was no longer head of the Auror office, Sirius had not seemed interested in that career any longer. But Remus knew that blazing look in his eyes well enough to know that he was not going to let this one go, and he couldn’t think of a particular reason why he should. In all honesty, Sirius had been getting rather bored, and when he got bored, he got annoying, and Remus had been trying to find him a hobby, hence the hiking.  
“You want to work as an Auror?” Scrimgeour asked.  
“Yes,” Sirius said.  
“For me?” Scrimgeour asked.  
“Yes,” Sirius stated.  
“And you understand you would answer directly to me,” Scrimgeour clarified. “You would take orders from me, and you would lose your job if you didn’t follow them.”  
“I understand,” Sirius agreed, nodding. “Are you okay with this?” He asked, turning to Remus.  
“I was going to say you needed a hobby,” Remus said, shrugging. “This one seems more productive than stamp collecting or playing fetch.”  
“Well there you have it,” Sirius said.  
“Well then come back to the Ministry with me,” Scrimgeour said. “We have work to do.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Guess this isn't going to be such a happy fic... sorry about that. And not so short either. oops. What have I gotten myself into?


	6. Chapter 6

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Rita Skeeter smells a story, meanwhile Remus and Sirius make preparations for the full moon.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Really slow updates, since I'm not writing this anymore due to nanowrimo. I'll probably get back to it in December, or when I need a break from my novel. I have another bit written that i'll keep posting slowly, though.

With Sirius gone most days, Remus and Harry finished most of his summer homework, then, once it was clear there was no immediate threat to his safety, began exploring the woods, sometimes finding Buckbeak and going for a fly. Remus soon found that Harry had a genuine interest in magical creatures and defending himself against them. Sometimes Ron joined them, always eager to fly off on a broom, leaving behind such mundane things as spells and creatures with names to be memorized. Other days Hermione came along, asking questions as though she was expecting an exam at the end of the day. Sometimes Remus thought he saw her hand twitch as though she were about to raise it, and she almost always called him, “professor,” before saying, “I’m sorry, _Mr._ Lupin.”

Nobody, of course, would call Sirius _Mr_. Black, which is why, when leaving the Ministry with Sirius and Harry on their way to a muggle pub, Remus was surprised when a blonde woman in emerald-green robes appeared out of nowhere and said, “Excuse me, Mr. Black, Sir.”

Sirius blinked at her in surprise, then said, “Rita Skeeter?”

“Yes, it’s me dear. Didn’t expect you to recognize me from the hearing. You look much better, I can certainly see all the charm they always mentioned. Word is you were quite the ladies man back in the day. It really was horrible, what they did to you, not giving you a trial and everything. Now this must be Harry, mustn’t it? He’s been kept in the dark hasn’t he? Hm… I reckon he’s got a lot to say. What do you say about a family interview? Godfather and godson, re-united? I have it on good authority you’ve got a private home somewhere. I have a very good photographer… And who is this? Your valet? Bodyguard?”

“No,” Sirius said firmly, glancing at Remus. “To the interview. We want to be left alone. Let’s go now.” He took Harry by the arm, and hailed a cab, leaving Rita Skeeter standing with a quill whizzing back and forth on a piece of parchment.

“Who was that?” Harry asked.

“Reporter,” Remus answered grimly. “I don’t read her stuff much. It’s a load of rubbish, but a lot of people read it, and she’s ruined people’s reputations. I—I don’t like it. She doesn’t let a story go. It might be better to just give her a harmless interview. Everyone loves a happy family story.”

“I don’t want her poking about things,” Sirius said. “Snape already told everybody you’re a werewolf, and now that she’s spotted you with me.”

“You’ll just tell them I’m an old friend and you’re helping me get back on my feet. You’re an eccentric and I’m taking advantage of your vulnerable state.”

“Moony!” Sirius protested. “That’s not true.”

“It’s the only other way they could understand things,” Remus said matter-of-factly. “It’s the only way they’ll understand things even if they do know.” Glancing over at Harry he said, “Let’s talk about this some other time. I shouldn’t have brought it up.” As if in explanation, he glanced up at the waxing moon, only three days from full. Severus had refused point-blank to brew the potion, regardless of any sum of gold, and Slughorn was vacationing in France and unable to brew it. Sensing his mate’s anxiety, Sirius took Remus’ hand and gripped it tight in his own.

“I could ask Slughorn to come back to England,” he offered. “He’d do it, if I paid him. You know how he is with money.”

“That’s silly,” Remus said. “I’ve been managing for twelve years. I just don’t want to hurt you. I don’t know how the wolf will react when it’s just Padfoot.”

“You’ve never come close to hurting any of us,” Sirius re-assured him. “We did it with just you and me loads of times after school, and I’m almost back to full strength. But you never get hurt too badly on your own, do you?”

“No,” Remus said. Sirius saw a flicker of something cross his lover’s face, but ignored it. He had been able to keep the wolf in check for years after James had stopped coming on full moons, busy with Lily and then the baby. He didn’t know this new potion, didn’t trust it. It would be better, just the two of them. He could protect his own family now. “I hope you don’t mind spending the night at the Weasley’s,” Remus said, turning to Harry. “It really does help me, being somewhere familiar.”

“Of course,” Harry said forcefully. “It’ll be nice, being at the Burrow. I spent part of my summer there two years ago, and it was great, so I don’t mind at all. Whatever you need.”

“Thank you Harry,” Remus said, smiling. He leaned his head into Sirius’ shoulder and spent the rest of the ride listening to the two of them talk about quidditch, reflecting on how lucky he was to find a family after all.


	7. Chapter 7

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Remus prepares for the full moon with Sirius and Harry.

‘I’ve got ice!” Sirius said triumphantly, emerging from the bathroom with a bag of ice wrapped in a towel.

“Bless you,” Remus murmured. He shifted onto his side, groaning as his fever-sore muscles protested, and allowed Sirius to position ice behind his neck and under his back. He had been like this all day: sweaty and over-heated, his body preparing for the change that evening, restless, but in too much pain to move. After a year of Wolfsbane, he was not looking forward to the night ahead if him, but with Sirius at his side again, he felt safer, though not as safe as he would with Sirius at his full strength, able to really control the wolf.

“You’re like a fucking furnace,” Sirius said, getting up after a few minutes in the stifling heat of the bedroom. “I’ll try to let in some air.” When he crossed the room and opened one of the windows, the curtain flew aside, causing Remus to cry out slightly as light flooded the room, burning his eyes. “Oh, I’m sorry,” Sirius said quickly. “I forgot.” Remus had only been really sensitive to light for the last five years, and Sirius wasn’t accustomed to it. The last twelve years hadn’t been kind to either of them.  

“It’s okay,” Remus said weakly. He felt the mattress shift as Sirius lay down beside him and wiped the sweat off his forehead with a cool rag. Remus sighed with relief, and smiled when Sirius leaned in to kiss his forehead and gently stroke his cheek. Hands clasped, Sirius said, “It’s going to be easier again. Remember how it was at school? It used to be fun. Or we can get you that Wolfsbane, and you’ll just sleep. You don’t have to worry so much.” Remus felt his mate’s fingers running though his hair, the hair with far too much grey, and he allowed himself to relax, just a little bit. They lay like that for a little while, before Remus’ stomach gave an audible groan. “I have to go get some food,” Sirius said. “I shouldn’t be gone long. I’ll have Harry come up and check on you.”

“I don’t need that,” Remus protested. He didn’t want Harry to see him this way: weak and feverish, barely able to move without some pain or other.

“You know he just wants to help you,” Sirius said. “He’s a good kid.”

“He is,” Remus agreed.

“And you can’t read, because you can’t have a light on, and you can’t sleep, so you want somebody to stay and talk to you,” Sirius said. “And while I’m afraid it would be inappropriate for Harry to cuddle with you, he can talk to you.”

“Try telling a Thirteen-year-old boy he has to cuddle with his werewolf ex-professor and see if you’re still his cool godfather,” Remus suggested, laughing as Sirius left the room. Back at school, James, Sirius and Peter used to take turns skipping classes to visit Remus in his bed, and the teachers never really punished them too harshly for it, and he had always appreciated the company. Before the change, he became restless and anxious, and the familiar presence of people he trusted went a long way to re-assure him that he was safe. Over the last twelve years the loneliness had been crushing, before and after, as he had done his best to patch himself up and scrape together enough money in between full moons to keep himself fed and in some sort of a home. He had spent time on the streets and gone stretches of time without food. The only other option had been joining Greyback’s pack, and as far as he was concerned, that was not a real option, so he had gone on, not really living for twelve years. But now things would be different. Now he had his pack.

“Remus?” Harry pushed the door open and stepped into the room, bringing with him what was no doubt the rest of the pantry. “How are you?”

“Now worse than usual,” Remus answered, rolling over to accept a bruised apple and stale bread. He tore into the food anyway, glad for any energy. “I’ve been doing this a long time.”

“How—how long have you been like this?” Harry asked hesitantly. “In the shack you said it was since before you came to Hogwarts.”

“I was attacked when I was four years old,” Remus answered, not quite looking up at Harry. He understood that if Harry really was to be family he would need to know these things the way his friends had, but it never got easy telling people, especially Harry, who had looked up to him all year. “The man who attacked me, Greyback, is known for rather gruesome incidents, and my father had insulted him, so it was an act of vengeance. Most werewolves don’t want to hurt people, and we do what we can to prevent it. I’m one of the few who has the friends and the money to contain myself, so most of my kind has to go as deep as they can into the forest and hope for the best, but Greyback is different. He targets children, sets himself up to kill as many as he can on the full, and tries to raise any who survive. A lot of parents abandon their children once they become infected.”

“That’s fucked up,” Harry exclaimed, gesturing wildly. It reminded Remus so much of James he laughed a little, comforted that despite Harry’s childhood of prejudice and hatred, or perhaps because of it, he, like his father, would never hold Remus’ condition against him.

“It is,” Remus agreed. “And I’m too tired to properly scold you for your language. During the war I went undercover, and he had a bit of a pack, maybe seven people, just kids really that he had raised himself, grown to hate humans. His own tiny army. Got killed off in the war, of course, and I have no idea if he’s recruited anyone else since. I honestly hope not. Merlin, I didn’t mean for this to get so dark.”

“I’m sorry,” Harry said quickly. “I shouldn’t have brought it up.”

“It’s okay,” Remus said. “You can ask questions, whenever you like. We’re going to be a family now, like we should have been.  These are things you’re going to have to know.”

“Does it hurt a lot?” Harry asked, glancing up at Remus. “I mean, you said it would hurt, before Sirius and my dad could transform, but now, it should be fine, right? Sirius just looks so worried…”

“I’m going to be fine,” Remus said firmly. “I did it alone for twelve years. I just don’t know what it will be like. It’s been a while since Sirius has done this, and it didn’t exactly go well last month. But we’re hoping for the best.”

“Is there anything I can do?” Harry asked.

“No,” Remus sighed. “No, but it’s very kind of you. What I need for you to do is go over to Ron’s, so I can know you’re safe. Tonks is going to be there, I suppose. Dumbledore seems to think you need constant protection, now that you don’t have your mother’s blood protection. He’s been writing Sirius some very passive-aggressive letters. Accusing him of being reckless. As if that should come as a surprise to anybody.”

“Good old Dumbles,” Sirius said, entering with take-out bags of Chinese food. “Always looking out for peoples’ best interests, especially when it means quality time with their horrible relatives. Incidentally, do you know Draco Malfoy at all, Harry?”

“Yes, he’s horrible,” Harry said. “Why?”

“Figures,” Sirius said with a shrug. At a glare from Remus he sighed and said, “His mother, Narcissa, is my cousin.”

“Your cousin?” Harry exclaimed. “You’re related to _Malfoy?”_

“You’re related to whale-boy,” Sirius shot back.

“Sirius,” Remus scolded, “Not very mature.”

“Fair point though,” Harry admitted.

“Either way, Narcissa keeps sending dinner invitations,” Sirius said grumpily. “She wants us to become closer. And apparently they’re willing to forgive you for losing them your elf. Not sure what that means, but good job, whatever it is. Anyways, I’ll probably head over for tea or something, see what she wants from me. Probably to arrange a marriage to a close relative or something equally revolting.”

“Maybe Tonks,” Remus suggested, digging into his second box of beef stir-fry.

“Nah, half-blood,” Sirius said. “Still, better than werewolf.”

 “Careful or you’ll get yourself disowned a second time,” Remus cautioned.

“Disowned?” Harry asked.

“My dead mother was none too pleased when she learned the particulars of my relationship with Remus,” Sirius said with a shrug. “I was a shame upon the Ancient and Most Noble house of Black, and she threw me from the house. Never made it public though, so as not to let the wider wizarding community know, so I still inherited everything. After that I ran away and moved in with you dad and your grandparents.”

“Really?” Harry asked. “How old were you?”

“Sixteen,” Sirius answered. “It was—an eventful few months. But your grandparents were really good to me. Treated me like their own son, even before I moved in with them officially. I’d spent most of my holidays with them since first year really.”

“I—I don’t even know their names,” Harry admitted, a frown crossing his face. For a second Remus and Sirius exchanged a look of pain and sadness, then their burst into uncontrollable laughter. “Hey—it’s not very funny,” Harry protested, seeing the two men dissolving into hysterics.

“I’m so sorry Harry,” Remus said, wiping away tears of laughter. “It’s just—blimey—I can’t believe nobody’s told you.”

“What?” Harry demanded.

“You grandparents were named Fleamont and Euphemia,” Sirius finally managed to say in between gasping laughs. “So, as far as family names go, you are very lucky your parents went for Harry.”

“Dudley would have gone wild if I’d been named Flea,” Harry said, a look of horror on his face. “The kids at school would probably have actually killed me.”

“Well it actually made your grandfather rather tough,” Sirius said fairly. “He could certainly have held his own in a duel. But he and your grandmother swore they’d name their kids something normal, so you had better not name your something wretched. And that includes Wolfy-McWolf-Wolf, because that’s just asking for trouble.”

As if in agreement, Remus groaned and shoved the empty takeout box back into Sirius hands. “Give me more meat,” he commanded.

“Well if you want meat…” Sirius seemed to remember Harry sitting next to him, blushed, then said hurriedly. “Never mind.”

Harry choked a little, but laughed a little and returned to his soda while Sirius fed Remus sweet and sour pork. Remus ate like a starving man, as did Sirius, even though it had been almost a month since he had enjoyed regular meals. Anticipating a large meal at the Burrow, Harry offered to take the trash down. “You are going to have to get some sort of a filter,” Remus said, laying back down against the bed. His hands began to tremble, and Sirius gripped his hands to quell to movements.

“Tremors?” He asked. “Should be another two hours before the moon fully rises.”

“They can start early,” Remus sighed. “That night in the shack I had taken Wolfsbane for a week. You should take Harry to the Burrow when he comes back up, and then we’ll go down to the cellar. It’ll be good for me to get used to the place before the change happens.”

“Are you sure this is okay?” Sirius asked, gripping Remus’ arm, which was now trembling more and more.

“I’m fine,” Remus said. “I promise.” He looked up to see Harry hovering in the door way. Following his gaze, Sirius smiled, stood up, and crossed the room.

“Why don’t we head on down to the Weasley’s?” Sirius said enthusiastically, closing the door behind him as he slung an arm over Harry’s shoulder. Shaking, Remus pushed himself onto his feet and limped over the window, where dusk had fallen over the forest. He opened the window, taking in the scents of the forest. He would have loved to run through the woods with Padfoot, but couldn’t quite justify with teenage recklessness anymore. He had grown old, all alone, without Sirius, who was at once locked in his twenty-one-year-old self, and horribly aged by his years in Azkaban. And then there was Harry, who had been born with five adults, sworn to love and protect him, and who had lived in a cupboard instead. Dumbledore said that was where he was safest, but surely there were things more important than safety. Dumbledore was the man who had let a werewolf come to school, after all.

“You ready?” Remus snapped his head over to see Sirius standing in the doorway.

“Harry get over alright?” Remus asked.

“Yes, Molly was more than pleased to have him,” Sirius said. “Said I was too skinny and half tried to shove a roast down my throat, but I said you needed me here, so she let me go.” As if to illustrate the point, Remus’ legs gave a tremendous wobble, and he collapsed against the wall before Sirius could rush over to support him. “I don’t suppose I can carry you anymore,” Sirius admitted. “Those stairs might be murder.”

“Surely you’re not too proud to use magic, even now,” Remus quipped, wrapping his arms around Sirius neck. “It’s been a whole week since you exploded anything, so I trust you won’t get me killed.”

“Might be a bit much to ask,” Sirius muttered, but soon Remus felt most of his weight lifted from his feet, which was good, because he was beginning to shake rather hard. Sirius wiped Sweat from his forehead, and guided him down the stairs, to the dank, earthy smelling cellar. There were no windows, which meant no way for the wolf to get out, and with all the protective wards, the house was protected from any possible destruction.

Feeling rather comforted by the earthy smells, Remus settled into a corner and allowed Sirius to gently undress him. Shortly before his transformation all his clothes tended to feel unbearable itchy, and were it not for Harry he would go around starkers. Back in their school days Sirius had bought him a great variety of the softest sweaters and blankets money could buy, trying his best to make him comfortable, and it had been this that had made Remus realize he loved his friend. Sirius’ best efforts had proved futile, as any sort of fabric had proved irritating for the wolf, but he had gotten several soft sweaters and pajamas for the rest of the month.  

Once Remus’ clothes and wand were safely outside the cellar and the wolf’s range of terror, Sirius returned to his mate, and held him as he shook with the violence of his body’s coming change. Remus let out a loud, high-pitched whine, a sound more animal than human. “You ought to change,” Remus finally panted as the tremors wracked his body. The form next to him shifted into a large, shaggy black dog, but didn’t leave his side as every sinew stretched to bursting, every bone snapped, his spine elongated, and his mind sunk below the waters of consciousness.


	8. Chapter 8

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Post-moon recovery

Remus could sense his injuries as soon as he woke. “Remus,” Sirius said, clasping his hand. “You’ve bitten you leg and torn your shoulder up. I’m sorry, I couldn’t keep you in check. You—you threw me off, and I blacked out for a few hours there. I’m so sorry, I couldn’t stop you from it…”

“You hurt?” Remus asked, squinting his eyes to focus of Sirius’ blurry face. One of his arms felt very heavy. “I didn’t bite you? Tell me I didn’t bite you.”

“No, no of course not,” Sirius said. “Stayed in dog form. I’m used to it now. I’ll get supplies. There’s—there’s a lot of blood.” Remus nodded weakly and leaned back into the cold floor, shivering. He looked down to see the mangled sinews of his shoulder hanging off, chewed to the bone, as the pain started to come in by waves. Shallow cuts raked across his sides, and there was a bite on his calf as well, but not as bad as his shoulder. A great wave of pain flooded through him, and it was all he could do to keep from crying out. Soon Sirius was back at his side, holding his uninjured hand, cleaning out the wounds with warm water.

When he felt the familiar sting of dittany, Remus whimpered and curled his body against Sirius. Normally he would be able to handle this all on his own, but it was quite nice to be able to depend on somebody else again, to let Sirius to take care of him. He wrinkled his nose as he smelt the mixture of dittany and powdered silver that Sirius smeared over his leg, and covered with a bandage. “Cold,” Remus admitted, glancing up to meet Sirius’ eyes.

“Of course,” Sirius said, and ran up to fetch a blanket. When he returned, Remus could see that his clothes were torn and covered in blood, and that he was bruised himself.

“You’re hurt…” Remus said, his voice trailing off.

“You should have let me kidnap Slughorn and force him back into the country at wandpoint,” Sirius said, quieting Remus’ protests by wrapping him in a soft white blanket, that would no doubt be ruined. “Now let me get that shoulder on a towel. I hate to think of you handling this on your own for twelve years. I’ll need a bit of light. Can I cover your eyes?”

Remus nodded, and ignored the feelings of panic when one of his senses was taken from him. He snapped his head up quickly, however, when he heard the roar of fire in the fireplace upstairs, and the sound of Mrs. Weasley calling, “Sirius? Harry and I have brought over breakfast. Are you upstairs?”

“Molly?” Remus pushed the towel off his eyes to watch Sirius run over to the stairs and say, “why don’t you wait with Harry in the—”

“Oh dear, is that _blood?”_ Mrs. Weasley asked, hurrying down the stairs regardless of Sirius’ protests.

“Things didn’t go as well as planned,” Sirius said.

“Harry dear, wait upstairs,” Mrs. Weasley instructed, and soon she was downstairs as well. “Oh, Remus dear,” she said, pulling out her wand.

“Don’t,” Sirius said quickly. “Healing magic won’t help. You can give me a hand with the dittany and silver if you wouldn’t mind. Just, try to cover, all of the—Harry, go back upstairs.” Harry had followed the adults into the cellar, which was quite torn apart, and bloody. He was standing, eyes wide, at the top of the stares, looking down at Remus’ bloody, mangled form.

“Is he alright?” Harry asked, his voice more nervous and vulnerable than Sirius could remember hearing it.

“Everything is going to be alright,” Sirius assured him. “Why don’t you go back to the Burrow? I’ll come get you when Remus is better.”

As Sirius spoke, Molly dabbed poultice onto Remus’ shoulder, and he let out a reflexive gasp of pain at the sting. “Is there anything to be done for the pain?” Molly asked. “Anything he can take?”

“Alcohol,” Sirius said.

She rose to her feet, but Harry said, “I know where it is.”

Sirius moved Remus’ head into his lap and helped cover his shoulder in poultice, gently stroking his mate’s cheek and murmuring calming words to help him through the worst of the pain. “You’re doing well,” He murmured, when he was forced to lift the shoulder in order to care for the underside. “Almost done now, love. I’m right here for you. I’m not going to let anything hurt you.” By the time Harry returned with a bottle of firewhiskey, the rest of Remus’ shoulder was covered in stinging poultice, and he gladly welcomed the burn in his throat. Once the pain in his shoulder felt numb enough, he slumped his head back into Sirius’ lap and sighed.

“Hungry?” Sirius asked. “Or would you rather sleep?”

“Sleep,” Remus answered.

“Alright, that goes for you too then, Sirius,” Molly said, in a very motherly tone. “You look dead on your feet about to drop.” And with that, she summoned a stretcher, and Remus found himself very shortly in his bed, Sirius’ protective arms gently wrapped around his uninjured side.


	9. Chapter Nine

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Harry's Birthday--Sirius gets a letter from Narcissa

With constant visits from Molly, and a rather foul, but probably well-intentioned tea from Luna and Xenophilius Lovegood, Remus was back on his feet in a few days, and ready for Harry’s birthday celebration. He and Sirius had considered getting Harry tickets to the quidditch world cup, but when Arthur Weasley had so proudly announced he had managed to procure tickets, they had been more than pleased to let the other man make than announcements, especially as Sirius was still uncomfortable with crowds. He got panicked enough when reporters tried to take his picture on his way in and out of work.

Sirius’ decision to work for the Ministry had been rash to say the least. Working for the people who had falsely imprisoned him and then tried to skate it over with an Order of Merlin, second class had only made him resentful, especially when the trail for Peter ran dry. Sirius was the sort of wizard one could track, when armed with the knowledge he could transform into a large black dog. He was goal-oriented to a manic degree, possessed a dramatic flair that drove him to observe significant anniversaries and make memorable entrances, but Peter was a different story entirely. Peter was the sort of man who, while becoming an animagus at the age of fifteen, could convince his Transfigurations teacher to see him as nothing more than a cheery, chubby dolt. Blending in was what he did. He melted into the background and waited until he found somebody strong to protect him, and finding him was a matter of waiting for somebody suitably strong and in need of followers to appear. Sirius, as he constantly told anyone who would listen, had done his waiting.

And so, as Harry and the Weasleys played quidditch in the backyard, Remus was waiting for a treacle tart when Sirius emerged in the grate—his could mood evident to Remus, one room over—and stomped over to the kitchen.

“One day,” Sirius said, flopping into one of the chairs at the counter, while Remus hardly looked up from the potato he was peeling. “I am going to rip that massive stick from Scrimgeour’s ass and beat him over the head with it. And if that doesn’t have to work, I’ll just have to put it back and resort to a good and proper—”

“Hermione’s in the library, and if the next word out of your mouth is ‘buggering’ I’ll place a silencing charm on you and you won’t get to enjoy you godson’s fourteenth birthday party,” Remus warned.

“How come you get to say it and I don’t?” Sirius whined.

“Because I have a sense of volume, and you don’t,” Remus responded, his voice very low. “And you only get to say that when it’s in the context of me doing it to you. What did he do this time?”

Sirius let a quick grin cross his face, then said, “Just being a complete pisswad. Wants to move on from the fact that a known death Eater, responsible for the deaths of James and Lily and about twenty muggles is on the loose, and focus on ‘dark activities in Knockturn Alley’ but not of course people we know were Death Eaters like Lucius Malfoy of course.”

“Narcissa sent a letter, incidentally,” Remus said. Sirius ripped the cream envelope with silver ink open and read the letter quickly, his tongue sticking out from between his lips. “What does she want?” Remus asked.

“Just tea,” Sirius said, looking a little disturbed. “She says—she says she wants me to meet Draco.”

“Why?” Remus asked.

“She said he reminds her of Regulus,” Sirius said, handing the letter over the Remus. “Says he just wants to be just like his father, and she think he could benefit from some time with his cousin.” Remus couldn’t think how to respond, reeling from the emotional impact he was sure those words must be having on Sirius, but before he knew it, the doors had burst it, and Harry and the Weasleys were in the kitchen.

“Ginny, that was brilliant,” Harry exclaimed, getting butterbeers from the refrigerator. “That last goal… I didn’t know you could fly like that.” When Ginny just blushed and stammered something incomprehensible, Sirius and Remus exchanged amused glances and saved their conversation for later. Tonight would be about Harry, and Sirius was very excited to give him the two-way mirrors.


	10. Chapter 10

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Sirius' visit to Narcissa triggers some unpleasant memories

 

“I can’t believe you’re having tea with Malfoy’s mum,” Harry said, wrinkling his nose. “She always looks like she’s got dung under her nose.”

“I imagine being married to Lucius would have that effect,” Sirius said, trying to force a casual smile as he poured himself a glass of water. “But she is family, and I’m sure I can get through one afternoon. Lucius is in Russia on business, and will be until the World Cup.”

“Harry…” Remus said, trying to give the boy some idea of what this meeting meant to Sirius, but he received a murderous look from his mate and changed his mind. “Er… have a nice fly with Ron. If Molly invites you to stay for dinner, just send an owl over.” Privately, Remus hoped for some time to talk things over with Sirius, but he hated to impose upon Molly, or make Harry feel unwanted.

“Feel free to bring our brooms as well,” Sirius said. “That way you can have a better game.”

“Thanks,” Harry said, lighting up.

As Harry headed over to the broom shed, Sirius buried his hand in his face. “What are you thinking about?” Remus asked.

“Reg,” Sirius answered at last. “Do you reckon if I was there for him more, if I could have stopped him from getting into all that shit? I mean, he was just a kid when he died. Hardly of age, even. Maybe if I’d stuck around…”

“Sirius, you did what you had to do to survive,” Remus said. “And it isn’t as it you had much of a choice about staying.” He walked around behind Sirius and wrapped his arms around the shorter man’s waist.

“So did he,” Sirius sighed. “I thought he had a choice, but really he didn’t. He didn’t have the Potters, he didn’t have you, he didn’t even have me, not really. All he had was them, and Death Eaters, and of course he joined, and I can’t help but think maybe there was more that I could have done…” He cut himself off when Harry returned with brooms. “See you later kiddo,” He said, smiling.

“See you,” Harry said, skipping off in the direction of the floo.

Once the roar of fire had died down, Remus said, “Maybe you can help Draco. It sounds like he doesn’t have a lot of options. His Dad’s a Death Eater, and he wants to do whatever he can to please him. Look, I taught him for a year, and he’s pretty horrible. He looked down on Hermione for being muggle born, looked down on Hagid for being, well, big, looked down on me for being poor. He’s Lucius all over again, and it won’t be easy getting through to him. I don’t know how much you can do, but it might be good for him to know that there’s somebody else out there, who doesn’t feel the same way his father does, and you’re a pure blood with money so he’ll respect you well enough. And it sounds like Narcissa’s worried about something.”

“That’s the bit that concerns me,” Sirius sighed. “She was never cruel, not the way Bella was. Sure, she was ambitious, always wanted to be the one on top, and she could be cold in order to get there, but not cruel. And very proud. So proud of being a bloody Black, and a Slytherin, never quite as maniacal about the blood purity thing, but certainly thought she was better than everyone else because of it. And—”

“Sirius, love, you’re babbling,” Remus said kindly. “I think you’d better go see Narcissa.” Sirius bit his bottom lip for a while, but eventually nodded and headed off in the direction of the floo. Sighing, Remus watched him go, wishing he could go as well, but the less Narcissa knew about the particulars of their relationship, the better. Walburga had been adamant to keep anybody outside the family from knowing. Even now, while both men were more than happy for the people close to them to know about their relationship, it would only bring endless headache if their personal life became public knowledge, especially since Snape had broadcasted Remus’ condition. They didn’t want Harry to have to go to school and be ridiculed for his family, or for neither of them to be able to leave the home without being swarmed by reporters. And so Remus stayed behind, at home, where he tried to find things to keep himself busy in his unemployment.

Out of frustration, Remus threw down the towel he had been using to dry off dishes a little forcefully and made his way into the library. He had always loved reading, but he just didn’t feel useful. At first, it had all been like a long vacation, but then it had become lonely, with Harry and Sirius gone most of the time, and his thoughts wandered to the empty bedroom upstairs, the one he and Sirius had yet to discuss.

“Stupid,” he muttered, rubbing his temples. There was no way a werewolf could make a good father, even if he could find a woman willing to give her child to two gay men, one of whom happened to turn into a dark creature once a month. It was a silly fantasy, and he ought to just build a study, or something of the sort. If he wanted to feel meaningful, perhaps he needed a hobby, or a pet. Making a child have him for a father… that was cruel. He knew better than anybody what prejudice he would bring upon him or her, what suffering. Just to be associated with a werewolf was damning in this society, and it would be selfish of him to condemn an innocent baby to that.

With a groan, Remus forced his thoughts away from such things and tried to focus on his book until Sirius returned.

 

As soon as he arrived in Malfoy’s parlor, Sirius could tell this was not a place he would like. It had that same sort of enclosing, suffocating feeling of Grimmauld Place that spoke of strict standards, ancient bloodlines mapped with precision, desiccated elf heads… the like.

“Sirius,” Narcisaa’s voice was silky and smooth as usual as she swept down the stairs in velvet of the deepest green. Sirius had worn rich red, just to spite her, but bowed slightly and pressed his lips to her hand when she extended it all the same. Old habits die hard. “I’m glad to see you are well. Have you an elf?”

“No,” Sirius said firmly. He was sure Kreacher must have died years ago, and if his relationship with that wretched thing was more than enough to follow Harry’s example present the next elf he saw with a sock. And a meal probably, if Remus had a say in it. “I do alright for myself and Harry.”

“So he is living with you?” Narcissa asked, leading the way into a grand sitting room. “Of course, I could never take over the running of Malfoy Manor. I am sure your home is much more… quaint, but it would be far too much for me, and demeaning. You really ought not to let anybody important see you at the cleaning.”

“And Harry Potter, the Boy Who Lived isn’t anybody important?” Sirius quipped,” lounging in one of Narcissa’s armchairs, which wasn’t very comfortable. “I happen to believe in the value of hard work.”

“As do I,” Narcissa said. “The Names Black, Malfoy and Slytherin would mean nothing without a considerable deal of it, but it wasn’t dishwashing that makes them memorable.”

“No, I generally associate the name _Malfoy_ a dark mark and a mask,” Sirius said scathingly. “Perhaps _The Prophet_ is too pedestrian for such a fine manor, but in case you hadn’t heard, I’m not actually on your side.”

“What’s to say it’s _my_ side,” Narcissa said.

“Well he’s your bloody husband, Sirius snapped.

“You think I have any control over Lucius’ decisions?” Narcissa asked. Her look of perfect control wavered for just a moment, and Sirius thought he could detect just a hint of fear. “I want what is best for my son,” she stated, her voice barely over a whisper. “When I was married to Lucius, my parents told me, that the Dark Lord promised the path to greatness, that by siding with him I could give my family the best opportunities. After the war was over, Lucius promised it would all be over, that we would live comfortably, give Draco everything he could want, and that all the darkness would be in the past, but two years ago he opened the Chamber of Secrets just to discredit a man he disliked, a man who wasn’t even a threat to our family.”

“Why is this my concern?” Sirius asked. “You married a Death Eater, and you’re surprised when he doesn’t play nice? You were never a stupid girl Narcissa, I thought you knew the game you were playing. Always choosing the most powerful man to attach yourself to, play him. You had to know that one day you wouldn’t be able to control him, when you weren’t as young and beautiful as you once were.”

To her credit, Narcissa didn’t bat an eye at the insult, just gave Sirius that same look that said he and his petty words were beneath her. “Have you really no concern for your family?” She said at last. “I don’t expect you to understand or respect my choices, but the same blood that runs through your blood is in my son’s. He wants for nothing more than to be like his father, and he will not listen to anything I say. I have done everything I can for him, I assure you, but I think, maybe he would respect another male, perhaps.”

“It isn’t my concern,” Sirius said angrily, rising to his feet, at the same time that another voice in his head—a voice that sounded a great deal like Remus said that he should stay. His blood was on fire with hatred for her. He looked at her and saw his mother and childhood and everything he had grown to hate, even if she was asking for the very thing he had come to do.

He had made it to the door when Narcissa said, “You know we never even found Regulus’ body.” Sirius stopped, his fists clenched, as she added, “Something had set him to panicking. None of us quite know what—that was between him and the Dark Lord—but we all knew the signs. Not a month after his eighteenth birthday he was dead.”

Sirius turned around slowly, his mind spinning. Regulus had wanted to defect, and hadn’t even told him, hadn’t contacted him in any way. He remembered Dumbledore telling him before an Order meeting, the way he had felt like all the air was sucked out of his lungs. Narcissa was standing there, in the center of her large parlor, in her fine dress, surrounded by all the things she had wanted, but her eyes said that she knew she was at risk of losing the one thing that really mattered. “What—what do you want me to do?” Sirius asked, his voice dry.

“Just, spend some time with him,” Narcissa said, sitting down, her composure instantly regained. Sirius returned to his seat and the charade of polite teatime conversation. “Don’t be too explicit about anything or scare him off, just, let him know that there are other ways of living, and that he has somewhere else to go. You’re his family.”

“Of course,” Sirius said curtly. “It’s just… Harry lives with me, and he and Harry don’t get on.”

“I’m sure we can arrange things so they won’t see one another,” Narcissa said.

“And while of course Lucius supports Draco having any connections with powerful families, I think it will be best if the two of you don’t cross paths.”

“That seems prudent,” Sirius agreed. Any sort of charitable feelings he may be able to conjure up for this Malfoy kid would be out the window as soon as Lucius entered the room.

“I’m glad we’ve reached an agreement,” Narcissa said, smiling. “Biscuit?”

 

Sirius ate dinner in near total silence, and knowing the types of mood Sirius’ family could induce, Remus sent an owl to Molly asking her to keep Harry overnight again. “I’m making tea,” he said, taking the dishes. “And then we’re talking properly.”

Sirius didn’t complain, just flopped his head down in between his hands on the table. When Remus returned a few minutes later he pulled a chair up beside his mate so he could run his fingers through Sirius’ thick black hair and murmur into his ears, “What did she want?”

“She just wants me to be there for Draco,” Sirius said morosely. “A sort of father figure. He’s turning out to be a mini Death Eater already, and she thinks I can stop it somehow, and she basically said I turned my back on Reg…” his words were cut off by a tremendous choking sob, and he buried his head back into his arms, his chest shuddering unevenly. “I should have been there for him, Moons…”

“Sh,” Remus soothed. “You did all you could. She should never have said that to you. You’d been through so much, and you were still a kid.” But Sirius wasn’t with him anymore. He was in full panic mode, his breath rising in sharp jagged thrusts, his whole body shaking. He started murmuring things that made no sense, as if he was in the middle of some fit or nightmare. “Sirius!” Remus called, shaking him gently. “Sirius, tell me what’s happening.”

“I can’t stop seeing things,” Sirius choked out. “And hearing… memories. It’s been getting worse since… since it’s been getting darker, and I can’t make them go away, Moons. I don’t know what’s real anymore.”

Drawing in a deep breath, Remus conjuring a patronus, a corporeal one, knowing it would be stronger. “I’m real, Sirius,” he said, pulling Sirius into his chest. “I’m not going anywhere.” He gently stroked Sirius hair as the wolf stalked protective circles around them until Sirius’ breath slowed down enough for him to reliably get some air. “Let’s get you to bed,” Remus whispered, and took Sirius hand to lead him up the stairs, tea trailing behind, because Remus was a firm believer in the fact that tea made all things better.

Once upstairs, Remus helped Sirius into an old sweater with comforting “Moony smells” and they got into bed. “What do you want?” Remus asked.

“Tell me about the happy memories,” Sirius said, shivering, despite the summer heat, the blankets, and Remus’ unnaturally high body temperature.

“Would you like me to tell you about the night Harry was born?” Remus asked, rubbing Sirius back gently. Sirius nodded and crouched over his cup of tea.

_“Get up you lazy fuckers my firstborn is on his or her way,” Remus sat bolt upright at the sound of James’ voice in the mirror, then shook Sirius vigorously._

_“Sirius,” he hissed. “The baby’s being born. We’ve got to get there.”_

_“I’m up, I’m up,” Sirius said, throwing off the blankets and hopping around the room, “Fuck, where’s my wand.”_

_“Calm down,” Remus said. “Labor takes hours. I’m sure Harry or Holly can wait long enough for you to get your shoes tied.”_

_“Yeah well Lily had better keep her legs shut,” Sirius groused. After a few minutes, both men stumbled from their apartment, still half asleep, and hand-in-hand, disapparated into the Potter estate. Molly Weasley greeted them at the door and said, “Come on this way dears. Pandora’s up with them now. It’ll be a few hours now, but you can just stay and wait outside.”_

_Sirius nodded, pale as a ghost, though Remus was more relaxed. He had spent enough time with Lily, going over the preparations, sitting in with meeting with Pandora while he was recovering from full moons that he had adjusted to the idea of what she would go through. Magical births were easier and faster than muggle ones, though by no means painless. Still, with Voldemort targeting James, Lily and their baby, Sirius had taken his role of godfather very seriously, and had felt the anxious need to protect his “pack” at all times._

_“They’re both going to be safe,” Remus murmured, leaning into Sirius’ shoulder. “Pandora’s delivered all six Weasley boys, and they were all healthy, and the place has all the wards we could think of.”_

_“I know,” Sirius breathed. They summoned chairs to the hall outside the master bedroom and waited, running occasional errands for a few hours that felt like years, getting occasional updates from Molly, and once Pandora who poked her head out to say that Lily was doing very well._

_The sun had risen by the time Molly emerged, looking very tired, but rather excited and said, “Well boys, would you like to meet him?”_

_Palms sweaty, hearts racing, Remus and Sirius hurried into the other room, where Lily was slumped against the headboard, looking exhausted, but ecstatic, and holding a tiny squirming bundle. James was crouched over her, speaking gently to the baby cradled against her chest._

_“It’s—it’s a Harry,” Sirius managed to stammer, crossing the room to look down at the tiny human. “That---that thing just came out of you?” He looked down at Lily’s stomach, where he had gotten so used to seeing a familiar bump._

_“Do you want to hold him?” James asked._

_“What if I break him?” Sirius stammered._

_“Then I’ll personally murder you,” Lily said. “But honestly, just take him already. We’ll expect you to watch him so we can sleep every now and again.”_

_Nodding, Sirius accepted the squirming baby, murmuring, “Hello Harry.” Harry squawked back at him, opening his tiny eyes._

_“He’s got your eyes, Lils,” Remus breathed, taking hold of both of Sirius’ shoulders. Lily sighed happily, and James pulled the blankets over her. Lily sighed and closed her eyes, trusting her boys to mind the child while she dozed off for a well-earned nap._

_“He’s beautiful, isn’t he?” Sirius said. “Just like his mum.”_

_“She was amazing,” James said. “I don’t know how women do it. I was so nervous. It was almost as bad as watching you transform, Moons. I thought I might shit myself I was so nervous. And she’s convinced we’re having at least two.”_

_“Just you wait until you’re getting about two minutes of sleep and you haven’t shagged in a week,” Sirius said, grinning up at James._

_“That’s what you and Moony are for,” James said._

_“Speaking of, my arms are getting tired,” Sirius said, and turned the pass the bundle off the Remus, who backed away instinctively. Holding babies was not something he did, given what he was._

_“I can’t,” He stammered._

_“Sirius and I already managed to do it,” James sighed. “And besides, Arthur told me he dropped each and every one of his kids within the first week, and they’re all fine. Just don’t tell Molly that, or she might kill him.”_

_“No, it’s not that. I’m—”_

_“Don’t you fucking dare say you’re a monster,” Sirius said, his eyes flashing dangerously._

_“Oy,” James said. “Language. But yes, Sirius may be godfather, but if Lily and I got killed, which we all know is very likely, you’re the one who would do all the proper parent things like bedtimes and vegetables and mittens. Lily and I couldn’t think of anybody better to be holding our son.” By this point James was standing up and facing his friend, looking him directly in the eye. “So don’t you dare tell me you’re a monster, Remus, because you’re the most decent human being I know.”_

_Eyes wet with tears, Remus accepted Harry, who cooed slightly in his sleep and nestled into Remus’ chest but did not wake. James reached up one hand to brush his son’s cheek, then let his son grasp his finger with his tiny infant fingers. “He’s so small,” James sighed. “We’ve all got to protect him. Sometimes I think we were mad, making him in the midst of all of this, but I just love him so much, and I want him to be happy and go to Hogwarts and live in a better world. We’ve got to protect him, you know?”_

_“I know,” Sirius said. “We’ll do everything we can. You know, he’s going to have four dads. Peter’s going to piss himself once he sees him.”_

_ Remus just smiled and rocked Harry back and forth, not quite sure how he could love something so much, only having met him that day. But he knew that he would do whatever it took to protect the child he held in his arms. _

    


	11. Chapter 11

“Mrs. Weasley said that Sirius isn’t feeling well,” Harry said, having gotten back from Ron’s. He looked up at Remus, who was exhausted, but trying to put up a good front while making a nice breakfast for Sirius. “But he seemed perfectly normal when I left,” Harry continued. “So perhaps it was something he ate?” Something in Harry’s voice told Remus that the teenager was wondering if he was going to be lied to, if he was trusted in this family.

“No,” Remus said carefully. “He was fine then, but he isn’t well now. Harry, being around Dementors for a long time has lasting effects, and sometimes things can be a bit unexpected. Like the nightmares. You know his memory isn’t always the best either. Things didn’t go so well last night, but he’s feeling better. He’s going to have a bit of a lie in, and then I think it’s best if we let him tell us what he needs. He spent the night as Padfoot, which helped, I think. He may want to spend some time with you. Maybe go flying with you, if you don’t have other plans.”

“Nothing too important,” Harry said, grinning. “I’m glad he’s feeling better. I—I can’t imagine it… Azkaban. Just being around them for a few minutes makes me feel so wretched, so I can’t imagine twelve years.”

“The important thing for us to do is to remind him of the happy things,” Remus said. “And make more happy memories. He’s had far too many taken away.” When Harry nodded, Remus continued, “You have to know that you are the one thing that makes him the happiest, Harry. Just seeing you, all grown up, the fine young man you’ve become, it gives him hope. It was what gave him hope in war as well, what made him want to keep fighting. He never had much in the way of family, so the Marauders, we were family, and you were our family too.”

Harry blushed and looked away, so Remus just asked, “Did Molly feed you at the Burrow?”

“Yeah,” Harry answered.

“Well I’ll let you know when Sirius is up,” Remus said, offering Harry a mug of tea. “Let me know if you need anything.”

“Alright,” Harry said with a shrug. Remus was halfway up the stairs when Harry said “Remus?”

“Yes?” Remus asked, turning around.

“Do you think he’ll ever stop seeing those things?” Harry asked. “All the memories—Do you think they’ll ever go away?”

“I—our worst memories never truly go away,” Remus answered honestly. “But they become less painful with time. Time, and love and safety. And when they come back they aren’t as overwhelming, and then I think he’ll know how to deal with them.”

Harry nodded and headed off into the library, silently. Sighing, Remus headed the rest of the way up the stairs into the bedroom. He found a large, almost bear-sized black dog taking up most of the bed and sighing, set the breakfast tray on the bedside table.

Flopping onto the bed, Remus buried his face into Sirius fur, and rubbed his far soothingly. “You’re going to have to change back if you want breakfast I’m afraid,” Remus commented. “I haven’t got any dog food on hand.”

“Very rude of you,” Sirius said, once again human. He stretched out, his neck cracking audibly, then turned to the tray beside him. “But honestly I’m starving.”

“Sit up then,” Remus said. Once he had secured the napkins over Sirius’ chest and lap, he set the tray over his lap and poured them each a cup of tea. “How are you feeling?” He asked, once Sirius had gone through his first course.

“Better,” Sirius said with a shrug. “I guess I know you’re real now, and I’m real, but things are still a little...wobbly. Like everything could still go away. I _know_ that all of this is real, but sometimes I think it might just be a trick, or a memory, or something and I’ll wake up and be back there. Things are more solid when I’m Padfoot. It’s harder to fool a dog.’”

“I told Harry you weren’t feeling well,” Remus admitted. “And I said it had to do with Dementors and everything.” Sirius closed his eyes and groaned, leaning his head against the headboard. “I didn’t want to lie to him,” Remus said when Sirius said nothing. “I’m sorry, if you didn’t want me to say anything, but he just wants to help.”

“It’s okay,” Sirius said at last. “I just… I don’t want him to think I’m mad, or I can’t be there for him.”

“He won’t think that,” Remus assured his mate, taking both of Sirius’ hands. “I think he’ll understand more than you think he will. The way he grew up… it’s somewhat like yours actually.” Sirius flinched at the thought of his godson living a childhood like his own, so Remus quickly added, “I don’t think they beat him like your parents did, but I think he can understand some of the things you went through. It just… He’s not James.”

“What has that got to do with anything?” Sirius demanded.

Remus sighed, trying to say this next bit carefully. “James loved you no matter what, and he took you in after you left your home, but he didn’t always understand what you needed. You used to pretend you were happier than you actually were because you didn’t know how to tell him when you were scared or hurt and as much as he was there for you, he didn’t always know how to be. It wasn’t until he was seventeen that he really understood what the war really meant, and he never knew what it was like to be hated just for what he was. But Harry—he lived that with his Aunt and Uncle and has already lost his parents and he’s only thirteen. As horrible as it is, he knows some of what you’re going through, and I don’t think he’ll judge you for it. When he and his friends faced Dementors, he was the one who passed out, and he was so ashamed of it. In fact, I think it would be helpful for him if you were to show him it isn’t shameful.”

“I suppose you’re right,” Sirius said, poking at his bacon. Remus moved the tray out of the way so Sirius could curl up and lay on his lap, dog-like. As Remus ran his fingers through his hair, he said, “I miss them so much.”

“I do too,” Remus sighed. He didn’t need to wonder who Sirius was asking about.

“Even with all the people we saw die, I never really thought one of us would die, you know,” Sirius admitted. “I didn’t think it could happen. I didn’t really think two people I had know since I was eleven, two people my whole fucking world revolved around could just _end_ like that.”

“We still have a part of them,” Remus murmured, stroking the hair away from Sirius’ forehead, then leaning down to kiss his temple. “We have Harry.”


	12. Chapter 12

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Sirius meets Draco for the first time

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> TW for referenced abuse  
> Disclaimer: "Siri" is used 100% ironically here

Sirius squirmed under the stiff lace of his dress robes. A part of him had wanted him to reject Narcissa’a dinner invitation, but he felt it was his duty to meet this Malfoy kid at least—know what he was dealing with. As much as he hated to think it would bring up difficult memories for his mate, Remus knew it was just something Sirius had to do, and accepted it as possibly the only way he would be able to grieve Regulus. “How do I look?” Sirius asked.

“Aristocratic,” Remus asked, straightening the cuffs slightly.

Harry tried—and failed—to keep a straight face. “I’m sorry,” he said. “I just… dress robes. I think they make you like like a bit of a…”

“Poofter?” Sirius asked, raising his eyebrow.

“Well…” Harry said, glancing at the lace trim. “I wouldn’t use the word myself, but as you’ve said it, yes.”

“Wizard fashion is a little bit more flamboyant than muggle styles,” Remus commented. “Naturally, Sirius fits right in.”

“Your words wound me,” Sirius said, gasping dramatically. Turning to Harry, he said, “I’ll have you know that in the seventies I was the definition of cool. I could pull off any muggle style. Not like your dad. He just looked like an idiot every time he tried to show your mum he knew anything about the muggle world. After the purple jumpsuit incident of 1977 he went back to quidditch jerseys.”

“Purple jumpsuit?” Harry spluttered. “My dad actually wore a purple jumpsuit?

“Purebloods,” Remus muttered, rolling his eyes. “They always muck up muggle clothes.

“The point is,” Sirius insisted, “That I was cool.”

“Yes you were,” Remus sighed, and kissed him on the cheek. “Once I taught you the basics like pants go on the bottom and must be zipped in all cases, shirt button from the inside and jackets go on the outside you did quite well on your own. Now you’ll be late to dinner.”

Grumbling something about “leather jackets” and “punk rock” and “cool” Sirius stepped into the fireplace and dropped some floo power, calling out, “Malfoy Manor.”

Narcissa’s fireplace was spotless—not a speck of floo powder visible anywhere when Sirius stepped out. He greeted her with the usual formality, turned to a pale, blond boy with a pointed face. He could see Lucius almost immediately, and in a flash remembered a skirmish where Lucius’ mask had gotten knocked off, and they’d dueled, the other man’s blond hair flying everywhere. “Hello Sir,” Draco said, extending his hand.

“Hello Draco,” Sirius said, taking it and shaking firmly. The boy had a well-practiced handshake, with enough of a smile to win his mother’s approval, but a smirk underneath it to show he though this meeting was below him. “How has your summer been?”

“Alright,” Draco drawled. “But not very exciting. Father’s been in Russia and it sounds far more interesting than here. Last summer we went to Spain, but this year I’ve been stuck here with Mother.” Narcissa made a sound of exasperation at Draco’s words, but didn’t seem bothered.

“Have you seen your friends much?” Sirius asked.

“I suppose,” Draco said, as if the idea bored him. “Crabbe and Goyle come around for tea every now and again. Pansy too. Blaise—he’s my only _interesting_ friend—is in Bangladesh.”

“Why don’t we start on our meal,” Narcissa suggested, and lead the boys into the dining room. The table was long, and could easily have accommodated thirty people. Hanging above it was a great crystal chandelier, which reflected the candlelight. Draco took a seat at the head of the table, and Sirius and Narcissa sat at either side. As soon as they sat, bowls of soup appeared on their plates, warm, but not too hot as to burn one’s mouth. Sirius had forgotten what it was like to have an elf in the house, and it unsettled him, with his less than kind memories of Kreacher.

“So, Harry told me you’re Slytherin’s seeker,” Sirius said, turning to Draco.

“Oh, yes _Potter_ said that, did he?” Draco asked. Sirius was a little taken aback by Draco’s tone, but reminded himself that Harry and Draco were not on the best of terms, like Snape and James had been, and mentioning Harry perhaps had not been the smartest choice. “And yes, I am house seeker,” Draco continued. “Only, that foul Hippogryph mauled me last year and I couldn’t play for a month. Bloody beast should have been executed, but the idiot Hagrid couldn’t tie a proper knot. Why that oaf hasn’t gotten the sack…”

“Hippogryphs only need to be shown respect,” Sirius scolded. “And Hagrid’s very good at his job. Or at least being game-keeper. I can’t speak for teacher, but he was a bloody brilliant game-keeper in my day. Always gave me rock cakes and let me see cool creatures. Even showed me a manticore hatchling once. And don’t call him and oaf. It’s rude.”

“My father—” Draco began to say, but Sirius quickly cut him off.

“I don’t want to hear about how your father talked the Minister into getting a harmless bird killed. Let me tell you something about your father. In my third year I snuck into the laundry and sprinkled his pants with powdered doxy droppings and he stank for weeks. Everybody called him—”

“That was you?” Narcissa asked.

“James helped,” Sirius said, grinning. Her furious glare told him that he had been successful in producing a rash in the places he had been hoping for as well. “The point is,” he said, turning back to Draco, “Your father is not all-powerful.”

Draco turned to his mother, as if hoping she would confirm that yes, he was but she said, “Sirius, this is hardly a dinner discussion.”

“Sorry ‘Cissy,” he muttered.

“Apology accepted. Siri.” Sirius glowered at the resurrection of the childhood nickname and prayed to Merlin, Godric, Circe, Rowenna, Helga, and even Salazar that Remus never heard that particular nickname. The teasing would be endless. “How have you been?” She asked, shifting the attention away from their trip down memory lane as they remembered Draco’s presence. “I’m sure the Auror’s office is keeping you busy.”

“Not as much as I’d have thought,” Sirius said. _I know where at least one death Eater is holed up though,_ he thought, sweeping his eyes around the mansion. Life had treated Lucius well it seemed, though Narcissa apparently didn’t trust him as she once did. Unless this was just some game, or a ploy to get him back on their side. “The trail for Pete—Pettigrew went cold. It is rather difficult to find a single rat.”

He looked at her, wondering if she might know anything from her Death Eater friends, but her impassive mask showed no change as she said, “yes, I imagine even harder than it must have been to find a dog. Especially as they didn’t know they were looking for one.”

“What was it like?” Draco drawled unexpectedly. “Living as a dog for a year?”

The bluntness of the question was a bit jarring, but Draco looked, for all the the world as if he had every right to anything he wanted to know. With the smallest frown, Sirius said, “Not bad, compared to Azkaban really. I like being a dog. I mean, it’s my animagus form for a reason, isn’t it? It’s certainly easier to meet your basic needs but the fleas—the fleas are unpleasant.” Rather than looking amused as Harry has, Draco looked mildly disgusted at the thought.

“And Azkaban?” he asked. “What was that like?” He leaned in now, both his elbows on the table, all his attention on Sirius.

Sirius stared blankly at the boy, at a loss for words. How to describe re-living your worst memories every moment of every day? How to describe the inability to feel happiness? What was it like to know your lover and godson needed you and that you could do nothing but sit in a cell and rot for a crime you didn’t commit? And here this boy was, looking at him like some animal on display. “It—it was worse than anything you can imagine. If you’ve been around Dementors—”

“I’ve been around them and I didn’t faint,” Draco practically bragged, and Sirius felt sudden, hot hatred for the boy.

“You don’t have a fucking clue what you’re talking about,” he shouted, leaping to his feet. “You’re just some spoiled, rich little daddy’s boy, sitting here like you’re better than me, and Harry and everyone’s else because you have money and nothing bad has ever happened to you, and there aren’t any bodies for you to see when you close your eyes and there aren’t other people’s screams for you to hear when the lights go out, and I’m glad there isn’t, because I fought for that. I fought so that everyone could live without having to see death everywhere around them, fearing for their friends, watching the people they know die, go into hiding, seeing their community ripped apart by fear and distrust. I did that for Hogwarts and Harry, and even little shits like you, but your dad would have had you torturing muggles as soon as you were out of diapers, and maybe you think that might’ve been nice, but I don’t know if you’d really have the stomach for it. Because it’s the ones I had to kill—the Death Eaters—the ones I was battling, it’s those dead faces I remember too. When you hurt people it comes at a cost, and maybe you don’t feel it at first, because it’s _exciting_ fighting a war, and they’re the enemy, but soon enough they’re people too, and a lot of them are kids not so different from yourself, or your brother, and you wonder if they maybe were just scared. And that’s the sort of thing you think about all day, and those are the sorts of things you see and hear, and I’m pretty sure you have some things that would come back to haunt you as well.”

Sirius stood these, shaking slightly in his fury, staring at the white-faced boy across the table from him, speechless. Sirius moved forward, about to storm away in a dramatic exit, but as soon as he moved even slightly in Draco’s direction, the boy reflexively brought his hands up to shield his face and jerked his knees up so hard they hit the bottom of the table, letting out a small whimper as he did so. It was a movement Sirius recognized so well, he felt he needed to stay, needed to show this boy—because he really only was a boy—that he would stay, and he wouldn’t hurt him. He glanced over at Narcissa who looked tense, almost paralyzed and smiled slightly, then said, “Soup was lovely. Shall we move on to the next course?” because this was how things went in the Black family.

Narcissa blinked as Sirius took his seat and settled his napkin back on his front, then smiled at Draco re-assuringly. “Yes, of course,” she said, then their plate filled with a rather appetizing cut of lamb.

“So, you really escaped then?” Draco asked, his face regaining some of its color—not that anybody in the family had much to speak of in the first place.

“Ah, yeah,” Sirius said. “Transformed into a dog, and starved myself until I could slip through the bars then swam to shore.

Draco leaned back, nodding, then smiled slightly, his upper lip curling up. “That’s pretty bad-ass.” Sirius figured that was as close to an apology as he was going to get from this kid, so he just smiled and nodded.

“I’m telling you kid, I’m cool.”


	13. Chapter 13

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Conversation between Sirius and Tonks

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm going to post a really big chapter tomorrow, if I finish it. Hopefully.

“Sirius!” Sirius spun around in the atrium of the Ministry to see Slughorn bustling over to him in his eggplant purple pinstripe suit. “There you are, m’boy. I’ve just been by to drop off Remus’ potion. It was certainly a tricky one, but interesting to make. Not many werewolves are able to afford it, you know.”

“Yes, of course,” Sirius said smiling. He and Tonks had just gotten back from lunch at the Leaky Cauldron, and were heading back to the Auror’s office.

“Very charitable of you to help him out,” Slughorn said, smiling. “You were such close friends at school.” Sirius winced as Slughorn clapped him on the shoulder, then said, “Well I’ve got a lunch appointment with Ludo Bagman. I helped him get his first internship, did you know? I’m expecting World Cup tickets!”

“Sounds exciting,” Tonks said cheerily as Sirius glared at Slughorn.

“Yes, lovely to see you as well, Nymphadora. You’re looking lovely today darling.” Slughorn said, and made his way off to the elevators.

“Git,” Sirius muttered. “He always treated Remus like he was useless because he wouldn’t get anywhere. Convinced him he was bad at Potions when he was pretty good, just not as amazing as the in the rest of the subjects.”

“He was convinced I was only in Hufflepuff because I was Half-blood,” Tonks commented. “As if I wasn’t good enough for his house because of my blood status. ”

“Still, at least he’ll brew Wolfsbane,” Sirius sighed. “Most Potions masters won’t. You should’ve seen the letters I got. Things like lists of suggested poisons they’d be happy to brew me for my werewolf friend. It’s as if they don’t want to keep werewolves safe on full moons.”

“It’s disgusting,” Tonks said, shaking her head. “The ministry should just brew it and administer it to everybody on the register. As long as it’s… Is it safe?’

“Yeah,” Sirius said, “He’s just exhausted after a few days of it. I mean, if it makes the moons easier I’m all for it, but normally I quite enjoy the heightened animal instincts in the week leading up to the moon.” When Tonks gave him a look of confusion Sirius leaned in and whispered, “He’s quite a beast in the sack.” Laughing, they entered the Auror’s office together, and didn’t even care about the disapproving glare they got from Scrimgeour.


	14. Chapter 14

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Harry has a dream about Voldemort and finds Sirius and Remus in a compromising position

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So much second-hand embarassmen in this chapter  
> This chapter is really long because it's Christmas, but it's also everything I've written so far, so updates will happen whenever. I don't know.

Remus woke up to the familiar sound of twisting sheets and angry mutterings. “Sirius,” he hissed, shaking his mates shoulder. “Wake up. You’re having a bad dream.” Sirius thrashed over again, wrapping the sheets around his legs again, his back and shoulder shining with sweat, brow crease, lips twitching. He had always been impossible to get up. After some more shaking, Sirius sat up, taking in deep, shuddering breaths. As he let his lungs fill in, Remus rubbed comforting circles on his back. “You’re safe,” he whispered.

Sirius reached out and grasped his free hand, and said, “Time is it?”

Remus glanced over at the digital clock—a muggle invention he would go to his grave defending—and said, “It’s 5:15.”

“Gotta get up in a few hours anyway,” Sirius said, leaning back into the pillows. “You ought to get back to sleep. Full isn’t far off.”

“It’s over a week,” Remus groused, positioning himself to drape over Sirius’ chest. “I’m quite better. I’m worried though. It’s your fourth dream this week. If there’s anything I can do…”

“I just need your cuddles,” Sirius said, wrapping his limbs around Remus. “I’m sorry for waking you up.”

“It’s okay,” Remus sighed, tracing Sirius’ tattoos.

“You should at least try to go back to sleep,” Sirius said, “And then I’ll make you breakfast.”

“I’m not going to fall back asleep,” Remus repeated. “Not now I’m up. And I’d rather be up with you.”

“Oh, would you?” Sirius said, flashing him a mischievous grin. “I can think of some ways to pass the time before we get up. Things to make those dreams go right out of my head.”

“Those sound liked wicked, nasty things,” Remus said, as he felt one of Sirius hands roam across his chest and down to the coarse hair between his legs to grip a quickly hardening cock.

“Completely depraved,” Sirius agreed, rubbing himself on Remus’ hip until the other man took pity on him and took his hand off a very nicely shaped buttock to stroke the leaking prick. Sirius shifted on top of Remus so they could stroke on another, their mouths smashed together, tongues tangled. Remus thought he would never grow tired of running his hands through Sirius’ hair, pulling slightly, constantly marveling at the many wonders of coconut oil. Speaking of oil… He ran his hands up Sirius’ thigh, over his hip then dipped down to the crease between his arse-cheeks to tease at Sirius’ hole. As Sirius groaned into his lover’s mouth and bit Remus’ lip, Remus pulled his hand away from their pricks long enough to grope around on the bedside table for the small jar of lubricant and his wand.

After muttering a hasty silencing spell, Remus coated his fingers and cock in oil and then pushed Sirius’ chest up so he could fully enjoy the view of his mate. In the two months since Sirius had been free he had filled out back into his lithe, muscular body that sometimes Remus swore had to have some veela blood in it. “fuck, you’re gorgeous,” Remus breathed, running a hand down Sirius’ chest, then down, past his balls, along his perineum to rub circles around the tight muscles of his arsehole.

“Ah fuck Moons, that’s good,” Sirius said, throwing his head back and rocking onto Remus’ fingers. When Remus slipped a finger inside him he groaned in pleasure and pumped one hand over his cock, using the other to steady himself against Remus’ chest. By the time Remus was scissoring two fingers in Sirius was whining with pleasure, panting every time his lover hit his prostrate. “Need you,” he gasped. “Need you in me.”

Remus sat up so he could just lick, and then bite at Sirius’ nipple, then said, “Alright then, ride me.” With those words, Sirius shoved him back into the mattress and lowered himself onto Remus’ hard cock, slowly allowing his body to adjust to the burning mix of pleasure and pain, letting out a high pitched whine as he did so.

“You’re so sexy,” Remus sighed, gripping his lover’s hips and arse, guiding him as he rocked back and forth. He laid back for some time, enjoying the sight and sensation of oneness for a while until the jagged breaths and uncontrolled movements told him that Sirius was getting closer. Digging his fingers in deeper, Remus started bucking his hips up, meeting Sirius’ frantic rhythm, so that by the time Sirius came, spasming around him and choking out delicious noises, he was right at the edge. As Sirius pumped out white, milky liquid onto his stomach, Remus felt his own orgasm surge through him, just as he became dimly aware of something else at the other side of the room.

Interrupted by a cry of shock, both men tore their attention away from one another and looked to the door where Harry stood frozen in shock. They stayed that way for one horrible second, all three of them horrified by the situation, and then Remus and Sirius were cursing and scrambling for sheets, while Harry slammed the door and sprinted to the other end of the hall.

“Shit.”

“He saw—”

“Fuck. Fuck, fuck, fuck.”

“We have to talk to him.”

“What are we going to say?”

“What was he doing in here?”

“I don’t know! Must have been important. You know Harry, he wouldn’t just come barging in for no good reason.”

“Just… Shit.”

Dressed and blushing furiously, Remus ran his fingers through his hair nervously and groaned. “We are going to have to talk to him though.”

“I know,” Sirius sighed, looking at the door as if the other side contained a dragon. Granted, he would probably rather take a dragon than his teenage godson who had just seen him shagging, with nothing covering anything. Curses upon Moony and his unnaturally high body heat. Gulping down a large lump in his throat, he opened the door and crossed the hall to Harry’s room, but stopped short before the door and turned to Remus with Padfoot eyes.

“Useless,” Remus groused, then knocked sharply on the door. “Harry,” he said, stumbling a little over his words. “May we come in and talk to you please? We’re sorry you saw that, and we’d like to have a word.” When he received no reply, He tried the door, which wasn’t locked. Harry was presumably under the lump on blankets on his bed, though no part of his body was visible. Remus sighed and pulled up his desk chair, while Sirius summoned the armchair closer.

“I’m sorry,” the lump of blankets said. “I didn’t mean to walk in on you. I didn’t hear anything, so I though you were asleep.”

“It isn’t your fault,” Remus said fairly. “We had silencing spells, so you wouldn’t have heard anything.”

“I’ll just stay in my room,” Harry said.

“What?” Sirius asked. “Why would you do that?”

“Or you could lock up my broom,” Harry suggested. “Just—I really want to go to the World Cup. I’ll—I’ll stay in my room for the rest of my summer if you just let me go to the cup with Ron.”

Seeing Sirius’ expression of fury, Remus’ placed his hand on his mate’s arm and said, “Harry would you please look at us?” The mass of blankets shifted around and a head poked out the top, looking, if possible, more embarrassed than Remus and Sirius. “You are not going to be punished,” Remus said, and watched the range of emotions play out of Harry’s face in response to those words.

“Is that what your Aunt and Uncle did?” Sirius asked, barely able to stay in his seat. When Harry nodded, Sirius surprised everyone in the room, including himself by saying, “My parents used to do that too. It took some time for your dad and Remus here to convince me that it was wrong.” Harry’s head snapped up at that, and he met Sirius’ eyes when he continued, “It was wrong Harry, and it is a big deal. And I will have some words with Dumbledore for letting it happen. I know we haven’t really made any rules for you, but I like to think we wouldn’t punish you unless you did something that could hurt yourself or somebody else. If you need us during the night we absolutely hope you come and get us. Do you understand that?” Harry nodded, his throat feeling very dry, and his eyes uncomfortably prickly, and he could not quite form words at the moment. “Good,” Sirius said.

“Was there something you needed?” Remus asked. “Because normally we would prefer privacy.”

“It’s stupid,” Harry said, looking down at his lap.

“I’m sure it isn’t,” Remus said, frowning. “I know you, and I know you wouldn’t wake us up for nothing. What is it?”

“It was just a dream,” Harry mumbled, refusing to look up from his lap. “But my scar hurt, and that hasn’t happened since Quirrell, so I thought it might be important, but it’s dumb. It was just a dream…”

“If your scar hurt that’s a big deal Harry,” Sirius said, his eyebrows creased. “And it felt exactly the same as it did in your first year?”

“Yeah, I guess?” Harry said with a shrug.

“What do you remember about the dream?” Remus asked.

Harry frowning. He had been so concerned with other things, he had mostly forgotten about the content of the dream. “It had Voldemort in it,” He said. “Do you think that’s all it was? I just dreamed about him and my scar hurt?” He felt very foolish, like all this had happened for no good reason.

“Did your scar hurt during your memories about him when you learned how to fight off Dementors?” Remus asked. “Have you ever dreamed of Voldemort before?”

“No, it didn’t hurt last year,” Harry admitted. “And I’ve dreamed about the green light before, but I don’t know if that counts as dreaming about Voldemort.”

“Then I think there’s a little more to this than just a dream,” Remus said. “But Harry… if all this is is a dream, that’s okay. It’s perfectly alright for you to come and get us to talk about a dream. We’ve both had dreams about past events. I used to dream about the night Greyback attacked me. Sometimes dreams are the only way we can process painful events. But why don’t you finish telling me about it?”

Feeling a little better, Harry tried to remember the pieces of his dreams, but felt like they were slipping through his fingers like sand through a sieve. “He killed somebody. Not my mum—it was different. I didn’t hear her scream like with the Dementors. And there were other people there. I think… Peter was there. Voldemort definitely called him Wormtail.”

Sirius took in a sharp breath, but Remus set aside his feelings for the time being to focus on Harry. “What did his voice sound like? Do you remember seeing anything? Any details?”

“His voice was exactly how I remember it was first year,” Harry answered. “High-pitched, cold. And I remember… the sound of a tea kettle I think? That doesn’t make sense though… and a snake somehow. I don’t know. I just don’t remember. It’s just… you remember the prophecy Trelawney told me last year—that the servant would return to his master—and Peter escaped, and do you think those things I saw are real?”

“I doubt they happened exactly as you saw them. Dreams often reflect our worries and fears. If you expected Peter to return to Voldemort, you were likelier to see that in your sleep,” Remus answered. “But I think your scar is a sign that somebody is messing with dark powers. Dumbledore never believed Voldemort really died that night, so I don’t think we can ignore it either. We’ll speak with Dumbledore about it.”

“Tell us if it happens again,” Sirius instructed. “Day or night. Just… We’ll keep the mirror on the bedside table. Try calling us by mirror first.’

“Right,” Harry said, the blush returning full force.

“Oh, none of that now,” Sirius groaned, “It’s rather rude to act as if it’s something to be ashamed of. Remus and I are adults and we have sex. I’m the one who was walked in on getting fucked in the ass, so the least you can do is look me in the eye. Now I am going to take a shower and then make breakfast, so if you would like me to make bacon all burnt to a crisp the way you like, I suggest you get over yourself.” Sighing dramatically, he flounced out of the room.

Remus groaned and turned to Harry. “I’m sorry, he really doesn’t have any sense of what is and isn’t appropriate to say in front of other people. He’s not angry.”

“It’s okay,” Harry said with a shrug.

“Look, I know, it’s awkward, and it probably doesn’t help that we’re both blokes” Remus said. “But if you have any questions, or concerns, or anything you can ask. I’m not sure what I’m supposed to say, but you can talk about it if you need to, I guess.”

“I don’t want to talk about it ever again,” Harry said emphatically.

“Good,” Remus said, relieved.

“But I really don’t mind, you both being blokes,” Harry said. “I just… I mean you were my teacher, and he’s my godfather. And now you’re… I mean you’re my guardians I guess. It’d be like walking in on your parents having sex. It honestly doesn’t have anything to do with you both being guys. I think the two of you are brilliant together. You’d be brilliant parents. Much better than the Dursleys, and they’re a man and a woman, so that’s just bullshit, that is.”

“Thank you Harry,” Remus said, smiling broadly. “That means a lot.”

 

After a relatively normal, if overly polite breakfast, Harry went outside to skip stones while Remus and Sirius cleared the dishes and debated his dream.

“Do you think it’s possible Voldemort’s taken on some sort of form with Peter’s help?” Sirius asked.

“I suppose it’s an option,” Remus sighed. “But I don’t know if it’s the most likely one. It seems like the most likely scenario for Harry’s mind to construct. Unless he has some sort of seer blood, how could he see real events? As far as I could tell he had no skill in Divination? Not that it’s much of a real subject to begin with, but still… I don’t think we can discount that option though.”

“It unsettles me that we never caught Peter,” Sirius growled. “How he managed to find Voldemort though… And what form could Voldemort possibly take? Pete was good enough at Transfiguration to be an animagus and he could follow instructions to detail. He was good at manipulating people, could tell your mood from a mile away, but nothing likely to return you to a body. I doubt he could catch a unicorn or brew some sort of complex Potion. We have under-estimated him before, though. I don’t know… Maybe he stole something? I could try to see if anything suspicious has happened at work. I doubt Scrimgeour will care about Harry’s dream.”

“I’ll contact Dumbledore,” Remus offered. “And I might try to work with Harry and try to see if he can remember any more of that dream. And I think I might talk to Molly.”

“Molly?” Sirius asked.

“Well, she has seven kids, and I’m sure one of them has walked in on Arthur and her at some point,” Remus explained. “I just don’t want to leave Harry afraid to come get us if he has another dream, or terrified of seeing us going at it every time he opens a door. I think we do a pretty good job of being discreet. Thanks to me I may add.”

“You wound me with your words, Moony,” Sirius said, feigning hurt.

“Who was it who wanted to have a go in the closet for old times’ sake?” Remus questioned.

“That was once,” Sirius insisted. “And we would have had silencing charms and locking charms.”

“And when he saw us coming out together?” Remus asked. “You should go talk to him, by the way.” Sirius looked up to see Harry no longer skipping rocks, but just sitting by the edge of the lake, looking over the water, hugging his knees. “You’re the only one who understand what he went through as a kid.”

“What do I say?” Sirius asked.

“I think just tell him you’ll listen,” Remus suggested. “That you understand, that things will be different now. You’ll know. You did it with me.” Frowning, Sirius accepted two mugs of tea and made his way out to the edge of the lake, to sit next to Harry, why looked at him and forced a wavery smile.

“Where are your thoughts?” Sirius asked, pressing a mug into Harry’s hands. The boy shrugged, and kicked at the pebbles with his trainers, so Sirius continued, “I’m thinking about how much I hate your Aunt and Uncle. And I’m thinking that if you might be thinking about them, and if you wanted to talk about them, rather than think about them, I could listen.”

“What they hated most was the magic,” Harry said at last. When he spoke his voice sounded dead and far away, as if the words were not his. “This one time I accidentally turned my teacher’s hair blue. I thought it was funny. They didn’t. Other than school, I wasn’t allowed out of the cupboard for to weeks. I didn’t get meals except for school lunch. Sometimes they’d let me out to do chores and I’d sneak food out of the trash I’d be so hungry. I couldn’t shower, so the kids at school made fun of me because I smelled funny. I did my best to wash in the school bathroom, but it wasn’t good enough. They didn’t usually hit me, not more than a quick slap really, not really bad enough to hurt, but I never had enough to eat, never had clothes that fit. Not until my Hogwarts uniform.”

“It’s not right, Harry,” Sirius said, shaking his head. “We should have been a family. Well, you should have had your parents in the first place, but you never should have had to go to those people. And you are never going back. Things had always been bad for me at home, but when by parents found out about me and Remus, things got even worse. They hurt me pretty badly, and locked me in my room. Took me a while to escape, and it was your grandfather who came and got me. He had to take me to St. Mungo’s, they’d messed me up so bad. After that, he took me in, and treated me like a second son, no questions asked. Even went back to my house to get me stuff, and my parents were pretty scary people. I’m just trying to say, you’re family has done right by me in the past.”

“What were my grandparents like?” Harry asked.

“They were the best people,” Sirius said, grinning. “They were more like parents than mine ever were. You Grand-dad, Fleamont invented Sleak-eazy’s hair potion, but James refused to use it. Said he liked things wild, as you do evidently. But if you ever wanted to tame it, like you grandfather did, sleak-eazy’s would do the trick. You come from a long line of potions masters, actually, so don’t let Snape make you think you’re hopeless. Fleamont had a strong sense of justice. Served on the wizengamot, and was very active for muggle and muggleborn rights. After he found out about Remus he also spoke out for werewolves, vampires and other similar creatures. Would have joined the Order if he’d lived to.

“Your grandmother was a lovely woman. Another bloody awful name, but Effie is cute for a girl I guess. She was adopted from India, somewhere up north near the mountains. Punjab, I think. She travelled back and learned a lot of traditional magic, like Ayurveda and things with chakras. She could read auras. Remus’ actually changes to red right before he transforms apparently. Things like that. Her cooking was amazing. I should find some recipes. Maybe one summer we’ll go back to India. Anyways, she was very tuned into nature, cooked us weird bread with lots of seeds in it. Also very into rights for muggles, muggleborns, werewolves, everybody. She was so proud when James brought Lily home. She knew we’d both done better than we deserved to be honest. And let me tell you, this one time she got in a duel when she was over eighty, and let me tell you, she took out three Death Eaters, and you would have thought they were bothersome flies. Even served tea afterwards.”

“Did they get killed by Death Eaters?” Harry asked.

“No,” Sirius sighed. “It was Dragon Pox. They were older when James was born. They’d developed so many fertility potions to have a child, but it meant they didn’t survive to meet you.”

“I saw them,” Harry said. “In the mirror of Erised. I saw a whole bunch of relatives. I didn’t even know I had Indian relatives until then, but the Dursleys didn’t really like foreigners. Of all the people to get landed with, it had to be the Dursleys.” Shaking his head, Harry stood up and said, “I think I’m going to go back to bed.”

“Okay kid,” Sirius said. “Just, anytime you want to talk, it doesn’t matter what I’m doing. I’ll drop it and come listen. That’s what the mirror is for.”

“Okay,” Harry said, giving him a half smile. “Thanks.” After a hug, Harry made his way upstairs, and Sirius found Remus in the library.

“How was your talk?” Remus asked.

“I think it went well,” Sirius said. “We talked about the Dursleys, and I told him about my parents, and then I told him stories about his grandparents. I think he’s trusting us more.”

“Good,” Remus sighed. “He said… he said something to me, that we’re almost like his parents basically.”

“Did he?” Sirius asked. “Well, I suppose we sort of are. I mean, James and Lily will always be his parents. Maybe if we’d had him when he was a baby it would have been different, but since we didn’t, it would feel wrong to take that away from them.”

“I think we can be whatever Harry wants us to be,” Remus said. “Whatever he needs us to be. Teenagers need parents too. Or at least parental figures.”

“I suppose they do,” Sirius said. “Does that mean I have to be responsible?”

“You’re more responsible than you think you are,” Remus said.

“Such accusations,” Sirius said. “I’ll have you know I plan on being late to work.”

“Why should you be?” Remus asked, glancing at the clock. “You still have ten minutes.”

“I think I’d like to pay Vernon Dursley a visit.”

 

Vernon was having a good day. The Boy had been gone for two whole months, and there had been no _funny business_ all summer, nothing at all. It was as if the universe in the form of two unkempt outlaws—likely homosexuals according to Petunia—had come with a solution to all their problems. Today he would be introducing himself to a rather large construction company and be explaining to them why exactly his drills would be the right drills for them to order. If all went well, he would make a nice sum of money, come home to just Dudley and Petunia and enjoy the rest of a nice, normal suburban summer. He loved his wife very much, and for her sake had put up with a great deal—the Boy, the flying car, Dudley’s tail, the owls, the letter, the pudding incident—and not thrown the Boy out, but with him gone life was oh so much better. He even smiled at his receptionist. It was so out of character for him that she had been nervously anticipating a proposition for weeks, and had been reading over the company’s sexual harassment protocols, just in case.

So just as he was beginning his presentation on the power of Grunnings drills, Vernon Dursley was certainly not expecting for a familiar dark-haired wizard to come storming in. He was even more put off when the dark-haired former convict marched up to him and planted a powerful left-hook right in between his eyes. Nose gushing blood, Vernon looked up to see Sirius screaming at him, “You locked him in a closet for two weeks for two fucking weeks, and you didn’t give him food. You were supposed to take care of him, but you treated him like he was garbage. He’s your fucking nephew, and you didn’t bother to buy him clothes that fit, or hug him, or let him shower, or tell him the names of his grandparents. He didn’t know his own fucking race. You starved him, and made him expect punishment to things that aren’t his fault. You are filth. You are less than filth. You are Vermin. Vermin Dursley.”

Sirius turned around, as if to leave, then turned back and kicked Vernon, hard, in the balls. Then he left.

 

After several hours of awkward interaction between Remus and Harry, Harry decided to floo over to Ron’s for the afternoon. Remus had just sent off a letter to Dumbledore, explaining Harry’s dream, and came along to the burrow under the pretense of returning a cookbook. He liked the burrow a great deal: everything about it gave him a feeling of having come home. When his mother had been alive, she had always made whatever home they lived in feel like family, in a way he couldn’t describe. Homes like these were well-worn, and carried memories of laughing children, first steps, holidays spent around a tree. He hoped with time, he and Sirius and Harry would have the same thing in their own home.

“Ah, hello dears,” Molly said, turning around the from the kitchen. “Ron’s de-gnoming the garden if you want to go join him Harry dear, though I wouldn’t blame you if you went home and came back later.”

“No, de-gnoming is great,” Harry said, and disappeared out the back door.

“I, uh, brought you this,” Remus said, handing over the cookbook. As soon as Molly took it and returned it to a shelf, Remus glanced around himself and said, in a low voice, “Actually, I was hoping we could maybe have a word. Er, privately.”

“Of course,” Molly said. She led him up the hall and into her bedroom. When she cast an imperturbably charm on the door, the only explanation she offered was, “Fred and George.”

“I see,” Remus said.

“Now what is it?” Molly asked.

“Well, er, this is rather awkward, but this morning Harry sort of walked in on Sirius and I being, well, intimate. And I, uh, we talked to him a little bit about it, but he’s been awkward all day, and I’m not exactly sure what to say to him,” Remus stumbled over his words and ran his hand anxiously through his hair, sure Molly was going to think he was some degenerate who corrupted the Boy-Who-Lived.

“Oh, those things happen,” Molly sighed. “I mean, with us it was when the kids were younger, but Harry will get over it. Sometimes teenagers are awkward or moody or angry and you just have to wait it out a bit. It’s what they do. Sooner or later he’ll understand that you’re people beyond being parental figures to him, and then things will calm down.”

“I suppose it hasn’t been very long,” Remus admitted. “It’s just… well I worry Sirius and I are going to do everything wrong. I mean, we can’t get worse than the Dursleys, but still… I mean, really it was just bad timing. He was, well he wasn’t feeling well so he came into our bedroom at just the wrong time, and I’m afraid we’ve terrified him at this point.”

“I doubt he’s had much exposure to sex in his life,” Molly said. “I mean, I doubt his Aunt and Uncle exactly gave him the talk. It might help if you sat him down and made sure he understands everything. You know how kids are—they get the wrong idea from each other and people will go their whole lives not knowing how to cast a contraceptive charm. He’s fourteen. He’s going to start taking an interest in girls soon.”

“Yes,” Remus said, not commenting on the fact that Harry could just as easily take an interest in boys. “I suppose it wouldn’t hurt to go over some things…”

“Here, I’ll get you some books to use,” Molly offered, and disappeared out the door. As soon as she left, Remus groaned to himself. This would not be a fun conversation.

 

_Dear Remus,_

_Thank you for informing me about Harry’s scar. I do not think he is in any immediate danger, but if at all possible, I would like to speak with you. I will call by floo after dinner tonight._

_Hoping you are well,_

_Albus Dumbledore_

Feeling somewhat relieved, Remus set the note down and returned to the dinner he was preparing. He had just gotten some green beans boiling when he heard Sirius in the floo. He smiled when he felt familiar arms wap around his waist and Sirius’ chin resting on his shoulder. “Where’s Harry?” Sirius asked.

“Upstairs, being sullen like a teenage boy,” Remus answered.

“As is his right,” Sirius said, grinning. “Just think, we get him for the most troublesome, emotional, angry stage in his life. What a joy.”

“Yes, and Molly thinks we need to have the sex talk with him soon,” Remus sighed. “She gave me book, with charts and diagrams and stuff.”

“Naughty diagrams?” Sirius asked, a little too eagerly.

“Educational,” Remus corrected. “And Dumbledore’s coming sometime tonight to talk about Harry’s dream. Did you learn anything useful at work?”

“The only suspicious thing is that Bertha Jorkins has been on holiday a week longer than she was supposed to be. But other than that, no.” Sirius sighed. “I mean, it might be unrelated, but funny disappearances…”

“I know,” Remus said. “It doesn’t feel good.”

 

Dumbledore arrived when most of the dishes were sorted, so Remus and Sirius to finish up while they went into the library with Dumbledore. Knowing just what kind of kids the Marauders had been, Sirius placed an imperturbable spell on the door in case Harry got any ideas.

“Albus, have you any idea what all this means?” Remus asked, sitting on the sofa across from the Headmaster.

“It could mean many things,” Dumbledore commented. “I hope for all of our sakes it is something trivial.”

“His scar only hurt when he was around Quirrell,” Sirius pointed out. “Or rather, a semi-physical form of Lord Voldemort. I doubt it’s trivial.”

“I agree completely, Sirius,” Dumbledore sighed. “I never believed Voldemort truly died, and whatever form his spirit is in, it may be becoming more… active.”

“Do you think he could come back?” Remus breathed. “Back to full power?”

“Anything _could_ happen,” Dumbledore said fairly. “Voldemort sought after immortality by every means, and I believe he set up some… contingency plans in the case that his physical body was killed.”

“Like the diary?” Remus asked.

“Yes, like the diary,” Dumbledore agreed.

“Do you think Peter is involved?” Sirius asked. “He was there in the dream. And we’ve had no leads on his whereabouts.”

“It’s a possibility,” Dumbledore mused. “I suppose he doesn’t remember the dream well?” When Sirius and Remus shook their heads, Dumbledore sighed and said, “If he had, I could have looked it over in the pensieve, but dreams can be misleading. The brain fills in information and forgets vital clues.”

“Albus, is Harry safe?” Sirius asked, looking at Dumbledore intently. “I’ve heard about the tri-wizard tournament, and Karkarof was a Death Eater, we all know it.”

“Harry will be safe at Hogwarts,” Dumbledore stated.

“Due respect, Headmaster,” Remus said. “But you hid the sorcorer’s stone in Hogwarts, and that drew Voldemort to the castle. Harry’s already fought a troll and a basilisk, and he narrowly escaped from Acromantulas. Sirius also got onto the campus, and he was the most wanted man in Britain, and that was without any help from the inside. With all these new people coming to Hogwarts for the tournament, we need to know if we should be taking extra precautions with Harry.”

“Well, I always wanted him to stay with his Aunt and Uncle,” Dumbledore said pointedly.

“That’s beside the point,” Sirius said. “Harry has never been endangered during the summer, except by the people who were supposed to be caring for him. While at school, he’s been in danger consistently. I’m sorry if we can’t take your word for the safety of the school.”

Sirius was glaring intently at the older man, who sighed and said, “I assure you, Harry will be safe. Alastor has agreed to take on the post of Defense Against the Dark Arts for the year, and he will be paying close attention to Harry.”

“Alastor is teaching?” Sirius asked, then chuckled. “That ought to be good.”

“It does make me feel better,” Remus admitted. Moody was cautious to the point of paranoia, but it would likely keep Harry safe. “And if anybody notices anything strange at all, you will tell us, won’t you?”

“Of course,” Dumbledore said, but Remus was not re-assured, and could tell from his mate’s body language that Sirius wasn’t either.

As soon as Dumbledore had returned to Hogwarts, the Sirius turned to Remus and stated, “he’s hiding something.”

“Not here,” Remus said, glancing around, very aware of the fact Harry could very well be listening. He pulled Sirius back into the library. As soon as they were safe from listening ears, Remus said, “We’re going to have to figure this out for ourselves if at all. You know how Dumbledore was last time. Everything was secrets and only what you needed to know in case you were a spy or got tortured. It’s not going to be like that this time, not if it involves our… not if it involves Harry.”

“We know that Voldemort did something to keep himself immortal, and we know that Harry’s scar is some sort of connection to Voldemort,” Sirius mused. “And we know Peter’s out there, and nobody knows what he’s up to, but in Harry’s dream he was with Voldemort.”

“I’ll read anything I can on magical wounds and ways of coming back from the dead,” Remus suggested. “In the meantime, we just need to focus on keeping Harry safe. Maybe—do you think the World Cup will be safe?”

“It’s so important for him to go,” Sirius sighed. “Quidditch is the only time he really gets to be a kid. And Arthur’s capable. I could get us tickets if you really think—”

“It’ll probably be fine,” Remus insisted. He knew Sirius was nervous about such big crowds, and didn’t like the idea of leaving Sirius alone either. “Harry should get to be a teenager too. Keeping him in this house won’t be good for him either. Even with people who love you, a home can be a prison too.” Sirius gave a weak smile and wrapped his arms around Remus’ waist, then rested his head on his lover’s shoulder. After a few moments of just breathing in Sirius’ scent, Remus muttered, “besides, I doubt Harry wants us old folks breathing down his neck.”

“When did we get old, Moony?” Sirius asked. “Nobody asked for my opinion, and I’m generally against the idea.”

Remus chuckled and ran his fingers through Sirius’ hair, then said “I don’t mind it as long as it’s you I’m growing old with.”


	15. Chapter 15

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Sirius and Remus give Harry the sex talk, and then have a talk about their future

Saturday afternoon, when Sirius was not working, Remus and Sirius called Harry into the library for “the talk.”

“Do we really have to do this?” Harry asked, blushing furiously. “I know where babies come from.”

“Yes, but sometimes sex and making babies are two separate things,” Sirius pointed out. “Actually most of the times they are separate. That, or Moony and I have been very confused for a very long time.”

“The point is,” Remus interrupted, “that you are getting to the age where you need to know the facts. This book outlines the basics, and you should take it to school with you.”

“Rights,” Harry said, took the book, and sat down.

“Alright then,” Remus said, feeling very self-conscious. “So, in the last few years, you body has been changing into an adult body. You’re probably getting hair in new places, and your voice is changing and you’re going to get taller. You’ll also start sweating more and you might get acne. Most body changes are normal, but if anything is painful or doesn’t feel right, you can talk to one of us, or Madame Pomfrey. You’ve probably been through most of this by now, but puberty is a process over many years.” Remus paused to glance down at his notes, trying to treat this like any other lecture. “You’ll also start noticing changes sexually. You might start being attracted to other people, or feel sexually aroused more often. If you aren’t interested in sex, or you aren’t attracted to anybody sexually or romantically, that’s fine too. Plenty of people are asexual. In that case, you would just have to make sure you aren’t in situations or relationships you don’t want to be in. You should never do something sexual if you or your partner isn’t completely comfortable with it.

“If you _are_ attracted to other people, you might be straight, which means you are always, or mostly attracted to the opposite sex. If you’re gay, then you would be always, or mostly attracted to the same sex. And if you’re attracted to both, then you’re bisexual.”

“Wait, that’s a thing?” Harry asked, looking up at Remus with surprise.

“Yes,” Sirius said. “Bisexuality is a thing. This is exactly why we’re having this talk.”

“Oh,” Harry said. “I always figured you just had to choose one or the other.”

“No, it’s not like that,” Remus explained. “And it isn’t really a choice. Lots of people can have feelings for people of any gender. It’s just the way you can be attracted to people with blue eyes or people with brown eyes. Even if you have a slight preference, you might date one or the other, and even if you’re dating a person with blue eyes, that doesn’t mean you’ve stopped liking brown eyes. You aren’t defined by your partner.”

“Okay,” Harry said, nodding. Remus exchanged a glance with Sirius, wondering if they should tell Harry that Lily had been in a relationship with Dorcas Meadowes before she went out with James. Deciding that might be a conversation for later, they carried on.

“Right,” Sirius said. “My turn. If you decide you’re ready to have sex, with a boy or a girl, then there are certain measures you have to take. First of all, both of you should feel comfortable with anything you’re about to do. You should never pressure somebody into a situation, or let yourself be pressured. Both partners should clearly say yes to anything you do. If you’re having sex with a person with a uterus, there is a risk of pregnancy. Either one of you can take a potion to prevent against pregnancy. Madame Pomfrey will give it to students for free, and if you don’t feel comfortable going to her, we can give you money to get it somewhere else. It’s important to know that what you’re getting is made right, and that you or your partner takes it once a month. In the case of an unplanned pregnancy, there are potions to end the pregnancy, but these are more controversial. Some people think it’s like killing the fetus. Personally, I feel that the pregnant person has a right to end the pregnancy, and so does Remus. If you accidentally get somebody pregnant, we hope you tell us, and we’ll deal with it together. If, for some reason you can’t or don’t want to talk to us, healers at St. Mungo’s can end a pregnancy. Do you have any questions?”

Harry shook his head, so Sirius continued, “No matter what parts your partner has, you can get certain infections from having sex, including oral sex. Birth control potions won’t help prevent those. Most are treatable, but some aren’t. Magic doesn’t undo everything, so it’s important to use protection. You can use condoms, just like the ones muggles use, or you can use a contraceptive charm, which creates a barrier. It’s best to practice that by yourself first before you use it with anybody else, though it’s a simple charm. Both of these also prevent pregnancy, unless you fuck it up somehow. There’s also a charm to lubricate things, so nobody gets hurt. All of that should be in your book. Does all that make sense?”

“Right then,” Remus said, when Harry nodded. “There’s also gender identity. Usually, when a baby is born, the healer, or the parents assign a gender based on genitals. For most people, that ends up being the gender they identify as. But, for a lot of people, their gender isn’t the one they were given, which is perfectly normal, and should always be respected. Some people are born with a penis, but feel like a girl, some people are born with a vagina and feel like a boy, and some people don’t feel like either. People who identify as a gender other than the one they were born with are transgender. There are potions and spells that can change a person’s genitals, but they’re expensive, so many people who want them can’t afford them. And, some transgender people don’t want to change there bodies, or only want to change certain parts. What somebody has under their clothes isn’t really your business unless you’re going to have sex with them. If somebody tells you what gender they identify as, that’s how you should refer to them.”

“Is that common?” Harry asked. “I’ve never met anybody who’s like that.”

“You met Emmeline Vance,” Sirius said. “She’s transgender, and she’s out, so I know she wouldn’t mind me telling you that. That’s another thing. In the wizarding world, there’s still a lot of prejudice against being transgender, or being gay, and not everybody wants people to know. Remus and I are only out to close friends because it can be dangerous once people find out, especially for Remus, since he’s a werewolf and people already are prejudiced against him. If somebody tells you about their sexual orientation or gender identity, it’s important that you don’t tell anybody else, unless you are given permission. Now, we don’t mind Ron or Hermione knowing about our relationship, but other students might not be so accepting. Coming out is very personal, and nobody should have to do it if they don’t want to.” Turning to Remus, Sirius asked “is that all?”

“Diagrams,” Remus cried, almost having forgotten about those. “Here,” he said, pushing to drawings towards Harry, who blushed furiously. “Well, it’s labeled and everything for you. Also, girls don’t pee out of their vaginas, no matter what anybody might tell you. There’s a second hole.”

“I see that,” Harry said, and rubbed at his neck, wishing very much he could just go back to his room.

“Right, well that’s it I think,” Remus said. “If you have any questions, feel free to ask us, and we’ll do our best to answer accurately.”

“Yeah, Moony’s only read about twenty books on the subject,” Sirius commented.

“I did get a rather odd look at Flourish and Blotts,” Remus admitted. “But it’s important.”

“Yeah, thanks,” Harry said. “Can I go now?”

“Yes, you may,” Remus said, feeling very much like he was dismissing a student from detention. Harry smiled weakly and disappeared up to his bedroom.

“I reckon James got off easy on that,” Sirius commented as soon as the teenager was gone. “At least it’s good practice for if we have one of our own.” Remus froze, midway through putting away a book, nearly dropping one of them. “Or maybe not then,” Sirius said, disappointment evident in his voice.

“No,” Remus said, turning back to face his mate. “It’s not that I don’t want kids, it’s just, given what I am, I just don’t know it’s the best idea.”

“Why would your condition make a difference?” Sirius asked, crossing his arms. “You were always good with kids. Lily trusted you with Harry more than she trusted James half the time. And it’s not like there’d be a chance of passing anything on.”

“You know what people think of me,” Remus snapped. “Bringing a child into that… it’s irresponsible.”

Sirius groaned loudly and took Remus’ hand. “Would you stop being so self-deprecating? If we got a kid, you would make them feel loved, and that’s all that matters.”

“It’s not always enough,” Remus countered, pulling his hand away. “Living with that stigma, having a werewolf for a father… You’re an adult, and you knew what you were getting into when you got into this relationship. What could happen if anybody finds out. A child wouldn’t have a choice. Besides, nobody would give me their child. Any mother would consider her child better off dead, so it isn’t worth discussing.”

“Remus…” Sirius tried to say.

“Let’s just be happy to have Harry, alright?” Remus sighed, rubbing at his temples. He hated fighting with Sirius, and just wanted to leave the whole subject well alone. Remus flinched slightly when he felt Sirius’ hand on his arm, and avoided his lover’s eyes.

“We’ll talk about this later,” Sirius said, getting only a groan in reply.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm also on tumblr, btw. I'm http://follow-the-bvtterflies.tumblr.com/ if you want to talk to me or whatever


	16. Chapter 16

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Mayhem at the World Cup; Hermione and Remus have a chat about House Elves and Werewolves.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> It's really awkward writing scenes that are almost the same as they were in the books, because I don't want to just copy the whole book, and I want to save time/space, but sorry if it comes across weird. I'm always open to suggestions.

The Quidditch World cup took place the day after a full moon, so Remus was already asleep, head on Sirius’ lap when Scrimgeour’s patronus came. Rubbing his eyes, Remus barely processed the words “Death Eaters…. Quidditch World cup… Muggle family… come immediately.” As soon as the silver hawk disappeared, its words sunk in and Remus was on his feet.

“Harry,” he stated, looking for his wand and clothes.

“I’ve got to go,” Sirius said, scrambling to find shoes. “You stay here. You need to rest.”

“Like hell I will,” Remus said. “You’ll be tied up with the Death Eaters. I need to find out if Harry is safe. If Peter is involved in this…”

“Remus, it’s less than a day since the full,” Sirius pleaded. “Please, I’ll find Harry.”

“I’m going either way,” Remus stated. “If you want me home sooner, give me the mirror. The sooner I find Harry, the sooner I can take him home.”

“I—fine,” Sirius said, and tossed Remus the mirror, took his hand, and disapparated. As soon as they arrived, they only had time to exchange a few words before they were torn apart by the crowd. Remus pushed his way through running witches and wizards, glancing up only long enough to understand that it was a family of muggles being levitated, and pulled out the mirror.

“Harry,” he called, but there was no response. No doubt, with the chaos Harry couldn’t hear him.

He tried again, calling Harry’s name until at last he heard a reply. “Remus?”

“Harry,” Remus said, holding the mirror closer to his face so he could get a better look at the familiar face. “Where are you? Who are you with?”

“I’m with Hermione and Ron, and we’re in the woods,” Harry said. “Mr. Weasley told us to wait for him here. But I—hold on someone’s here… it’s just Winky.”

“Winky?” Remus demanded, jogging in what he hoped was the direction of the trees. He needed to get a look at them for a reference to apparate towards.

“Bary Crouch’s house elf,” Hermione’s voice explained. “And oh—it’s somebody else.”

“Listen to me,” Remus demanded. “I’m going to come find you. Stay exactly where you are. Harry?” he overheard somebody say something about a broomstick and Jupiter, and then Harry’s face re-appeared.

“We’ve found a clearing,” Harry said. “I think we’re alone, but we’re pretty deep in the forest. And—oh. It’s just Ludo Bagman.” Remus cursed and tried to get towards woods as he half listened to the conversation between Bagman and the kids, until the conversation lapsed into idle talk about Quidditch. When he found the woods at last, he apparated to the edge of the woods and pulled the mirror out again. “Harry,” he said. “I want you to point your wand in the air and let out red sparks. Then I can apparate to where you are.”

“Okay,” Harry said, and when Remus looked up he saw the red sparks, and then, not a second later, a sight that chilled him to the bone. It was the Dark Mark, just feet away from where Harry’s sparks had been.

“HARRY,” Remus shouted into the mirror as he apparated, not caring that he could very well apparate right onto a Death Eater. All that mattered was that he had to get between Harry and whoever was out there. When he re-apparated, he was in a clearing, and he quickly found the three teens he was looking for. As Harry asked what the sign was, Remus sprinted across the clearing to pull all three kids closer to him. “Listen, Harry, that is the Dark Mark,” Remus hissed. “It was Voldemort’s symbol, and it means you have to stick with me. I’m not strong enough to apparate with all three of you right now, so we’re going to—” Remus cut himself off at the telltale crack of wizards apparating. Without even thinking about it, Remus pushed the kids to the ground and put up a hasty shield charm, only seconds before about twenty stunners flew right at him.

Looking up, Remus realized he had been knocked to the ground by the force of the stunning spells, and then saw two figures pushing the rest out of the way. Sirius cried out, “Harry? Remus? Stop firing. STOP IT!” at the same time that Mr. Weasley screamed “ _Stop!_ That’s my son.”

Remus felt his head spin slightly, as Barty Crouch ran at him, demanding to know who had summoned the Mark, while Harry and Ron insisted that neither of them had had anything to do with it. Remus tried to push himself to a standing position when he felt a steadying hand on his arm, pulling him up. Sirius was behind him, one arm around Harry’s shoulder, the other helping Remus to his feet. Hermione had just told Crouch where the voice had come from when Crouch seemed to notice Remus. “What are _you_ doing here?” He demanded, turning on Remus.

“Crouch, he came with me,” Sirius said, pulling Remus even closer to him. “He went to find Harry.”

“Yeah, and he was with us right after the Dark Mark went up,” Ron piped up.

“And where was he when the Mark appeared?” Scrimgeour demanded.

“I’m no Death Eater,” Remus gasped, seriously exhausted from the night’s ordeal. “I don’t have the Mark.”

Remus had just started to pull up his sleeve when Scrimgeour scoffed, “Yes, well He-Who-Must-No-Be-Named doesn’t exactly let _werewolves_ take the Mark, now does he? So if nobody saw you when the mark was summoned…”

“He was talking to me,” Harry said, holding up his mirror. “Through this.”

“We would have heard him use any incantation,” Hermione pointed out. “We heard him the entire time.”

“What’s this?” Crouch demanded, seizing the mirror.

“Two-way mirrors,” Sirius explained, grabbing it back. “They’re mine. Harry has one, and I gave Remus the other, so he could find Harry. If both were active, which Hermione has just said they were, then they would have heard Remus use any incantations, which he didn’t. So, the person who _did_ cast the spell is in that direction, where the kids heard it coming from.” As soon as Sirius spoke, Amos Diggory headed off into the woods, but neither Crouch nor Scrimgeour looked convinced—not until Diggory returned with Winky the House Elf, that is. While most eyes were focused on the elf, Remus checked to make sure none of the teenagers were hurt.

In the debacle that followed, accusations flew in every direction, from Harry to Winky, to Crouch, until Mr. Weasley suggested that Winky had picked up Harry’s wand after the original caster had discarded it. After Crouch had promised to sack his elf, he turned back to Remus, spit flying as he said, “I’m still not sure it’s a coincidence that a Dark Creature appeared so close to where the dark Mark was summoned. I want him questioned.”

“You have mine and Harry’s word that Remus had nothing to do with the Mark,” Sirius countered. “If you are questioning him, you are questioning me and Harry, and we have proved just as much as you have exactly how much we detest the Dark Arts. I can confidently say that Remus Lupin would be the last man to conjure the Dark Mark. I’m sure you wouldn’t like to make any more wrongful arrests.”

“Fine,” Crouch barked, then spun on the spot, calling over his shoulder, “Winky! Come.” When he left, the crowd kept muttering, and glaring at Remus, but Sirius turned to Scrimgeour.

“I’d like to take Harry home now,” He said. “And Hermione, I think you ought to come with us, given tonight’s events.” Arthur and Hermione nodded at this, so Sirius continued. “Once the kids are safe, I can return.”

“That won’t be necessary,” Scrimgeour said, but his eyes were still trained on Remus. “I’m sure the rest of us can handle this while you go home with you _friend._ ”

Sirius glared at his boss, but couldn’t say much more in front of the crowd of Ministry witches and wizards. “Arthur, I’ll get in touch with you tomorrow,” Sirius said, then turned to Remus. “Can you take Harry back to the park entrance. I’ll take Hermione. I’ll met you there and get you past security. Are you strong enough?”

“Yes,” Remus said, grabbing Harry’s arms. It took his last reserves of strength to get to the edge of the park, and past Ministry Security. Sirius quickly got his hands on an emergency Portkey, and got them just outside their houses’ wards.

“You go back to bed,” Sirius ordered Remus. “I’ll take care of Harry and Hermione.”

“Sirius—” Remus started to say, not sure how to process the green skull he hadn’t seen in thirteen years.

“We’ll talk in the morning,” Sirius insisted. “Harry, take Hermione to the kitchen. I’m sure we could all do with a cup of tea.” Before Remus could protest, Sirius was half-dragging him to the bedroom, where Remus pulled off his shoes and collapsed into bed. He barely felt Sirius pulling a blanket over him before he passed out.

 

As soon as Remus woke up he wished he hadn’t. His body was sore all over, and exhaustion pushed down on him like a heavy weight. He was about to roll over and go back to sleep when he realized what had gotten him up in the first place: food. Groaning in pain, Remus cracked an eye open and forced himself into a sitting position. “I didn’t want to wake you, but you need to eat,” Sirius said, sitting on the side of the bed with a plate of sandwiches.

“Thanks,” Remus said, and stood up to wash his face. When he did so, he caught his reflection in the mirror. He looked terrible. There was a reason he wasn’t supposed to push himself too far after full moons, and now he would probably be feeling horrible for days. “How are the kids?” Remus asked when he returned and brought the sandwiches to the table by the window.

“They were shaken up at first,” Sirius said. “Harry didn’t know what the Dark Mark even was, but Hermione had read about it.”

“Of course,” Remus said with a chuckle. “Not sure there’s a book Hermione hasn’t read.”

“Yes, but neither of them really understood,” Sirius said. “And I think Hermione was more shaken than she let on. She’s like you: when she’s scared she turns to books to explain everything. And Harry was worried too, for her mostly. We haven’t seen chaos like that since, well, since last time. I should have gone with Harry. I never felt good about letting him go without one of us.”

Remus reached out to grip Sirius’ hand and said, “There’s nothing you could have done that Arthur didn’t do. The thing about Harry is he seems to attract trouble like this. I think being his guardians we may have to adjust to the fact that we can never completely guarantee his safety. We can only do our best, but let him live his life as well. I’m sure he doesn’t want his guardians to follow him everywhere.”

“Yes, but still,” Sirius said, his voice pained.

“You can’t go finding a reason to blame yourself every time something bad happens,” Remus reasoned.

Sirius laughed. “I’ll stop blaming myself for everything just as soon as you do,” He offered.

“Now, that’s another story entirely,” Remus joked. “But tell me, did you catch anybody?”

“Nah,” Sirius sighed. “We were close, but they left as soon as they saw the Mark, and so did we. We were all worried about a killing. Of course, the muggles are fine. We think the Death Eaters were just having their idea of a good time—no idea Lucius was one of them—but got scared off by the Mark. Voldemort’s supporters in Azkaban—his “true” supporters—have it out for anybody who escaped the place. I don’t think anybody bold enough to cast the mark would have a high opinion of those people levitating muggles. Anyways, Scrimgeour wants me back in, but I stayed behind with you and the kids. I don’t want Harry alone, so until you’re feeling better, I’m staying with him. Scrimgeour also wants you to give an official statement when you’re well enough. He’s really just being careful—he knows you didn’t cast the mark—but he might not be pleasant.”

“I can handle Scrimgeour,” Remus said. “I’ll head in to the Ministry with you tomorrow. We can take Harry.”

“Ah, yes,” Sirius said. “Ron and Hermione are spending the rest of break here as well. They were going to be together at the Burrow, but I wanted Harry here, as we have more wards, and nobody knows where this place is. Still, figured we shouldn’t take away their holiday.”

“That’s good,” Remus agreed. “I take it you owled the Grangers?”

“Of course,” Sirius said. “We put Hermione up in the guest room, and Ron’s in Harry’s room. I’ll warn you, Hermione is likely to ask you a thousand questions about Elf rights. Seeing Winky set her off, and she is indignant with the way Crouch treated Winky. I wish Kreacher was still around. One look at him, and I doubt she’d care so much. But he’s probably rotting away in Grimmauld Place.”

“Are you ever going to go there?” Remus asked.

“No,” Sirius said firmly. “I’d love to burn the place down, but as it is, I’m staying well enough away.”

“I don’t blame you,” Remus yawned. “Maybe once we’re settled here you could sell it?”

“Can’t,” Sirius said. “It has to stay in the family, there are wards to secure that. I’m not even sure if Harry could inherit it, but maybe as I’m his godfather… Anyway, I doubt Andromeda would want it, but maybe Narcissa needs a second home.”

“Maybe,” Remus said. “I’m feeling well enough that if you need to go to work, I can manage here, at least for the afternoon.”

“Scrimgeour’s already upset at me for missing the morning, may as well take the whole day off,” Sirius commented.

“I don’t understand the way your brain works,” Remus said as he got dressed. “But you may as well enjoy your time with Harry.” They walked downstairs together, dishes in tow, to see Harry, Ron and Hermione sitting by the edge of the lake in bathing suits, enjoying the sun. “He’s chosen good friends,” Remus commented.

 

Later that afternoon, when the boys were out playing quidditch, Hermione tracked Remus down in the library, where he was reading about raising unicorns and sipping a cup of tea. “Do you have any books on—”

“House elves?” Remus finished, hazarding a guess that she had entered the book phase of her outrage.

“Yes,” Hermione said. “I checked _Hogwarts: A History_ and they are completely left out,” she huffed. “It’s complete erasure of the school being founded on slave labor. I didn’t even know they were _there_ until Sirius told me.”

“Yes, well unfortunately if you want to know about house elves, there aren’t too many books,” Remus mused. “I have plenty of general books on Magical Creatures. I’m sure you’ve checked _Fantastic Beasts and Where to Find Them._ ” When Hermione nodded, Remus continued to peruse, then pulled out a few books. “Most of these I’ve only read the sections on werewolves, but I only bought the ones that bothered with some factual basis, so I would hope the same would be true for elves. The Ministry classifies elves as “beings” and I have a few lawbooks about the history of the Department for the Control and Regulation of Magical Creatures, but it is rather biased. For all the laws they like to make about us, they do very little in the way of research, and there is a lot of misinformation spread, even by so-called experts.” Remus handed Hermione a small stack of books with a smile, then added, “The best place to get information is the Hogwarts kitchens of course. They’re under the Great Hall, and you just have to tickle the painting of the pear to get in. I’m sure the elves can tell you a fair bit from their own lore.”

“Thank you,” Hermione said, smiling at him. She turned around to leave, but paused at the door and said, “Can I ask you a question?”

“Of course,” Remus said.

“Is the whole thing about silver true about werewolves?” Hermione asked. “Can it actually hurt you?”

“No,” Remus answered. “That’s only true for vampires. Silver is actually an essential ingredient in a poultice to close wounds from werewolf bites or scratches. Silver and dittany will close wounds, while no other spell or potion will. But I can eat with silverware just as well as anybody else.”

“You should write a book,” Hermione suggested. “So that people can know what werewolves are actually like, and you can dispel common misconceptions. And I think people would actually read it.” Hermione flushed after she finished speaking, then added. “At least, I would read it.”

“That’s very kind of you,” Remus said, smiling at her. “And it’s a good idea too. I’ll consider it.” He said it at first just to be kind of her, but when she disappeared upstairs with a tower of books, Remus wondered how many times he had despaired at the lack of accurate literature about werewolves. He had always thought somebody should write one, but of all werewolves, he was probably the only one to do it. He was already publicly known to be a werewolf, and had the resources through Sirius that he wouldn’t risk the loss of a job or income. He knew very few other werewolves, but with the help of the werewolf registry, he was sure word could spread, and he hoped the other werewolves in Britain would be interested in sharing their knowledge. What was he really going to do with himself once Harry went to school anyways? Sit around and wait for Sirius to come home very day? Read every book in the world?An if he could possibly make life a little easier for himself and anybody who shared his disease… that was a nice thought.


	17. Chapter 17

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Rita Skeeter causes trouble, Sirius has trouble with a storm

After a day out in muggle London that included pizza and a trip to the cinema, Remus and Sirius took Harry, Ron and Hermione to Diagon Alley for last minute school shopping. “Alright,” Sirius said before heading into the Leaky Cauldron, “We’re sticking together, heading to Fourish and Blotts, the apothecary, then Madame Malkins. Ron, Hermione, do you have dress robes?”

“I do,” Hermione said. My mum got them with me before I went to the Weasleys’.”

“Why do we need dress robes?” Harry asked, thinking to Sirius’ heavily embroidered, velvet robes.

“They don’t all look like Sirius’,” Remus mentioned, soothing some of Harry’s anxiety.

“What does that mean?” Sirius demanded, feigning a hurt expression.

“What I mean, is that your dress robes look like they’re straight from the 1840s,” Remus said. “Velvet and lace is a bit much, but no, you had to have everything.”

“Not everybody can be a minimalist,” Sirius huffed. “Now why don’t we start with books?” Once school books were bought, Hermione stayed behind in Flourish and Blotts, nose buried in a book about House Elves, while the boys went over to Madame Malkin’s. “Do you reckon one of us should stay back with her?” Sirius murmured, walking up beside Remus.

“The manager will keep an eye on her,” Remus assured his nervous mate. After a pause, he leaned in towards Sirius and whispered, “Look, I don’t think Ron has much money left over for dress robes, so just try not to draw too much attention to it. We may have to bring him somewhere else to get them second hand.”

Sirius frowned, but nodded, as he led the to boys into Madame Malkins. While Harry got measured, Ron drifted over to the pre-made robes. Remus recognized the look on his face as he checked each tag, which was undoubtedly far more than he had left in his pocket. “Ron,” Remus said quietly, walking up to the boy. “Would you rather look for robes somewhere else?”

“I—yes,” Ron said, flushing.

“Sirius, we’ll be just down the street,” Remus called as he left with Ron. Harry frowned, but waved at Ron, earning himself a scolding from Madame Malkin for interfering with her measurements.

“I’m sure you’ll find something just as good second-hand,” Remus said. When they entered the store, Ron found the sets of robes in his size, but kept glancing at the tag, frowning, and putting the robes back on the rack. When he had gotten to the end, he pulled out a pair of horrid, maroon robes with truly awful lace. He looked like he might vomit. “You can’t wear that,” Reamus stated, taking the robes from him.

“I only have few sickles,” Ron admitted.

“Come this way,” Remus said, and pulled Ron in the direction of the largest sets of robes. He knew Ron would never accept it if Remus offered to buy his robes, not unless he could pass it off as a birthday or Christmas present, so he found a set of large, sapphire-blue robes, with a truly unfortunate yellow trim that had been marked down quite a bit. “This color will look good on you,” Remus said. “I’ll show you how to take it in and get this of this horrible yellow. I have gotten quite handy with a needle over the years.” Ron gave an expression of relief. He even had enough money left over to buy a silver clasp, and the two of them left the store and made their way back onto the main street to meet up with Harry and Sirius.

Remus swore when he saw the Rita Skeeter had cornered Harry and Sirius, camera-man in tow. Knowing his presence would only bring more controversy, Remus went to get Hermione, and then got close enough to make eye contact with Sirius and hear his say, “the only statement I have for you is to leave us well enough alone.” Grabbing Harry’s arm, Sirius pushed Skeeter aside, and joined Remus, Ron and Hermione to walk in the direction of the Leaky Cauldron. “Asking me about the incident in at the World Cup,” Sirius grumbled. “She’s been spreading ridiculous rumors about bodies being pulled out of the woods, and she still wants a family interview between me and Harry.”

Remus could hear the clicking of a camera behind him and resisted the urge not to turn around as he hissed back, “Maybe you should just talk to her. Without Harry, of course, but give her the escaped convict sob story. It’ll sell well, and she’ll probably leave you alone.”

“I don’t think she will,” Sirius groaned, chancing a glance over his shoulder. “Well,” he said, turning back to the kids, “Let’s get back home. She can’t find us there.”

 

September first came quickly, and the morning found the two boys frantically searching for last minute items as Hermione stood at the door, her bags packed, tapping her foot. As Sirius could only really drive a motorbike, Remus ignored his assertions that a car really couldn’t be that different, and took the wheel of a rented Ministry car. The ride took several hours, but most of the passengers slept through it, and Remus had a Beatles cassette to keep himself company. When he pulled into King’s Cross Station, with not five minutes to spare, Sirius had just yawned and started stretching like a cat.

“I think I’d better not go in with you,” Remus said. “Angry parents and all.”

“Alright,” Sirius said, squeezed Remus’ hand, then hopped out of the car. Remus helped him with the trunk, and one the luggage and pets were on carts, Remus returned to the car to wait for Sirius. Some time later, Sirius emerged, looking very harried, and with a groan, Remus realized why. Running ten feet behind Sirius, magenta heels clacking on the cement, was Rita Skeeter, parchment and quick quotes quill trailing behind her.

“Drive,” Sirius said, as soon as he jumped into the passenger’s seat, but Skeeter was blocking the car with her body.

“And who are you? Oh yes, Remus Lupin, werewolf. Am I to assume Mister Black here has employed you as his chauffer? Valet? You are old school friends, if my sources are correct.”

“Don’t,” Remus moaned, as Sirius rolled down his window, but it was too late.

“Fuck off,” Sirius shouted, just as Remus started the car in reverse, and took off, swerving around Rita Skeeter. “Mental, that one,” Sirius grumbled.

“Well, did the kids get off alright, at least?” Remus asked, once they were well rid of Skeeter.

“Huh—oh, yeah, they did,” Sirius said, then grinned. “You know, tonight they’re going to be hearing about the tri-wizard tournament. I wish that had happened when we were in school.”

“You and James would have entered, whether or not you were seventeen,” Remus pointed out, chuckling. “Harry’s smarter than that.”

“Yes, well I think we’d have been excellent champions,” Sirius preened. “You would’ve been alright too, I suppose.”

Remus reached out, to punch Sirius lightly on the arm, then said, “Well, I’m surprised you managed to keep your mouth shut about it. I half expected you to be helping Harry brew aging potions.”

“No, to be honest I’m quite relieved Harry’s too young to enter,” Sirius admitted. “I mean, it would have been fun to watch, but those tasks sound dangerous. They’re importing dragons, and Hagrid’s been given the green light to breed his own creatures, and frankly I’m not sure which one is more frightening.”

“There’s precedent for defeating dragons,” Remus stated. “And then there’s the one Dumbledore’s planning.”

“So basically mind games and trust issues?” Sirius quipped, earning himself a glare. “This year should be fun for him though,” Sirius said. “No stone hidden in the castle, no giant snake, no escaped convicts…”

“You know, you really didn’t have to stand over Ron’s bed with a knife,” Remus pointed out. “Or slash the Fat Lady. What were you trying to accomplish exactly? And she’d always been so nice to you.”

“I was unhinged,” Sirius sniffed.

“You’re a drama queen, is what you are,” Remus muttered.

“But you love me,” Sirius insisted.

“Yes, I suppose I do,” Remus admitted, smiling over his shoulder at his mate.

“You know…” Sirius said slowly. “Now that Harry’s off at school, we don’t have to be careful anymore.”

“What do you mean by that?” Remus asked, doing his best to act impassive.

“What I mean,” Sirius said, sliding his hand up Remus’ thigh. “Is that as soon as we get home, you can have me anyway you want, anywhere you want. You can bend me over the kitchen table, and make me scream your name as loud as you like.”

“I think,” Remus said, trying to focus on the road, and not where Sirius’ hand was wandering, “I think that sounds like a definite advantage.”

 

As the night drew on, and the weather worsened, so did Sirius’ mood. Remus was unsure whether is was the gathering storm, or Harry’s absence, but no amount of cuddling, baths, or tea seemed to keep Sirius’ trembling at bay. Around dinner time, Remus swore loudly when he went to the kitchen to find the pantry and refrigerator all but empty. He had forgotten just how much teenagers ate. “I’m going to have to go out for food,” He said to Sirius, who has just slunk into the kitchen behind him. Sirius only shrugged. “Are you going to be okay while I’m gone?” Remus asked, reaching out to stroke Sirius’ cheek. “I’m worried about you.”

“I’ll be fine,” Sirius mumbled.

“Okay,” Remus sighed, then leaned forward to kiss Sirius on the forehead. “I’ll be quick. Any requests?” When Sirius just shrugged again, Remus squeezed his shoulder, then disappeared through the grate. He tried to get in and out of Diagon Alley as quickly as possible, as he didn’t have time to go to gringotts and exchange galleons for muggle money, but the first vendor he went to refused to sell to him and the next made a show of giving him the slowest service possible. By the time he finished, nearly forty minutes had passed, and a storm was going in earnest. Soaking wet and cursing, Remus rushed back home, where Sirius was nowhere to be seen. Leaving the groceries on the kitchen counter, Remus ran upstairs, calling Sirius’ name, finally, he opened the door to the master bedroom and was assaulted by the smell or urine and animal fear. Padfoot was cowering under the bed, letting out high-pitched whines with every clap of thunder.

“There you are,” Remus sighed, relief flooding through him. He drew his wand and quickly cleared up the mess, and then lifted the bed off the ground so he could shimmy under to meet the large black dog. “You’re okay,” Remus soothed, scratching Padfoot behind his ears. “You’re safe now.” He stayed that way, shoved under the bed, snuggled up against the dog for quite some time, until his stomach could no longer be ignored and growled very audibly. “What do you think about that Padfoot?” Remus murmured. “Think we can get some food?” In response, Padfoot just licked the side of his face. Laughing, Remus crawled back out from under the bed, dusted his robes off, and waited for the dog to the follow. Just as a black nose and whiskers ventured out from under the bed, a loud clap of thunder sounded, and lightning lit up the sky, and the dog skittered back under the bed. With a sigh, Remus returned to his hands and knees and tried to coax Padfoot back out from under the bed.

It took Remus half an hour to get downstairs, a large black shadow trailing behind him, ears flat against his head, tail trailing on the ground. “It’s okay,” Remus re-assured the dog, rubbing his head every time thunder rumbled in the distance or lightning lit up the sky. “It’s just the weather. Now if you behave, I’ll make us some chicken and rice, and you can eat that as a dog.” Remus figured Sirius was too distressed to really understand him at this point. He seemed to be completely in the mind of a dog, whereas he was usually a human mind in a dog’s body. Either way, he needed food, so Remus went about boiling water, while Padfoot curled up into a ball at his feet.

He felt a little odd feeding his lover out of a dog bowl, but it didn’t appear that Sirius had the presence of mind to change back for the meal, so Remus sat on the floor next to him and stroked his back in what he hoped had a calming effect as he ate his own dinner. Padfoot seemed to have calmed down, but he still would stand up, turn around in a circle, and settle back down intermittently, or whine when Remus broke off physical contact with him. “Alright you,” Remus muttered, once they had both finished eating. “Let’s get you up into bed.” Forcing himself not to think about the amount of long, black fun her would have in the sheets the next morning, Remus half dragged, half carried Padfoot upstairs, where the dog curled up on top of him and buried its wet nose into his ear. “Ugh,” Remus groaned, struggling to get a breath of air that did not smell of dog. “You know,” he sighed, “I really do love you, you mangy mutt.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ron having decent dress robes is important to me. It kind of bothers me that Mrs. Weasley knits eights sweaters every years, but doesn't sew a set of robes even though sewing is easier than knitting, but oh well.


	18. Chapter 18

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The morning after

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> It's taken me forever to write... I just got back to school, and I haven't been motivated to do anything except tumblr.   
> that said, I'm http://follow-the-bvtterflies.tumblr.com/ if you want to check me out

Sirius woke up not quite sure why he felt terrible. Remus was stroking his hair, so that was a good sign. As he started to wake up more thoroughly, however, he felt a weight settle on his chest. “Good morning,” Remus murmured. “I see you’re human again.”

“I’m beginning to regret it,” Sirius grumbled, but rolled over to he could look up at Remus without moving his head from his lap.

“Was it the storm?” Remus asked, stroking the hair out of Sirius’ face.

Sirius nodded. “That, and Harry leaving. But when the weather was worse the Dementors were ore powerful. You would forget where you were, re-live your worst memories, except it would be even worse that the first time you experienced them. You were just stuck in the worst pain and misery of your life, and there was no way out. Except for me, I could be Padfoot, and that helped, as long as I stayed as animal as possible. As long as I let go of anything that made me human. I—I’m sorry. I know I should have talked to you or waited for you to get back or something, but I couldn’t do it, I couldn’t wait…”

“Hush now,” Remus sighed. “It’s okay. You were fine. I just want you to get through the night however you need to. We’ll plan ahead for weather next time, and I’ll make sure I won’t have to leave you home alone, but if you need to change, you go ahead and change, and I’ll take care of you. You certainly take care of me as an animal, and I’m sure we can agree that Padfoot is much better behaved than Moony is.”

“Do you think I’ll always be like this?” Sirius asked, his voice just above a whisper.

“I don’t know.” Remus admitted. “You were in Azkaban for twelve years, and you’ve been out for just over one, and you can do so much. You have a job, and you take care of Harry, and you take care of me on full moons, and you’ve really only had two bad nights. And no matter what, you know I’ll be there for you, whether you get better, or worse. Just like you’ve stayed with me.”

Sirius rolled onto his side and frowned at the grey sky then cursed when he caught sight of the clock. “I’m supposed to go to work today,” he said scrambling to his feet.”

“You aren’t going,” Remus insisted, and pulled his lover back onto the mattress with his superior strength. “I’m not allowing you to do anything unless I think it’s going to help your mood, and work certainly won’t. Now change into your favorite sweater and decide what you want to do. We’re playing hooky.”

“But I…” Sirius started to say, worry gnawing at his insides.

Remus seized his chin and turned his head to face him. “Are you a Marauder or not? Get dressed. Let’s go for a walk, or play fetch, or bake cookies, make curry, whatever you like. The day is yours. And every day after.”


	19. Chapter 19

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Sirius suspects foul play

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> In case you're wondering, I'm going to spend this entire fic trashing Rufus Scrimgeour. I don't know why I irrationally hate him so much, I just do. Some mysteries in life will never be solved.

Remus had been excited to greet Sirius with the news that Harry had written a letter, but as soon as he saw his mate’s face, he new he was in for bad news. “What is it?” He demanded, gesturing Sirius into the sitting room.

“I’m worried,” Sirius groaned as he sunk into an armchair. Remus started a fire, then took a seat on the sofa. “It’s Bertha ruddy Jorkins. Nobody thinks it means anything, but she’s gone completely missing, and people disappearing, and especially since Harry’s dream—I think somebody needs to go looking for her, and nobody will do it…”

“You’re going to Albania.” Remus didn’t ask. He didn’t need to. The only thing he needed to ask was “Will you be home by the next full moon? Because I can take care of myself, but it will be easier if I can plan ahead.”

“I, I haven’t even convinced Scrimgeor to let me go. Merlin, Moons, you’re the first person who hasn’t told me I’m barking mad. I expected you to fight me on this.”

“Bertha was a loud, irritating woman who didn’t like to stray far from the beaten path,” Remus pointed out. “If all this is is an extended vacation, she shouldn’t be hard to find, and then it’s just a wasted weekend, and you’ve seen Albania. You’ve had this in your head a while now, and I don’t really care what Scrimgeour thinks. Worst case scenario, you lose your job, and how attached are you to your job, really?”

“Not terribly,” Sirius admitted. “Though, I would like the official support if we think Harry could be in danger.”

“Speaking of Harry, we have another letter from him,” Remus said, pulling an envelope from his breast pocket. The opened it together and read Harry’s untidy scrawl

_Dear Sirius and Remus,_

_School has been good so far. I can’t believe you didn’t tell me about the tri-wizard tournament. That sounds wicked. Of course Ron wishes he could enter, but I’m glad I’ll just be able to watch. Fred and George are really upset because they’re really close to being old enough. I think they’re going to try and find a way to get around the age lin. I’m also excited to meet people from other countries. I don’t think I’ve met foreign witches or wizards. Are all the incantations still the same? Hermione probably knows. Well, they come on the 30 th. Anyway, we had our first class with Professor Moody. I don’t think I talked to him on your welcoming party. He’s intimidating though. Anyways, this class he showed us the unforgivable curses on spiders. It was cool, but kind of scary. I mean, Neville looked terrified of the cruciatus curse. And the killing curse—I suppose that’s how my parents died then. That’s a stupid questions, of course it is. I remember the flash of green light. It was just weird seeing it used. But I had to see it used at some point I guess. He’s going to train us to resist the imperius curse too. I’m pretty excited for that. Other than classes I’ve been good, happy. Nothing to complain about. My scar hasn’t hurt at all, and being back at school has been loads of fun—not that this summer wasn’t awesome. Actually, this might be the first time I actually enjoyed my summer more than the school year. I don’t know the next time I’ll see you, but I hope you are well, and the next full moon isn’t too hard on you, Remus._

_Love,_

_Harry_

Smiling, Sirius folded up the letter and put is away in his pocket. “He’s a good kid,” Sirius said.

“But how do feel about Moody,” Remus said with a frown. “I’m sure he’ll keep the kids safe, but don’t you think he’ll overwhelm them? Half of those kids in Harry’s year or older lost parents of family members in the war. Showing them the killing the curse. He must have known how that would have affected Neville. And you know Harry’s got to be more upset about seeing the killing curse than he’s letting on.”

“It does like seem a little much,” Sirius conceded. “And it seems odd for Harry to remember that. He was just a baby. But we all knew Alastor would treat the kids like they were in Auror training. But they didn’t sign up for that, and half of them have probably lost family in the war. I don’t know, do you think we should write a letter or something?”

“I think we’d better just be there for Harry,” Remus suggested. “I’m sure Moody will carry on with his ‘constant vigilance’ for the rest of the year, and if it makes him safe… I just worry about his emotional safety too. Write him a good letter before you leave for Albania.” Remus leaned in to kiss Sirius on the cheek, then asked, “When do you want to leave?”

“End of the week,” Sirius answered. “Tonks might come with me. But the sooner I can leave, the sooner I can come back, and be back for the full moon. It really shouldn’t take two weeks. She’ll probably just be with some new boyfriend in the woods somewhere.”

“Just write, okay?” Remus said.


	20. Chapter 20

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Sirius returns with some disturbing news

The day of the full moon, Sirius had not returned. He had sent out a letter a few days earlier, stating he would be going into the forest, based on some reports, had been unable to write. Remus couldn’t complain, not really. Slughorn was brewing him potion, Molly insisted on coming over, cooking for him and mothering him in general, and Harry had kept up writing to him. Still, it was at times like these, just before the changes, that he felt the absence of his mate most sharply, in a way that was almost physical. He ached all over, missed Sirius keenly, and felt a migraine growing by the time he finally convinced Molly to leave him alone in mid-afternoon. Slughorn dropped off his potion just before dinner, but no owl arrived with news from Sirius. The moon would rise thankfully late that night, so Remus could at least count on a short night, even if a lonely one.

Alone in his bedroom, Remus quickly stripped, and tried his best to get comfortable. The Wolfsbane helped with many of the symptoms, or at the very least helped him sleep through most of the symptoms. After setting an alarm, Remus settled into an uneasy nap, missing the comforting arms around his waist and the familiar smell of his mate.

Remus felt that he had hardly been asleep for a few minutes when he was roused, not by the clock on his bedside table, but by the sound of the front door being pushed open. _Intruders._ Instinctively, Remus was out of bed, dressed, wand in hand, in a matter of seconds. He raced out of the room, and was leaning over the banister, looking down into the entryway when the familiar scent registered.

“Sirius,” Remus exclaimed, as his lover removed his hat and shook his hair in a very dog-like fashion.

“Didn’t think I’d leave you alone for the full, did you?” Sirius asked, then removed his cloak. Remus found himself tracking Sirius’ tiniest movement. Despite his exhaustion, it had been a while since he had touched Sirius and that paired with the rising moon was making his body thrum with desire. “Moons?” Sirius asked, grinning at him.

“I—Bertha Jorkins,” Remus blurted out, trying to focus on why Sirius had been gone for so long, not the way the rain was making his shirt clung to his chest.

“Dead,” Sirius answered shortly, his face falling instantly. “We brought the body back to be examined, but it’s got to have been magic. I don’t like it Moons. It too much like last time.”

“It won’t be like last time,” Remus said with conviction he didn’t have. “It can’t be like last time.” Somehow—Remus wasn’t quite sure how, they had both gotten to the landing, and he pulled Sirius into his chest and buried his nose into Sirius’ neck, breathing him in. His grip tightened around Sirius, and then they were kissing fiercely, desperately. His hands were frantically pulling at Sirius’ buttons, and trembling fingers took a ridiculously long time with the knot of his bathrobe. All rational thought had fled and been replaced by the realization that he needed Sirius and he needed him now. Needed to throw him on the bed, mark him, feel his warm flesh under his fingers. He had just started to pull Sirius up the stairs when the sound of rushing flames announced a visitor.

“Sirius,” Tonks called, then seeing her cousin and his lover practically devouring one another on the stairwell, cleared her throat uncomfortably as her hair flashed a bright shade of red. “Er, we’ve got a preliminary report from the hospital in Tirana. They sent it straight to the Unspeakables, and I just saw it now, and…” Sirius had already taken it from her hands, and looked up at her, his face slack with horror.

“What is it?” Remus asked, making his way unsteadily down the stairs, though his legs were rather wobbly.

“It’s—I—no,” Sirius shoved the papers back at Tonks and shook his head, then turned back to Remus. “We’ll talk about this after. I can’t… not right now, not until after. Once you’re safe, once I know you feeling better. Then I can think about what this means.”

“Sirius, Scrimgeour wants you in,” Tonks said warily.

“Yeah, well Scrimgeour can go bugger himself,” Sirius shouted. “I’ll be in tomorrow. Late tomorrow. I’m the one who wanted to go to fucking Albania. He knows what tonight is. If he wants to come and get me, he’s welcome to try.”

“Sirius,” Remus groaned, clenching his fists. He was getting overwhelmed with all the sensory information, the scents, Sirius’s raised voice, the new information about Bertha. It was all too much for him to process, when he just wanted to get lost in the familiar sensations of his mate.

“I’m sorry,” Tonks said, and Remus became vaguely aware that he was sitting on the stairs, supported by Sirius. “I should go.”

With another rush of flames, she was gone, and Sirius was pulling Remus downstairs into the basement, and then the cumbersome dressing gown was off, and he opened his eyes, realizing he had been keeping them closed the whole time. “You’re safe Moons,” Sirius assured him, then placed a kiss on his forehead and the tip of his nose.

“I thought you weren’t coming,” Remus admitted.

“I’d always come back for you,” Sirius said, and his arms were wrapped around Remus. Remus frowned at all the foreign smells that clung to Sirius’ clothing, and tugged at his clothing, desperate to find the body he knew.

“I need you,” Remus panted, bringing his lips up to meet Sirius’, hot and desperate. “I need… need to feel you. Need to… mine.” He spoke in fragments between open-mouthed kisses pressed to Sirius face and throat.

“Yes,” Sirius gasped, joining in Remus’ needy rhythm. It was more frantic, more desperate than he would have liked, but when Remus entered him, panting on their hands and knees, he gasped out his lover’s name, he forgot the dead woman whose memories had been so horribly tampered with, and got lost in the feeling of being whole again.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm not sure I like how this part turned out, but oh well, that's just kind of how things go.


	21. Chapter 21

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Sirius fills Remus in about his mission. Remus makes a request of Sirius.

“Remus?” Shaken awake, Remus sat up and glared in the bright morning light. “I’ve got lunch for you downstairs,” Sirius offered. “Then I’ve got to get back to work in an hour.” Scratchy whiskers brushed against Remus’ face as Sirius kissed him on the cheek, and then he was gone. Grumbling to himself, Remus forced himself out of bed, pulled on a sweater and a pair of boxers, then walked downstairs in the direction of the smell of food. Fish and chips, to be exact.

“Morning,” Remus yawned as he took his seat. He only vaguely remembered getting from the basement, into the shower and into the bed, and didn’t really count it as the morning. “How was work?”

“Lousy,” Sirius said as he covered his chips in an obscene amount of vinegar. “Scrimgeour’s upset I was actually right about Bertha, and decided to make all sorts of lovely comments regarding what we get up to in the bedroom. Granted, we almost gave poor Nymphadora an eyeful…” Remus joined Sirius in a chuckle, but Sirius continued, “but there are only so many slights against my masculinity I can take before I hex his bollocks off.”

“I’m sorry,” Remus sighed, reaching out to tangle his fingers through Sirius’ hair.

“It’s not your fault,” Sirius said. “I don’t get half the shite you do.”

“Tell me about Bertha Jorkins,” Remus murmured as he let his hand fall back down to the table.

Sirius frowned at his food. “We found her deep in the forest. She was last seen in an inn where she met a man she seemed to recognize. He—witnesses described him as short and rather sick looking, and the owner said he was left-handed and nobody ever got a good look at his right hand…”

“You think it’s Peter.” Remus stated.

“It has to be,” Sirius stated. “Tonks wasn’t convinced, but that’s not it. She was found in the woods. There’s no good reason for her to have gone there. She apparently just had a falling out with her cousins—they made fun of her hair of some silly thing—and she’d gone to the inn to get away for the night, but nobody knows why she went into the woods. And there’s rumors—bad things happen to people who go in. Not just muggle rumors. All the wizards avoid it. Not just the usual, like acromantuals, or vampires—”

“Or werewolves,” Remus grumbled. “Sorry,” he said when Sirius glared at him. “Continue.”

“There was dark magic there,” Sirius stated. “We could both feel it, as soon as we stepped in. And she was deep in. Lots of creepy things. The animals seemed more alive, and you could just feel the evil. I don’t know how else to explain it.”

“I understand,” Remus murmured. “I spent time in the Black Forest in Germany while you were in Azkaban, looking for work. Dangerous jobs. Russian Taiga too. There are places where the darker things live easier.”

“I didn’t know that,” Sirius said frowning. They had consciously avoided any mentions of the twelve years that stretched like a chasm between them. “Anyways, we found her body in some sort of shelter deep in the forest. It was at least a month old. But at the hospital they found out her brain had been… tampered with. Her memories. Whoever killed her, they wanted information, and they must have been a very good legilimense. There’s no way for us to know what they found out, but the amount of probing left a permanent trace. The Unspeakables are still working on the autopsy.”

“That’s… Sirius it feels like he’s coming back, doesn’t it?” Remus said, shaking his head.

“Yeah, yeah it does,” Sirius agreed.

“Look,” Remus said hesitantly, “I’ve been thinking, I want to be useful, and now that Harry’s gone, I won’t have much to do, and I can look into some of this. Resurrections, legilimency, I can research that. I’m sure Dumbledore knows plenty, but he’ll never tell us. But I need books, and I can’t get them. The second a werewolf tries to get his hands on books on the dark arts, I’m in Azkaban, but I know where we can get all the books I will ever need without raising suspicion.”

“Where?” Sirius asked.

Remus took a deep breath, then quickly said, “Grimmauld Place. But I would need you or at least Tonks to get me past all the family wards.”

“I can get you books from the Ministry library,” Sirius said, shaking his head.

“Sirius… the Ministry won’t have the kind of books your family does. They’ll have the kinds of books that will really describe what Voldemort might be doing. That’s how we can stay ahead of him. I… I know it’s asking a lot, and I don’t want to pressure you into it, just think about it please. You wouldn’t need to come in with me, just get me through the door, and I could maybe get Tonks to come in with me in case there’s any trouble. But you are the legal owner, and I can’t go there without you.”

Sirius closed his eyes and let out a shaky breath. He smiled and cracked his eyes when Remus took his hands, then said, “hey, I’m supposed to be comforting you.” At a frown from Remus, he said, “I’ll think about it. If… if you really think it’s the best way to protect Harry… I just hate even going near there.”

“I know,” Remus sighed. Sirius still got nightmares of the place. “You ought to eat up. Cold fish is nasty.”

“I think I’ve lost my appetite,” Sirius admitted. “You take it.” Remus shrugged and pulled the extra helping towards himself. There was no such thing as too much food the day after a full moon.

“What’s next for you?” Remus asked in between mouthfuls.

“Don’t choke,” Sirius cautioned. “And, I think we’ll be tracing back over Bertha’s life. Looking for anything they might have gotten from her memories. And paying extra attention to any funny muggle deaths or disappearances. We’re working with the Albanian Ministry as well, and we’ll be increasing security at the Tri-Wizard Tournament. I might even get a chance to watch one of the events.”

“That’d be good,” Remus said. “You could see Harry at least.”

Sirius smiled, then took out his pocket watch. “I should get back,” he said with a sigh. “Molly will be by around tea to check on you. If you need anything…”

“I’ll be more than alright,” Remus said with a smile. “All I need is a good nap.”

“Alright then,” Sirius said, leaned in for a quick kiss, and then made his way for the fireplace.


	22. Chapter 22

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Sirius and Remus return to Grimmauld Place. Old memories re-sruface

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> TW for child abuse. This chapter gets more explicit than previous chapters about past physical/verbal abuse.

Hand in hand, Remus and Sirius apparated into Grimmauld Place and stood facing the imposing stone fortress that was number 12. At least, it looked formidable to Sirius. To Remus, it was just a rather nice house with bad memories for his mate and strong protective magic. When Sirius stayed rooted to the pavement, Remus squeezed his hand and murmured, “We can always come back later.”

“No,” Sirius insisted. “It has to be today. I—I’ve come this far. And you need books for research.” Taking a deep breath, Sirius dropped his lover’s hand, and made his way to the front door, where he drew a heavy black iron key from his pocket and unlocked the door.

He had half expected some nightmarish creature to jump out at him and hex him the second he pushed the door open, but that was silly. If he had learned nothing from his childhood, it was that the real monsters were often hidden in human flesh, not ghosts or monsters. The hallway was dark, but much as he remembered it, though dusty, and covered in cobwebs.

“ _Lumos,”_ Remus murmured, and soon he was muttering cleansing incantations, lighting lamps, and sending small armies of spiders, rats, and mice out onto the streets. “I used to do jobs like these,” he said in explanation, looking back up at Sirius. “It was the kind of thing you wouldn’t need to pass a background check for.”

Sirius had been about to open his mouth to respond when, with a crack, an all-too-familiar house-elf appeared before them. “Kreacher?” Sirius exclaimed. As he spoke, however, the heavy, black moth-eaten curtain on the wall behind them slid away to reveal what looked like a very realistic portrait of Walburgha Black in her older years.

“ _You_ ,” she shouted, pointing one shriveled finger at Sirius, “shame upon the house of my father. Stain of dishonor. Filthy blood traitor and sodomite. Bedding with half-breeds beasts! You are not son of mine. Shame of my loins. Her eyes seemed to be popping out of her head, she was so upset. Sirius, was frozen solid, staring at his mother’s portrait. Desperate for anything to shut the woman up, Remus yanked at the dusty curtain, which was no easy feat, but he managed to pull the shut, drowning out the hateful words behind them.

“Sirius…” he gasped, once the portrait was dealt with.

“The young master returns,” Kreacher muttered. “But he brings his beast with him. Yes… yes, Kreacher knows.”

“Don’t call him that,” Sirius barked, glaring at Kreacher, his voice wavering, then said, a little strong, “Kreacher, stay out of our way, and… clean this place up. Remus is going to be coming here. Next time he’s here, I expect the library clean. And that means, dusted, swept, scrubbed, _clean.”_

“Yes master,” Kreacher said grudgingly, and wandered off in the direction of the kitchen.

“Sirius,” Remus said, taking his mate’s hand, as the elf disappeared.

“Let’s just get upstairs,” Sirius proposed. “Away from that bloody portrait. I’ll show you to the library, make sure nothing will kill you, then we can get the floo sorted. Then I’m going home.”

Remus nodded, and followed Sirius up the dusty stairs, doing his best to cast some quick cleansing charms as he went. The library was on the third floor, and they didn’t encounter anything treacherous before coming to the door. Inside, the room smelled of old parchment, but also of decay and rot. It was clear Kreacher had not cleaned anything in this house in quite some time. Wand alight, Remus wandered through the bookshelves, scanning for any potential hazards. “I think this should be safe enough,” he called back. “I can at least get books and bring them back home without danger. Perhaps you could command Kreacher to alert you if I get in any trouble. But I should be able to signal you.” When Sirius didn’t respond, Remus rushed over towards the door, but Sirius wasn’t there anymore. Instead, he was standing, stock still, apart from the bookshelves, staring at the desk by the window.

“What is it?” Remus asked, taking Sirius hand.

“The night I left,” Sirius began, “After they found out about—about everything, my father dragged me up here, right there in front of the desk and took a cane and beat me with it until I was crying. Then he started hexing me, and my mum made Reg watch, so he’d know never to shame our family that way, and…”

“Come on,” Remus murmured, taking Sirius shoulders and steering him towards the door as he continued to stare at that spot on the floor where it had all happened. “Let’s go downstairs. We’ll link the floo, and I’ll take you home. We can get you in a bath. Does that sound good?”

Sirius nodded, but Remus could tell that he was not full present. When they walked through the Dining room to the main fireplace, Sirius could almost see his family sitting there, in overly formal clothing, eating with the heavy silver cutlery, drinking out of those solid silver goblets. It had been at this table that Regulus had said those few words and everything had gone to shit.

_“Sirius, I was wondering something,” Regulus said, looking up from his plate. “How close, exactly are you with that Lupin boy?”_

_Sirius looked up sharply, then tried to hide a flush and the fact that his heart was racing. “He’s my best mate,” Sirius said. “He has been for years. Might be confusing seeing as you don’t have any.”_

_“Hmm,” Regulus said, arching his eyebrows. “Because people say things about you and him, and James Potter. They say it’s unnatural, how close you are. They say you aren’t just friends. They say you all fuck each other.”_

_“Honestly Regulus,” Orion cut in. “I’d expect you not to bring this sort of drivel to the dinner table. It’s hardly polite conversation.”_

_“Well it isn’t like we ever get any other chance to talk to Sirius, do we?” Regulus insisted. “I told them it was a dirty lie, of course. You would never shame our family name like that. But then I read something rather odd in a letter you sent Remus, or as I suppose you call him ‘Moony.’”_

_“Reg,” Sirius hissed, his fists clenched on his fork and knife. “Don’t—don’t you dare.”_

_“You see, I was concerned, so I thought just to make sure,” Regulus pulled a familiar looking piece of parchment from out of his pocket, and glanced at his parents to make sure he had their attention before he continued. “‘I’m bored here. I miss you. Fuck, I miss your cock. I think about it every night, wishing you were with me, holding me. I hate sleeping alone. I miss the way you smell. I miss you being the first thing I see in the morning—’ it’s sickening really. He goes on to talk about what he wants to do, when he finally sees him—”_

_“Fucking give that back,” Sirius shouted, and vaulted over the tabled to tackle Regulus. “That’s personal. You had no right.”_

_“Sirius,” Orion hissed. “Is it true?” Sirius found himself held up, suspended magically a few feet away from Regulus._

_“I—it’s… it’s not,” Sirius stammered, but really couldn’t think of anything left to say. The letter would only give more incriminating evidence. “So what if it is,” Sirius finally said, doing his best to look defiant while he hung in the air, unable to move. “I love him, and he loves me more than any of you have ever loved me.”_

_With the flick of a wand, he was on the floor, and his mother was crying, saying, “my own son… my own flesh…” and he was in the worst pain he had ever been in._

_And his father had grabbed him by the collar, and was dragging him up the stairs, and calling for Regulus to join, and the pain kept coming in new waves, and Regulus’ face went from a self-satisfied smirk to horror, and soon he was begging Orion to stop, saying hadn’t it been enough, and Sirius was barely conscious when he was thrown into a spare room and the door was locked._

_With a crack, Kreacher had appeared some hours later with Sirius’ wand. “Master Regulus told me to bring young Master Sirius his wand,” Kreacher muttered._

_Sniffing, Sirius had ignored the pain enough to stand up, wipe the blood out of his eyes, and unlock the window. He was establishing firm footing on the yew tree in the backyard, when Kreacher’s face appeared in the window and said, “Master Sirius has made Kreacher’s mistress cry. He has broken Mistress’ heart. Master Sirius is a bad boy.” With another crack, the branch had broken off, and Sirius was falling._

_Sirius had spent enough time on a broom to catch his landing well enough, and then he was on his feet, scrambling over the backyard, and then running as well as he could for three blocks, and then he collapsed in an alley that smelled of old fish._

_“Need… help,” he managed to gasp out, before he sent off a patronus to the Potters’, and then he fell against the cement, breathing heavily._

_It didn’t take long for Fleamont to disapparate and follow the silver dog, which led him to the limp, broken form of Sirius Black. “Come on,” he said as he picked the teenager up. “I’m taking you to St. Mungo’s. You’re safe now.”_

When Sirius returned to his surroundings, he was no longer in Grimmauld Place, but slumped against the wall of the entryway in his own home, and Remus was mopping off his forehead with a cool flannel. “It’s alright,” Remus sighed. “You’re home. You’re safe now.”

“I’m sorry,” Sirius gasped. “I just… the memories started coming, and I couldn’t stop them. It was like Dementors.”

“Let’s just get you some water or tea, and then into bed, unless you’d rather a bath,” Remus said, helping Sirius to his feet. Remus guided his mate to a chair in the kitchen, then went about making some tea, with plenty of sugar.

“I’m sorry,” Sirius said again.

“It’s not your fault,” Remus assured him, looking up from the kettle. “You were innocent. You never deserved to go to Azkaban. I’m not sure anybody ever deserves that, really, and you went to Grimmauld Place because I asked you to. It’s my fault if anybody’s.”

“I just wish I could do things,” Sirius cried. “I can’t even go into my own childhood home without having flashbacks. I’m just so fucking useless. I don’t know why you stick around.”

Remus crossed the room and took Sirius’ hands, then said, “You are not useless. You’ve been through hell and back, and now you’re out, I promised I’d be with you forever. We are going to get through days like these. And there will probably be a lot of them. Now, I just need you to tell me what kind of tea to make, and if you’d rather your bath smell like lavender or peppermint.”

“I—Earl Grey,” Sirius said as Remus wiped up the errant tears from his cheeks. “And lavender.”

“We can do that,” Remus said, then placed a kiss on Sirius’ forehead. “We’ll get through this.”


	23. Chapter 23

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Sirius brings bad news from the Ministry

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> More hurt/comfort... I promise there will be some more plot soon

“What are you reading?”

Remus lowered his book on dark potions to see Sirius, dripping wet in the door to the library holding a bag of take out. “Something deeply disturbing _,”_ Remus answered, setting the book aside. “Shall we go eat?”

“There’s something I wanted to talk to you about first,” Sirius admitted, rubbing the back of his neck as he set down the bag of take out. “It’s—well it’ll probably be in the paper tomorrow anyway.”

“What are you talking about?” Remus asked.

“Do you know Dolores Umbridge?” Sirius asked finally.

“I know of her,” Remus grumbled. “She’s horrible. Practically devotes her life to making mine more difficult. What’s she done?”

“She’s proposed a new piece of legislation in the Wizengamot,” Sirius said. “It’s very anti-werewolf. I don’t know the whole of it, just what I heard, but as far as I can tell you’ll need to inform your employer about your condition before you apply for a job, and…” Sirius took a deep breath and closed his eyes, “And werewolves wouldn’t be allowed in jobs with access to children.”

Remus sat stock still for a second, numb with shock, and then he was shaking is head. “I don’t believe this,” he muttered. “This—this is all my fault.”

“Remus,” Sirius pleaded, “don’t do that. You aren’t responsible…”

“It’s easy enough for me,” Remus cried. “I’ve got you, I’m comfortable. But the rest of them—none of the others will be able to get a job, or will have to risk arrest because I forgot to take the sodding Wolfsbane. They’re going to be starving. I was starving before, and that was with a wand, and an education, and things they’ll never have. Things that have been taken from a vast majority of them.”

“It wasn’t you,” Sirius insisted, taking hold of Remus’ shoulders. “It was Snape. And I can fight this. It hasn’t been passed yet, and I still know a few people on the Wizengamot. My name still means something around there I suppose. But it’s not your fault. Don’t blame yourself for her sins.”

Remus exhaled slowly, then nodded. “You’re right,” He said. Shrugging off Sirius’ hands, he stood up and grabbed the take-out bag. “Let’s just have a nice meal, alright?”

“You sure?” Sirius asked. “We can talk about this.”

“What is there to talk about?” Remus said, with an alarmingly convincing smile. “Like you said, it’s Snape’s fault. Anyways, I’m hungry.”

If Sirius hadn’t known Remus Lupin, he wouldn’t have known that the other man had been on the verge of tears seconds ago. Under the cheerful, casual manner, he knew Remus was hurting.

It wasn’t until Sirius had gotten out of the shower and ready for bed, that he saw Remus curled up into a tight ball, hugging his knees to his chest, facing towards the opposite wall. “Rem,” Sirius said, slipping into bed and sliding his arm around Remus’ waist. “Talk to me Moons.”

“There’s nothing to say,” Remus stated, in the tone of voice of somebody trying very hard not to cry.

“Then don’t say anything,” Sirius suggested. “I’m here for you okay? How about you just let me be the emotionally stable one for a bit? Just let me know how you feel.”

“Sirius,” Remus muttered, but whatever words he was going to say were cut off by a sob that came without warning, and soon he was caught up in it all, really crying for the first time in months—years maybe—and he had Sirius’ arms around him, hands brushing away his hair or wiping his cheeks, and lips placing small kisses on his shoulders and neck.

“I love you,” Sirius whispered, once Remus had calmed down a bit.

“I’m so glad you’re back,” Remus choked out, gripping his lover’s hand perhaps a little too hard. “I—I never wanted to do any of this alone.”

“You aren’t alone anymore,” Sirius assured him. “You are right where you belong.”


	24. Chapter 24

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Harry's name comes out of the Goblet of Fire, Sirius is not happy.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey look, some plot!

Halloween went better than Remus had expected. Sirius spent most of the evening alternating between human and dog form, Remus petting his hair either way, and after dinner they were cuddled up on the sofa, listening to records. “They’ll be choosing the champions just about now,” Remus commented, to which Sirius didn’t respond. They lapsed into silence for some time, until they heard the floo activate in the next room. “I’ll go see what it is,” Remus offered, then, leaving a kiss on Sirius’ forehead, went into the hall to investigate the fireplace. He recognized the familiar face of Albus Dumbledore, and crouched down to better converse with him.

“Ah, Remus,” Albus said with a smile. “Could you possibly send Sirius over? There is a matter I need to discuss with him.”

“Albus,” Remus said hesitantly, “It’s Halloween. Sirius isn’t doing very well.”

“I understand,” Dumbledore sighed. “I wouldn’t ask unless it was urgent. It involves Harry.”

“I’ll go get him,” Remus said, straightening up. He turned around to see Sirius hovering in the doorway, clutching at the hem of his sweater, and looking nervously between Remus and the fireplace.

“Dumbledore wants you in Hogwarts,” Remus explained. “It has to do with Harry.” Mutely, Sirius grabbed Remus’ hand and pulled him in the direction of the floo. When they arrived at Hogwarts, they found Dumbledore was not alone in his office. Harry, McGonagall and Mad-Eye were all waiting for them.

“What’s going on?” Sirius asked, his voice hoarse. “Harry, are you alright?”

“I’m fine,” Harry muttered, but he was looking at the floor.

“Albus?” Remus demanded, turning to face Dumbledore.

“As you know, the Goblet of Fire nominated the champions for the Tri-Wizard Tournament tonight, only, after the Goblet had named three champions, Harry’s name came out of the Goblet as well,” Dumbledore explained.

“How can that happen?” Sirius demanded. “Only wizards seventeen or older can enter. Harry is too young. He can’t compete.”

“The Goblet creates a binding magical agreement,” Dumbledore sighed. “I think, and Barty Crouch agrees with me, that Harry has no choice but to compete.”

“This is unacceptable,” Sirius shouted, spinning around to face Dumbledore. “You can’t honestly expect… he’s only fourteen Albus. And he’s certainly been through enough already. And if Harry didn’t enter his own name, which he couldn’t have, then how could it possibly bind him?”

“Albus,” Remus cut in. “Realistically, what could the consequences possibly be if Harry doesn’t compete? There have to be conditions.”

“The, uh, the Goblet is an old magical item,” Dumbledore said, looking a little uncomfortable for the first time that night. “I did not set all the charms upon it myself, so I’m not quite sure the precise repercussions, but you know what can happen when wizards break binding magical covenants.”

Remus swore, while Sirius broke out into a new tirade, “So you used an object without fully understanding its properties? I don’t suppose you have any way of knowing who put Harry’s name in, do you? I don’t suppose you thought of that. No, I don’t suppose you thought of very much at all when it came to the safety of students, did you?”

“The Tournament—” Albus began, but Sirius cut him off.

“I don’t give a flying fuck about your bleeding tournament. My godson is in danger. People have died in these tasks.”

As Sirius continued to shout at Dumbledore, Remus noticed Harry’s head sinking lower and lower. “Albus, does Harry need to be here?” Remus demanded, cutting into some explanation or other. “Perhaps, if I were to take him somewhere nearby, while you and Sirius, er, discuss this.”

“Of course,” Dumbledore said, glancing over to Harry.

“Come on then,” Remus said, and escorted Harry out of the tower and into a nearby empty classroom. As he passed Moody, he caught a slightly unfamiliar scent on the ex-Auror, but pushed it to the side of his mind. He didn’t have time to think of such things.

As soon as they were alone, Harry blurted out, “I didn’t put my name in the goblet, I swear. I didn’t even want this.”

“I know,” Remus assured him. “I believe you, and so does Sirius. And so does Dumbledore, if that matters to you.”

Harry nodded, then said, “I don’t want to compete. I mean, sure I thought about a little, but I just want a normal year for once.”

“We’re going to do our best,” Remus said, putting his hand on Harry’s shoulder. “But to be honest, the only way out of I can see is for you to leave school for the year.”

“Leave Hogwarts?” Harry asked, looking up at Remus.

“I know it’s not ideal,” Remus admitted. “But if can’t be Hogwarts champion if you aren’t a Hogwarts student. So if you don’t want to compete, you can come home, and I’ll home-school you for a year. But that would mean being away from your friends.”

“I don’t think I could leave Hogwarts,” Harry admitted. “I mean, I loved the summer with you and Sirius, but Ron and Hermione are here.”

“I understand,” Remus sighed. “You would be bored. But the offer stands. At any time, if you want to get out, I’ll come get you. Your safety is first priority.”

At the sound of the door opening, they looked up to see Sirius, still looking thoroughly angry, in the doorway. “Harry, Dumbledore says you have to compete,” Sirius said, sending a glare in the direction of the Headmaster’s tower. He turned his attention back on Harry, and said, “Listen, Remus and I will do whatever it takes to keep you safe. You can trust Mad-Eye too. But it’s not just the tasks. Your name didn’t come out of that Goblet by accident. I don’t want to scare you, Harry, but somebody might be setting you up to get hurt in this competition. You should watch out for Karkaroff, and the Durmstrang champion. Karkaroff was a Death Eater, and his school barely hides the fact they teach the Dark Arts. And Barty Crouch, he sent his own son to Azkaban. And Snape—”

“Sirius,” Remus scolded. “Snape is our ally. I know you don’t like him Harry, but he will protect you. Just like he did your first year.”

Harry nodded, still looking terrified. Sirius sighed, then ruffled his hair affectionately. “Alright then, if you haven’t got anything left to say, I’ll walk you to Gryffindor Tower.” Harry nodded and followed his godfather out of the room. “Although,” Sirius muttered, as an afterthought. “I may drop you off just before the Tower. I don’t exactly fancy a chat with the Fat Lady after… well things got a little out of hand last year.”

Remus smiled to himself and shook his head. But as soon as Sirius voice died away, Remus’ face sunk into a frown. Harry could not have been chosen by accident, and Remus hated to think what this could mean for the boy he had come to see as family.

           

“Sirius,” Remus said, just as he was about to fall asleep, as something else came to mind, something he had almost forgotten.

“Go to bed Moony,” Sirius groaned.

“So I suppose you don’t want to hear my theory about how Moody might have a boyfriend then?” Remus asked.

“What?” Sirius exclaimed, sitting bolt upright. “For fuck’s sake Moons, you can’t just say that to a person.”

Remus snickered, then rolled onto his side to face Sirius. “Well, when I passed him, he smelled _different._ Different from over the summer. He had somebody else’s scent on him. Two distinct scents. My best guess is that he got very close to somebody else shortly before the meeting, and the other scent was definitely male.”

“I don’t—” Sirius spluttered, laughing and shaking his head at the same time. “I didn’t even know he was gay. To be honest I can’t think of a time I’ve ever seen of heard of him being with _anybody.”_

“Well, if he was gay, he’d probably want to keep it quiet,” Remus said fairly.

“Yeah, but he could have told us. He knows we’re together. We wouldn’t have a problem with it. Maybe Tonks would know…”

“You’re not going to mention anything to Tonks,” Remus growled. “If he wants to keep things quiet, that’s his right. Or his boyfriend’s. That’s assuming it’s even a relationship. But I don’t know. The scent did seem a little familiar… maybe somebody we went to school with?”

“Damn, Mad-eye’s got some game,” Sirius chuckled. “He’s got to be twice our age. Even if it was an older student, that’s got to be a twenty year age gap.”

“I could know the scent from somewhere else,” Remus pointed out. “I only caught it for a few seconds on my way out of the room, and I was focused on other things.”

“Well I like the idea that he’s got some young lover,” Sirius giggled. “He’s probably got him in a place in Hogsmeade. I imagine, every time he goes to visit him, he finds some new way to attack him to check his _constant vigilance.”_

“Maybe,” Remus yawned, then pulled the blankets up to his chin. “Maybe there is somebody for everybody. Lucky bugger.”


	25. Chapter 25

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Remus and Sirius get a letter from Harry, then have a discussion about Peter

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> short chapter, I will post more soon

Remus hardly looked up from his books when Sirius entered the library, and paid his mate little attention until he felt hands massaging at his shoulders.

“Found anything interesting?” Sirius asked, leaning in to inspect the books, until his face was beside Remus’.

“Far more than I ever wanted to know,” Remus admitted. “And there are a few potions I think could be used to return Voldemort to his body, but by far the most likely is this one.” Remus flipped to the page in question and showed Sirius the ingredients.

“Bone of the father, flesh of the servant—well Wormtail’s already cut off a finger—and blood of the enemy…”

“He’s certainly got enough of those,” Remus said, “We just need to find out who his father was and where he was buried. I bet Dumbledore knows, but I doubt he’d tell us…”

“Come to bed,” Sirius suggested. “I can try to look all this up for you at work. You look exhausted. You won’t stop Voldemort in a night.”

“I know,” Remus groaned. “I just, need to check this last—”

As he spoke, the book was taken out of his hands, and Sirius was pulling him to his feet. As they made their way upstairs, they were distracted by a tapping at the window, and looked over to see Hedwig sitting at the study window.

“Harry must have sent her over after dinner,” Sirius said, crossing the room, frowning. “We just saw him the other day. I can’t think what it would be.”

“I’ll go get a treat for Hedwig,” Remus sighed, and went over to the pantry while Sirius read over the letter. As Remus got the owl sorted, Sirius shook his head and tossed the letter back on the desk.

“Ron thinks Harry entered his own name in the Goblet,” Sirius said. “And apparently now he isn’t speaking to Harry. I don’t believe it. As if Harry would actually want to endanger himself like that.”

Remus sighed and picked up the letter, reading over Harry’s anxious scrawl. “Ron’s probably just jealous,” Remus reasoned. “He’s got his brothers always overshadowing him, and whether Harry likes it or not, he always gets all the attention. It’s not rational, but Ron probably just wanted a bit of glory for once. It’s not always easy having friends who are endlessly popular.” Remus gave Sirius a pointed look as he spoke his last sentence.

“Did it really bother you at school?” Sirius asked.

“No, not usually,” Remus said with a shrug. “I didn’t want attention, mostly for, well werewolf reasons, but I knew everybody liked you and James better. People paid attention to your accomplishments more. Sometimes it was convenient to be invisible, but it could also be hurtful and frustrating. Most of the time, knowing the two of you cared about me was enough. I think it was harder on Peter to be honest. Sometimes just being associated with the two of you just wasn’t enough for him. He wanted to be special.”

“Do you think we could have stopped him?” Sirius asked. “I don’t know, if we’d paid more attention to him, or made him feel more important? I don’t—”

“It was his decision,” Remus interrupted. “You can’t go blaming yourself for what Peter did. And you always cared about him. You said yourself you would have died for him. Any of us would have. He just—he couldn’t handle it. The war. He saw an easy way out and he took it. You can’t blame yourself or go thinking about ways you could have stopped it. I bet we each spent years doing that, and it didn’t get us anywhere.”

“I know,” Sirius groaned. “I just—sometimes I just wish there was _something._ I know if won’t bring them back…”

“Let’s just write Harry a letter,” Remus suggested, beckoning Sirius towards the desk. “And I’ll talk to Molly tomorrow. See if she can’t talk some sense into Ron. But the best thing we can do for James and Lily now is take care of their son.”


	26. Chapter 26

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Sirius consults Narcissa about his Rita Skeeter problem

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello everybody who has been following this story. I'm going to Scotland for a week (!) and I won't be able to update for a while probably, due to internet, but I may be able to write. I don't know, I'll see how it goes.

“Look at this.” Sirius slammed a copy of the Daily Prophet down on Remus’ desk, causing Remus to look up and see a large picture of Harry on the front cover. “Tonks is dating a girl on the graphic design team, and she got me an advanced copy. It’s ridiculous. I just… Harry would never have said those things.”  
Remus skimmed the article, his eyebrows arching as lines such as “eyes glistened with the ghosts of his past” leaped from the page. No, Harry certainly would not have said those things. “I don’t really know what to tell you,” Remus sighed, handing the article back to Sirius. “It’s honestly just typical Rita Skeeter. I don’t know how to stop her.”  
“There’s got to be something we can do!” Sirius exclaimed. “It’s libel! She can’t just print whatever she likes about Harry, and pretend it’s fact. Lots of people actually believe her.”  
“Sirius, I don’t know much about public image,” Remus admitted. “But if you want somebody who does, you should talk to Narcissa.”

“It isn’t bad,” Narcissa said, glancing around the entrance way to Sirius’ home. “Though you really ought to get an elf. Or at least a woman. Those picture frames need dusting. You can see it from miles away.”  
“Lovely to see you as well, cousin,” Sirius said, forcing a smile. “And we have somebody come once a week and clean up. Remus and I see to the rest.”  
“Ah yes, Remus,” Narcissa said, smirking. “Where is he? At…work?”  
“No,” Sirius said darkly. “He’s… researching. It’s his own project.” Sirius wasn’t quite sure why he didn’t tell Narcissa about Grimmauld place, besides the fact that he didn’t want to talk about it. He supposed she might want to visit, and he did not want to have to show her around. Or make Remus do it. And letting her near Kreacher was the last thing he wanted. Currently, the elf was busy cleaning Grimmauld Place. Remus had suggested rewarding him with various family heirlooms if he cleaned the house to a satisfactory level. Frankly, Sirius couldn’t be arsed either way. He just called Kreacher over, gave the orders Remus asked him to give, then moved on. But there had been some improvement in the elf’s behavior, especially after he had been allowed to keep some locket he insisted had belonged to Regulus.  
“Now,” Narcissa said, once Sirius had gotten her settled in the study with a cup of tea. “Let’s talk about Skeeter. Most of her stuff is simply untrue. She writes with a Quick-Quotes Quill, and it spews out all sorts of rubbish. Really, if you hire any sort of legal counsel on Harry’s defense, show her you have teeth, she’ll have to back off—well at least at first. It’ll mean she can’t just make stuff up out of thin air about your family. But sometimes there is truth to her stuff. Nobody knows quite how she does it, but she gets information—information that’s supposed to be secret. She hears private conversations, sees sealed documents, gets photographs in places there’s no way she should be. If you challenge her. She will go after you. And you have secrets.”  
Narcissa fixed Sirius with a hard stare, and he felt, for a moment, like a small child again, when his mother had caught him being naughty. “Everybody already knows that Remus is a werewolf,” Sirius said, his throat dry. “And that I’m an animagus.”  
“I’m not talking about that,” Narcissa said. “Though the first thing she’ll write about is that you have a werewolf living with the boy who lived. But it’s only a matter of time until she find out why. Sirius Black, wrongfully convicted Black heir sleeping with Remus Lupin, werewolf is a much more interesting headline than anything about the tri-wizard tournament.”  
“She doesn’t know where we live,” Sirius insisted. “The number of people who know and Remus and I—it can’t be more than ten. Just people in the Order, and you, apparently. Unless… Is it obvious?”  
“No,” Narcissa said, laughing a little. “After you ran away, Aunt Walburgha came over, all in a rage, screaming about you. Luckily, I was the only one home. If Bella had ever found out… your mother wanted to take action against Remus, for corrupting you. Mother talked her out of it, convinced her to keep it quiet, let you go stay with the Potters. So it was decided: you were no longer family. Aunt Walburgha blasted you off the tapestry, and we never spoke of you again. I was told never to speak to you either.”  
“And yet here we are,” Sirius said, raising his eyebrows at her.  
“You’re hardly the first one in the family with your preferences,” Narcissa laughed. “It’s not exactly something you can help. And it’s not as if it’s something you go about broadcasting. As far as I’m concerned, you are my blood, no burns in any tapestry will ever change that. So do you, or do you not, want to take on Rita Skeeter?”  
“I do,” Sirius said. “I have to make Harry’s life easier. And it would help if your son would stop making badges that say ‘Potter Stinks’ on them for one.”  
“What has Draco done now?” Narcissa asked, rolling her eyes. “That’s ridiculous.” At Sirius’ livid expression, she said, “Not that I don’t believe you—it’s just, well he’s a bit obsessed with Potter, well Harry, isn’t he? It’s gotten a bit out of hand. I’ll write him a letter if you insist, see if I can talk some sense into him, but he I doubt he’ll listen to me. You know how boys his age are. He just wants his father’s approval.”  
“I can’t say I did when I was his age,” Sirius responded.  
“You were a special case,” Narcissa argued. “Like I said before, he’s more like Regulus was, though not as withdrawn. I worry for him though. Maybe if you wrote to him…”  
“Narcissa I don’t think it helped any when I met him,” Sirius pointed out.   
“I don’t know,” Narcissa sighed. “Just—say you’ll write to him, and I’ll ask him to get rid of the badges. Neither of us can guarantee results, but it might help. And I’ll give you the name of a man I know in the legal department. If you give him my name, he’ll help you with Skeeter. Just scare her a little, really, but you may need his help later, depending on what she says about you later.”  
Narcissa summoned a quill and ink, and wrote down the name Wyston Greengrass. “Here,” Narcissa said, handing over the parchment. “I’m good friends with his wife, Colombe. They’re an old pure-blood family—and no, don’t give me that look, they were never Death Eaters. Colombe was in Slytherin with me, though Wyston was a Ravenclaw. Regardless, he should take care of you. Just—not that you would see him—but I would rather Lucius didn’t know I helped you with this. It isn’t a secret, but the less he thinks I am in contact with you, the better.”  
“I don’t plan on seeing Lucius, and if I do, I don’t plan on having a chat with him,” Sirius said as he took the parchment and slipped it into his pocket.   
“This business with Skeeter,” Narcissa said, “Did it start after Harry was chosen as Champion, or did you have earlier experiences with her?”  
“She covered the trial,” Sirius said. “I didn’t read it, but Remus said she took my side. After I was released, she wanted an interview, followed me around, caught me out with Harry a few times, tracked me down at work. It was annoying, but I never thought she had anything.”  
“Was Remus ever there?” Narcissa asked.  
“Yes,” Sirius admitted, frowning. “Twice, I think. She recognized him at King’s Cross, but didn’t suspect anything. She just assumed I’d hired him as a chauffer or something.”  
“Hm,” Narcissa said. “You shouldn’t tell Wyston about your relationship unless necessary, clearly, but I think he will handle it well if the truth comes out. And Skeeter may find out. Nobody knows how, but she has way of finding these things out.”


	27. Chapter 27

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Remus and Sirius discuss Horcuxes

Sirius frowned and crumpled up his letter, then tossed it across the room. Crouch had informed him that letters between champions and their parents would be subject to light anti-cheating spells, but would remain unopened. That left Sirius with the task of telling Harry how to get past a dragon without _telling_ him how to get past a dragon.

“I reckon I can’t use the word dragon at all,” Sirius conjectured.

“Probably not,” Remus mused, hardly looking up from his book.

“Remus, you’re supposed to be paying attention to me,” Sirius complained. “I might be able to see him on the day of the competition, but it wouldn’t give him time to practice… and we might be overheard and reported. Though getting him disqualified might not be a bad thing, come to think of it.”

“Just tell him that hilarious story of that time you used a conjunctivitis curse on some older Slytherin, and used his temporary incapacitation to confuse him so he couldn’t hex you and you could escape. I don’t know. Make him sound imposing and dragon-like,” Remus suggested.

“And you think Harry will pick up on it?” Sirius questioned.

“I don’t know,” Remus sighed. “I mean, he’s good at putting things together. That’s how he found out about the sorcerer’s stone.” Sirius nodded and started scratching away on his parchment. After a few minutes, Remus asked “Do you know anything about Little Hangleton?”

“Little Hangleton?” Sirius asked, looking up from his letter. “No. I’ve never heard of it. Why do you ask?”

“It’s where Tom Riddle Sr. was from,” Remus answered. He crossed the room with the old directory he had been flipping through. “He was the muggle mayor for a time it appears. I’ll have to travel there, see if he’s buried there. If we think Voldemort might use that re-incarnation potion, he’ll need his father’s bones. I don’t know if you could talk people in the Ministry into keeping an eye on the graveyard.”

“I don’t see how we could do that without explaining Harry’s dream,” Sirius said with a frown. “And I don’t want to draw attention to any connection Harry might have to Voldemort. I doubt Scrimgeour would take it seriously anyways. But maybe one of the other Order members…”

“Do you really think we’re at that point?” Remus asked. “And doing it behind Dumbledore’s back… He doesn’t even seem to want us doing this.” Dumbledore had provided little to no information, only saying that he had what he considered a good enough understanding of the situation. Whatever that meant. He didn’t seem to understand that Remus and Sirius were no longer kids, newly graduated, and were adults, responsible for a teenager, capable of making their own plans. “There’s still the issue of what form he’s in right now,” Remus pointed out. “For him to be alive he his soul has to have a physical vessel. I’m researching it, but even the darkest texts only make the vaguest allusions… it’s like there’s something that’s too horrible to say.”

“Could it be—” Sirius cut himself off and made an odd convulsive gesture, causing Sirius to frown. “It’s just a rumor really,” Sirius said at last. “Horcruxes. Something people say to scare you. Tearing your soul in two. I don’t think—it can’t actually be real.”

“I’ve never heard of them,” Remus admitted.

“Yes, well I’m sure we have books on them somewhere,” Sirius said. “But Remus, it’s the darkest of the dark. Even my parents were terrified of that kind of stuff. There’s stuff that once you do, you aren’t human anymore. I suppose that wouldn’t hold Voldemort back. Maybe he didn’t care.”

“I don’t think he cared about much,” Remus mused. “Not if it gave him power. I think that’s all he cared about. I think that’s all there is left to care about once you lose everything else that makes you human.” Remus frowned for a moment, and almost managed to hide the flicker of shame that crossed his face, but before he knew it, Sirius was at his side, pressing his lips to Remus’ cheek.

“You, my love,” Sirius whispered. “Are very human.”

“Only most of the time,” Remus grumbled.

“Yes, and I think I spend a great deal more time as a dog,” Sirius pointed out, running his fingers through Remus’ hair. “And I don’t know how much time Minnie spend as a cat, but I’m not sure you want to question her humanity either, because that’s a pot of boiling water I don’t think you want to be stepping into.”

“Hm, I suppose not,” Remus sighed, as Sirius’ hands moved to massaging his shoulders. “She still scares me a bit.”

“As she should,” Sirius agreed. “Now put those away. You can read about horcruxes tomorrow, in the light of day. And I’ll go to Narcissa’s friend Greengrass, and see about shutting Skeeter up, and I’ll see if there’s anything he can do to help put a stop to that awful anti-werewolf legislation too. How does that sound?”

“Good,” Remus admitted with a smile. He got up and stretched, then turned to Sirius. “I’m going to take a shower then.” He paused at the door and turned back with a grin and added, “if you finish up that letter quickly, feel free to join me.”


	28. Chapter 28

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Shameless fluff

Light streamed in through the bedroom window and onto the sleeping form of Remus Lupin. Careful not to wake the slumbering wolf beside him, Sirius reached out and took hold of his lover’s hand, which was lying between their faces, palm up. Remus’ hands had changed, Sirius mused as he ran the pads of his fingers over the familiar lifelines, scraping over new callouses, feeling the roughness. As he threaded his fingers through Remus’ long, slender finger, he felt familiar toes scrape up his shins, and looked up to see amber eyes cracked half open smiling down at him.

“Somebody’s awake,” Sirius commented.

“Maybe I could have slept longer if somebody wasn’t fondling my hand,” Remus replied, but stretched all the same, and settled back down, wrapping his arm around Sirius’ waist and pulling them closer until they were practically nose to nose. “Very rude of you.”

“You’ll just have to punish me for my bad behavior,” Sirius teased, but Remus was far more interested in basking in the glow of the morning than in paying attention to Sirius’ innuendo. It wasn’t until he felt Sirius’ hand travel lower that he understood what his partner was getting at.

“What are you doing Sirius?” He demanded, opening one eye.

“Touching your butt,” Sirius answered with a grin.

“Why may I ask?” Remus asked.

“Because I can,” Sirius said. “And it’s rather nice. Lily and I agreed you had the nicest arse out of everybody in our year. Boys and girls.”

“I’m flattered,” Remus grumbled.

“Do you want me to move me hand?” Sirius asked.

“No,” Remus sighed. “I just want to cuddle.”

“Of course love,” Sirius said, planting a kiss on Remus’ forehead. After some time, when Remus had drifted off again, Sirius lifted his hand to brush through his lover’s hair, where the familiar caramel color was streaked with greys and silvers. He remembered when Remus had found his first strand of gray, he had been standing in the bathroom of their first apartment, still dripping wet from is shower, scowling into the mirror, and had called Sirius in, to complain to him.

_“You’re aging me pre-maturely, Padfoot,” Remus said, holding the hair in front of his mate’s face. “I’m twenty years old. I should not be going grey.”_

_“In my defense, I think it may have more to do with the savage wolf you share a body with that me,” Sirius argued._

_“Don’t act all innocent,” Remus said, eyes narrowed. “You know you’re the problem. If I didn’t have to worry about you going out and getting arrested with James, or accidentally killing Harry, or pissing off a Death Eater and getting blasted to bits, or…”_

_“Okay,” Sirius sighed, and wrapped his arms around his lover, kissing his neck. “I apologize for making you go grey. “But I promise you can be my kept boy anyways.”_

_Remus snorted and nuzzled Sirius hair, then turned away to throw away the hair, but Sirius grabbed it from him. “What are you going to do with that?” Remus demanded._

_“You’ll see,” Sirius said, then turned around and left the bathroom to get the Spell-O tape. When Remus emerged from the bathroom in one of Sirius’ soft band t-shirts and boxers, Sirius gestured to the previously bare wall. “You always said we needed more art.”_

_“You arse,” Remus said, and kicked his mate, when he saw his grey hair taped to the wall, with a caption, written in pen bellow, “Baby’s first gray hair.”_


	29. Chapter 29

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Sirius and Kingsley go to Hogwarts to run security for the first task

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm really not sure I like this chapter at all... eh

It seemed that the First Task came too soon, and though Harry indicated he had a good idea what he was going to do about his dragon, he made no indication he had picked up on Sirius’ hints. Luckily, Sirius would be attending the event, though he would likely not be able to speak to Harry until afterwards, as he would be working.

“Really, we’re just glorified watchdogs at this point,” Sirius grumbled as he pulled on his boots. “Going to places we think Death Eaters might show up, but it’s not as if we ever have anything to go on.”

“Half of our Order work was useless stake-outs,” Remus pointed out.

“And the other half were battles,” Sirius said. “It’s not like I want a war, I just feel _useless._ I know he’s out there, and I know he’s doing something, and I feel like I’m not doing anything.”

“You could help me with me research,” Remus suggested. “I did some reading on just how horcruxes are made, and it made me rather ill.”

“No thank-you,” Sirius said emphatically. “I’ll let you give me the summary. Just like in school.”

“Well, basically you have to kill a person,” Remus said.

“Yeah, I knew that,” Sirius said.

“That’s really all you want to know,” Remus said with a grimace. “You just focus on keeping our godson from getting roasted alive today, okay? I’ll handle the potential living fragment of Voldemort’s soul.”

“Sounds like a plan,” Sirius said, then kissed Remus on the cheek. “I’m off to slay dragons then.”

“Alright,” Remus said, and, as Sirius stepped into the fireplace, smacked him on the butt. “Go get them.”

Grinning, Sirius released his handful of power and called “Three Broomsticks, Hogsmeade,” while waggling his eyebrows at Remus.

When he stepped out of the fireplace in the Three Broomsticks, Sirius saw Kingsley already waiting for him at the bar, talking to Madame Rosmerta. “Morning Sirius,” he said, lifting his hand from the bar. “You ready to check out the arena?”

“Let’s find Charlie,” Sirius suggested. “Then we can figure out what logistics we’re dealing with as far as the dragon goes. Bagman should be able to tell us the set-up for stands, and crowd control. Then we can check the grounds. I’ll show you all the secret entrances Peter knows about. If we can get a teacher at each entrance looking out for a rat, then we should have those covered. Then you and I can keep an eye on the gates before the event, and on the crowd for the actual event. I know it’s just kids, but all the same…”

“You can see Harry that way,” Kingsley pointed out. “Don’t get me wrong, I want to see dragons too. And if anything does go down, it’ll probably be when the champions are in the air.”

With a last wave at Rosmerta, Sirius and Kinsgley made their way made their way over to the grounds. Sirius didn’t know Kinsley well—Kingsley had still been a student during the first war—but he had grown to like him in the past few months. He was less brash than Sirius and Tonks, more likely to think things through, but far more reasonable than Scrimgeour.

“How’s Remus?” Sirius asked, as the pair passed by the familiar shops on the walk up to the castle.

“He’s doing well,” Sirius answered. “He’s been researching his own project. It’s been nice for him, having as many books as he wants. My family home has a decent library. But he’s rather upset about the new werewolf legislation. Won’t say anything about it, but I’ve been doing everything I can to stop it. I met with this man on the wizengamot Narcissa introduced me to. Anyways, are you seeing anybody?”

“No,” Kingsley said, shaking his head. “There’s hardly the time, with this job. I don’t see how you do it. Or Tonks. She always has somebody.” Sirius glanced up at a note in Kingsley’s voice and grinned when he noticed the other man’s cheeks darken just slightly.

“Are you jealous? Of Tonks? You fancy Tonks?” Sirius asked, smirking.

“Tonks is a nice girl,” Kingsley admitted. “But I don’t think she likes men very much. She has only had one boyfriend since I have known her. Besides, she has a girlfriend right now. Samantha, from the _Daily Prophet._ ”

“I can’t believe you fancy Tonks,” Sirius said, beaming, then punched Kingsley on the arm. They fell silent as they reached the gates and saw Filch, who scowled at Sirius and muttered something under his breath about “vandals” and “thumb screws” and “the good old days.”

“Good morning Mr. Filch?” Kingsley said. “Could you tell us where the dragon trainers are, please?”

Filch gave him a dirty look, but jerked his thumb in the direction of the quidditch pitch, where Sirius could see a great deal of commotion. As they got closer, they could see four dragons, one of which looked especially intimidating. Hoping Harry didn’t draw that one, Sirius scanned the bodies milling around the cages for a red head indicating a Weasley.

Kingsley seemed to spot him first and lifted a hand, calling out “Hey, Charlie,” in his booming voice, just as Sirius caught a glimpse of flaming orange hair. He smiled at the second oldest Weasley boy, who came jogging over, his sleeves rolled up, to reveal his arms covered in moving tattoos of dragons.

“Hello Black. Shacklebolt,” Charlie said, shaking hands with each man in turn.

“Sirius is fine,” Sirius said.

“We just want to go over your security pre-cautions,” Kingsley said breezily. “We trust you to take care of the dragons, or course. We’re just concerned about any potential sabotage. What can you tell us about the safety measure’s you’ll be taking.” While Kingsley asked specific questions about security measures, Sirius found himself asking questions about how likely his godson was to get turned into the dragon’s second breakfast, earning himself sideways glares from Kingsley, who was trying to hide his impatience, but failing.

“Harry is going to be completely safe,” Charlie assured Sirius. “We have many well-trained handlers ready to step in at any moment. And Harry’s a resourceful boy. Let me take care of the dragon.”

Smiling, Sirius tried to calm himself down, and focus on the logistics, instead of the dragon, and remind himself that his job was the best way he could protect Harry. Charlie would handle the Horntail. “Alright, we’ll walk the perimeter.” As Sirius and Kingley inspected the stands, Sirius couldn’t stop thinking about all the things that could go wrong. About seeing Harry’s dead body looking just like James’ had with his eyes closed. He wanted Remus to make him feel better.

“Severus is going to be guarding the gate.” Kingsley surprised Sirius so much he snapped his head up and hit it on the bleachers above him. “Sorry, Kingley said, his expression softening a little. “I can’t imagine having a kid doing something like this.”

Sirius swelled with pride to hear Kingsley refer to Harry as his kid, then returned to his task when he remembered that Harry was not his kid, that Harry’s parents were gone, forever. “Did you ever sneak anybody down here to make out?” Sirius asked, glancing around the bleachers.

“Yeah,” Kingsley laughed. “A few times. It’s sort of a rite of passage as a Hogwarts student. You? Did you and Remus ever sneak down here during games?”

“Not during games, no,” Sirius laughed. “James would have killed us. Besides, we didn’t want to risk anybody seeing. But at other times, we would come down here now and again.”

“It seems pretty secure down here,” Kingsley decided, circling back to the main entrance of the pitch then checking his pocket watch. “The judges get here in an hour, then the champions an hour after than, then the rest thirty minutes later. I think I ought to set up some additional protective enchantments on the forest border, and you can talk to teachers about other entrances.

Sirius nodded. He had asked Dumbledore to call a staff meeting so he could share all the secrets he knew from the map, though he and Remus had decided not to tell anybody Harry had the map. Not only would it let him be a kid, but it could also keep him safe, if the castle came under attack. It felt like a betrayal to Sirius, as he walked into the staff office, but as Remus had already become one of them, he felt he had better realign himself at some point.

“It would appear somebody has allowed a stray to wander in,” a familiar voice drawled from the back of the lounge. Sirius glared at the sallow face of Severus Snape, the man responsible for outing his mate, and leading to all this anti-werewolf legislation.

“Yes, your presence has been tolerated for far too long,” Sirius agreed, flopping down onto one of the chairs. The teacher’s lounge was much less exciting than it had been all those years when he had snuck into it for various pranks. Now it seemed like little more than a spare classroom with some tea along one wall, which was all, Sirius supposed, it really was.

“How’s your pet?” Snape asked, fixing Sirius with his beady black eyes. “Hope he isn’t finding the job market too competitive.”

Sirius matched his gaze, then hissed, “I swear, I would fucking tear you to pieces, and not regret a single second in Azkaban, if it weren’t for Harry and Remus.”

“You tried to do that once, I recall,” Snape said, his lip curling. “When we were fourteen. I think you rather regretted that.”

“You fucking bastard,” Sirius had half risen from his seat when the sound of footsteps announced the other teachers. Still glowering, he sat back down, but did not take his eyes off Severus Snape.

 

Sirius didn’t think he had ever been more proud than when he saw Harry holding that golden egg. After exchanging a nod with Kingsley, who was at the entrance to the stands, Sirius ran over to Harry’s side, just as the teen dismounted his broom.

“You were brilliant,” Sirius exclaimed. “Let me see those burns. Here, I’ll get you to Madame Pomfrey. But honestly, I’ve never seen anybody fly like that. It was amazing.” Sirius hugged Harry’s uninjured side, and kissed his temple, then pulled him in the direction of the champion’s tent.

“I really thought it was going to get me for a second there,” Harry admitted, jubilant. “But then I got away at the last second did you see? And know I got the hardest dragon? But I got the most point anyway, and Krum didn’t even think of flying.”

“How did you think of flying?” Sirius asked. “it’s loads better than my idea. I wanted you to use a conjunctivitis curse, like Krum did, but as you saw…”

“Well, to be honest…” Harry lowered his voice and glanced around, then whispered. “It was Professor Moody who gave me the idea, really. Sort of suggested it, you know. I mean, he just helped me figure it out. It wasn’t _really_ cheating.”

“Of course not,” Sirius said, frowning. It didn’t sound like Moody to give Harry advice like that. Maybe train him until he felt ready to keel over dead, but give him the answer? That wasn’t the Moody Sirius had trained under. Still, maybe he had gone soft with age, or Dumbledore had gotten to him. Anyways, all that mattered was that Harry was safe, and Madame Pomfrey would get his burn sorted.

After Sirius had delivered Harry safely to his friends, he made his way through the crowd to meet up with Kingsley again. He was just making his way through the sea of Hogwarts students, most of whom were decked out in Hufflepuff or Gryffindor colors, when he spotted the familiar blond hair and pointed face of Draco Malfoy. He was glad to see that Draco was not, at the very least, wearing a Potter Stinks badge anymore.

“Lost the badge have you?” Sirius said, nodding at the boy. Draco had the decency to blush slightly.

“What are you doing here?” Draco asked. “I didn’t know they allowed guardians to come.”

“I’m here professionally,” Sirius said, though truthfully he hadn’t done much. “Did you enjoy the task then?”

“Yeah, well, it’s hard not to find dragons entertaining, isn’t it,” Draco drawled. “Especially when you’ve got a name like Draco. I suppose Potter didn’t do as bad as I expected him to.”

“Seeing as he won the task, I’d say no,” Sirius said, grinning. “I hope you didn’t lose too much money there.”

“Well I’ve got plenty where that came from,” Draco bragged. Sirius rolled his eyes.

“And I suppose that impresses your friends?” He asked, laughing a little, and earning himself a glare. “I really have got to get back to work. Just stop being a little bitch, alright?”

Leaving Draco with a clap on the shoulder, Sirius ran off to go meet up with Kingsley, who was talking to Moody. “Hey,” Sirius said, approaching Moody. “I heard you gave Harry some advice with the dragon.”

“You?” Kingsley asked, his eyes practically popping out of their sockets.

“Just pointing him in the right direction,” Moody mumbled. “Dumbledore’s orders.”

“Well thanks,” Sirius said. “He did brilliantly. Any problems Kingsley?”

“None at all,” Kingsley said. “No sign of any rats, or anybody who shouldn’t be here. Just kids.”

“I’ve got to get back to the castle,” Moody said, looking extremely uncomfortable. “Papers to grade.”

“Yes, well I suppose you’d better,” Sirius said, waving to him. “Thanks again.”

As soon as Moody disappeared in the crowd of students, Kingsley turned back to Sirius and asked, “Do you think he’s been acting odd? I mean, offering Harry help like that… It’s not like him, don’t you think?”

“I haven’t really known him in twelve years,” Sirius admitted. “I don’t really know what’s like him anymore and what isn’t. It wasn’t like him when I was training under him, but if he’s as paranoid as they say, maybe he’s just doing his part to make sure Harry survives. And I’m certainly not going to complain about that. He thought of something much safer than I did, and I can’t be fussed about Harry getting an unfair advantage in a tournament he didn’t choose to enter.”

“Hmm,” Kingsley hummed. “It’s just, he never liked to help us or give us the answer when he could help it. Wanted us to think on our feet, be prepared for when he wasn’t there. Always said he could die, and then we’d be in trouble if we depended on him for the answer. But I suppose if he’s just trying to get Harry through the year, and maybe he’s just acting under Dumbeldore’s orders. Funny thing is, I can’t really imagine Moody acting under anybody’s orders.”

Sirius hummed in agreement as they made their way back to the Ministry, but quickly let thought of Moody’s strange behavior slip out of his mind.


	30. Chapter 30

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Sirius and Harry discuss holidays, Harry's Yule ball predicament, and a trip to the graveyard

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Bi Harry begins (just a little bit)

“What do you want to do for Christmas?” Remus queried as he set down a mug of hot chocolate before Sirius. Sirius smiled gratefully when he felt Remus’ weight occupy the couch beside him, and then familiar feet filled his lap, demanding to be massaged.

“I don’t know,” Sirius said with a shrug. “With Harry gone, it’ll just be the two of you. I figure we can just hang out here, unless you’d like to travel.”

“Here’s fine,” Remus agreed. “Do you want to invite anybody over? I imagine we might get some invitations from Molly, or former Order members.”

Sirius shrugged as he took a sip of his hot chocolate, to which Remus had added just the right amount of peppermint. “Maybe we could have a few friends over. I’d like to get together with Andromeda and Ted and Tonks. But for Christmas Day… I’d rather just spend that with you.”

“What do you think we ought to get Harry?” Remus asked.

“Sounds like what he wants is advice about girls,” Sirius laughed, causing Remus to grin.

“Yes, his last letter was rather desperate,” Remus agreed, glancing down at the parchment they had received that morning.

 _Why do they always travel in packs? How do I get one alone? Who do I even ask? There’s one girl I think is pretty, but she’s a year ahead of me, and really popular, and I’m sure somebody’s already asked her. If I ask a girl, does that mean it’s a date? What if I just want to go to the ball with a girl, but I don’t, you know_ like _her? Why does this have to be so complicated? Can’t I just come home so I don’t have to deal with this? What would you do? Well, I suppose you wouldn’t even be taking a girl. My friends Dean and Seamus are going together, but they say it’s just as friends. Hermione doesn’t believe them though. She says they look at each other like they like each other, you know? I don’t know. Would it be easier to ask a boy? Probably not. People would probably just laugh at me. Not that its bad, or anything. I don’t know. I don’t know what to do!_

“Yes, he certainly needs help,” Sirius agreed. “Though I think we are the last people to go to for advice on girls.”

“Though I can certainly see what Hermione is saying about Dean and Seamus,” Remus said, laughing a little. “To be honest dean had a bit of a schoolboy crush on me. Don't give me that look, Sirius. Plenty of kids had crushes on teachers. We should tell Harry to just ask a friend, and not worry so much. Maybe Hermione’s free. Or even Ron, if he’s open to the idea, though he probably would get teased.”

“Well I don’t know, if he likes a girl, no harm in asking,” Sirius said with a grin. “It sounds like Harry’s got a little crush. It’s cute, really.”

“I wonder who it is,” Remus mused, thinking over all the students, though there were far to many for him to be able to guess which one had caught Harry’s eye. “Hand me that parchment, love.” After summoning a quill and ink from the next room, Remus started penning a response—with Sirius’ constant input—advising Harry to ask his crush, but not to worry too much if he didn’t succeed

_Honestly, Harry, it’s probably best to ask a friend. When I was dating Sirius, I used to go to dances and events like this with my friend Dorcas, or your mum (before she was dating your dad, of course.) Dorcas was dating a Ravenclaw girl, Marlene, who would usually go to events with Sirius, so most people thought they were dating. As long as you like the person and can have fun with them, you’ll enjoy yourself. Don’t worry too much about the pressure for the night to be romantic. If you have feelings for your date, that’s excellent, but if not, just try to have a good time. And if you want to go with a boy, then ask him, and if anybody says anything bad about you ignore it. There will always be people with bad things to say, but Sirius and I think very highly of you, and so does everybody who matters_

“Anything else?” Remus asked, pausing to tickle Sirius’ nose with the quill feather.

“No, we’re boring old people,” Sirius complained. “We don’t have any news. Surely Harry doesn’t want to hear about our lives as senior citizens.”

“Stop being so dramatic Pads,” Remus complained. “You’re thirty-five.”

“Hmph,” Sirius groaned.

“If you’re bored you can come with me to the graveyard tomorrow,” Remus suggested.

“Why can’t I do interesting things like this for my job?” Sirius complained. “I’m just giving Peter’s description to muggle pet stores. All over Europe. And it’s been Hell explaining why it’s so important.”

“Well hopefully we’ll learn something tomorrow at the graveyard,” Remus said with a smile.


	31. Chapter 31

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Remus and Sirius travel to Little Hangleton

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This one is actually plot-based(!)

Remus pulled his coat tighter around himself against the rain that drizzled over the graveyard he and Sirius were exploring.

“Not exactly how I fantasized about spending my days off,” Sirius admitted. “I was expecting more lie-ins, breakfast in bed, morning sex. You know… not so much grave-yards in the rain. But whatever you like…”

“I never asked you to come,” Remus reminded his lover. “You could have stayed home.”

“But I would have been bored,” Sirius whined.

“I think it’s that big one,” Remus said, gesturing to the large, decorative headstone, and ignoring Sirius. They trudged around headstones to the largest of the group, which, sure enough, bore the names of the Riddles. “That’s odd,” Remus commented, reading the dates. “Tom Riddle Sr. died on the same day of his parents. Hold on…” Remus pulled out a notebook and flipped through, checking for dates, then turned to Sirius and said, “Voldemort was only seventeen at the time.”

“I wonder what Voldy looked like as a teenager?” Sirius mused. “Did he always look so… snakey?”

“You could ask Harry,” Remus said. “He saw some image of Voldemort’s sixteen-year-old self in the diary. But I want to know how his family died. I mean it could be nothing, but…”

“Well, no place to find out like the local pub,” Sirius suggested, jerking his head towards the town at the top of the hill. “And it would be an excellent excuse to dry off.”

“Sounds good,” Remus agreed. “I suppose our story can be that we’re real estate brokers, and we want to learn about the Riddle mansion. And if the conversation gets to anything muggle-y, you let me do the talking,”

“Yes, of course,” Sirius said, rolling his eyes.

“I don’t want to go obliviating muggles,” Remus said. “Again.”

“Of course not, Professor Moony,” Sirius complained, grabbing into Remus’ sleeve as they made their way uphill to town. When they reached town they separated enough to look like business partners, and found their way to the local pub. Locating drinking establishments was a special talent of Sirius’. When they got inside, they ordered a pint each, and sat at the bar with three of the local men.

“What are you doing out here, out in the rain, on a day like this, eh?” One of the men asked, turning to Remus and Sirius.

“Oh, we’re just passing through,” Remus said, smiling. “My name is John Lupin, and this is my partner, Cyrus Black. We’re in the real estate business. We’re interested in the Riddle Mansion actually. Came out here to take a look at it. Found out it recently went on the market.”

“Oh, you don’t want the Riddle house,” the barman muttered, sidling over to join in the conversation.

“Why is that?” Remus asked, turning around with interest.

“It’s cursed,” one of the local men said. “People who go in there… well, there have been some funny deaths.”

“Funny how?” Sirius asked, beer now forgotten.

“Well it started with the Riddles,” the oldest of the three men said. “It was a long time ago. Nearly about fifty years. And people were still talking about when Tom Riddle had run off with that Gaunt girl. Merope. Nobody knew why. She wasn’t much of a looker, and it wasn’t as if her family had much in the way of money either. Anyways, he was back and living with his parents, and then one day, they were all found dead, and not a mark on them. And the house was locked from the inside. The best the coroner could come up with was that they had all had heart attacks, because there wasn’t any cause of death.”

“Well,” the barman interrupted, “that’s not what everyone thought. We all thought it was Frank. The groundskeeper. See, the house was all locked up, but he would have had access. Anyways, we figured, maybe he poisoned them or something, with some poison that wouldn’t show up on the tests. There weren’t all the tests back then that we have nowadays. Anyways, Frank stayed on, as groundskeeper, just taking care of the place, up until this last August.”

“And that’s when the story gets really weird,” said another man. “Because they found Frank dead too. On August 23, the woman who usually brings him his medication didn’t find him at home, and he was in the Riddle House, dead, same as them. Not a mark on him, and house locked, from the inside, but this time nobody had the key. And so we all knew he hadn’t done it to the Riddles, but then who done it to him?”

Remus and Sirius exchanged a glance, then, after hastily finishing their drinks made their way out of the pub and towards the Riddle House.

“Sirius,” Remus began.

“I know,” Sirius muttered. “I’ll look into those deaths. It must have been an AK. I doubt Magical Law Enforcement looked into it at all, especially not the older ones. Do you think Voldemort killed his own parents. I mean I suppose if they were muggles…”

“No,” Remus interrupted. “ _Sirius._ August 23rd, the night Frank Bryce died, that’s the night Harry had his dream about Voldemort killing somebody. With Peter there.”

“You don’t think…” Sirius said. “Shit. What do we do?”

“I think we ought to go the mansion and investigate,” Remus suggested. “And then show Harry a picture of Frank without suggesting anything. See if he recognizes him, but without telling him who we think it is, or of course he’ll think it was the man he saw. We’ll have to think of some excuse. What do you remember Harry telling you about his dream?”

“Peter was there,” Sirius said immediately. “And somebody else, and obviously the guy who got killed. Frank, maybe. And…”

“The snake,” Remus finished, seeing the glint in Sirius’ eye.

“Ye-es,” Sirius agreed, closing his eyes with his mouth part-way open that way he did when he was trying to remember something.

“Come on then,” Remus said, and, taking hold of Sirius hand, pulled him in the direction of the Riddle House. They quickly by-passed the muggle security measures, and were inside the mansion. Sirius followed Remus around, while his lover searched for something, though Remus didn’t bother to tell Sirius what he was looking for and Sirius knew better than to ask. “Here it is!” Remus exclaimed triumphantly as he peered under a bed that was so covered in dust it didn’t look like it had been used in at least fifty years.

“What exactly is it?” Sirius asked, approaching the bed slowly, afraid of what he might find.

“Nothing that will bite,” Remus assured him as Sirius lowered himself to his knees. What he saw was a long, papery looking coil. “Not anymore. It’s a snake skin,” Remus explained, pulling it towards him. “A snake was definitely here, and it molted. And I think it must have been recent, because it isn’t even falling apart much.”

“Do you think it’s the snake from Harry’s dream?” Sirius asked, thinking that the snake to which the skin had belonged must have been very, very long.

“No way of knowing really,” Remus said. “Harry didn’t remember that well. I doubt he could describe the snake he saw. But I can probably find a reptile specialist who can tell me what kind of snake this is, and if Frank Bryce _is_ the man from Harry’s dream, that might indicate he saw real events. And if a snake was here… well Voldemort is a parselmouth. It wouldn’t be a surprise for him to make some, er, non-human friends.”

“Makes sense,” Sirius agreed. “Do you reckon I should tell Scrimgeour?” Sirius asked. “Because I don’t want to tell him all about Harrys dreams, but maybe the Auror’s could help us. And I don’t want him questioning you either.”

Remus frowned, then said, “It’s your decision really. You know him better than I do, but I don’t know how you could explain it without dragging Harry into it. It’ll just sound really coincidental. But I think we may want to bring Dumbeldore in.”

“I don’t know,” Sirius said, hugging his knees to his chest. “He never tells us anything. And that’s what ripped us apart last time… not knowing anything. If he let us into his secrets more, if we knew what we needed to know, maybe James and Lily…”

“It’ll be different this time,” Remus assured his lover. “We’re different now. We were just kids then, just out of school. We still treated him like our teacher. Now we’re adults, and we can demand to be treated like adults. Especially when it comes to Harry.”

“Am I really that different?” Sirius demanded. “You’ve had twelve years, and you’re all older and more mature, but I’m… I’m such a mess Moony. I don’t really feel like I grew twelve years older. I feel like I had those years taken from me but at the same time I feel aged so much beyond thirty-five years old. I don’t even know what that makes me.”

“It makes you a fighter,” Remus said, planting a kiss on Sirius’ forehead. “Now come on. We have a letter to write to Dumbledore.” Remus stood then pulled his mate to his feet, then they disapparated, arm-in-arm.


	32. Cahpter 32

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Talk about the Yule ball, and a short discussion about the Prank

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I don't really have an endgame for lightning era ships at this point. I think I might do Drarry because that's a popular ship, but if any people who are reading this regularly have favorite ships, let me know in the comments and I will consider. I'm open to just about anything as long as there isn't a huge age difference (no Snarry or Snape/Hermione.)

Remus came home to immediately be assaulted by tinsel, likely in coordination with the Christmas Carols playing on the record player in the sitting room. “I take it you’re decorating,” he said as Sirius strung tinsel in his hair.

“Yes,” Sirius said, grinning. “It matches, see?” Sirius held of a strand of Remus’ greying hair, grinning.

“Arsehole,” Remus groused, kicking at his shins, but smiled as he took off his overcoat and boots. “And I talked to a muggle reptile specialist. He was very curious as to how I got a venomous snakeskin, but he took a look at it anyways. He thinks the snake is probably _Vipera Ammodytes._ It’s a poisonous viper, and it’s found in southern and eastern Europe. Including Albania.”

“Shit,” Sirius groaned, rubbing his neck.

“All of these half pieces point to Voldemort,” Remus said, making his way to the kitchen. He was going to need a very strong cup of tea. “I went back to the Riddle House, but I didn’t find any other traces I’m guessing if Voldemort and Peter were there, which I’m finding more and more likely, they cleaned up after themselves. I’m meeting with Dumbledore tomorrow evening. You’re welcome to join.”

Sirius made a noise of displeasure, but brightened up when Remus added, “There’s a letter for us from Harry. I haven’t opened it yet. I figured we could to that together. Did you learn anything at work today?”

“Nothing of import,” Sirius said bitterly.

“I got a decent photo of Frank Bryce,” Remus added, handing over a large photo that he had cut out of the Little Hangleton newspaper. “I figure we can send it to Harry and ask if it looks familiar. We’ll just attach it to our reply.”

“Sounds good,” Sirius said, sliding open the envelope to Harry’s letter. He read the letter aloud as Remus fixed up hot chocolate. “Who are the Patil twins?” Sirius demanded, putting down the letter mid-paragraph, giving Remus no indication what he had read.

“Rude,” Remus said as he set down a mug in front of Sirius. “Is Harry bringing one of them to the ball. Is it Parvati? They’re nice. Parvati’s in Gryffindor with Harry. She’s friends with Lavender, who’s a little silly and quite gossipy, but they’re both quite kind. Padma is in Ravenclaw. She’s very laid back. I didn’t get the feeling the cared much about classes unless it was something that personally interested her, but she was really interested in a few subjects. I don’t think she was very interested in boys though.”

“Well, Harry’s going to the ball with Parvati, and Ron it going with Padma,” Sirius said, showing Remus the letter. “But Hermione won’t say who she’s going with.”

“Maybe it will be scandalous,” Remus hummed as he blew on his tea.

“Any conspiracy theories?” Sirius asked.

“I always thought there was something going on between her and Ron,” Remus said, frowning. “I mean, not going on, but some undercurrents, you know? I don’t know, maybe he’s just going to be jealous.”

“Remember when you went to that one spring dance with Mary MacDonald in fourth year,” Sirius said, laughing a little. “I was so jealous of you, though I didn’t quite realize it at the time.”

Remus smiled and took a sip of his tea. “The whole business was very uncomfortable,” he said. “And she took me behind the greenhouses for a snog, and I had no clue what to do with my tongue. It was all so confusing back then, with my feelings for you on top of everything. And things between us had just gotten back to normal with us, after the prank.”

At Remus’ last words, Sirius whole body stiffened up, and when Remus reached at to take his hand, Sirius shrunk away as if he expected to be struck. “Sirius, love,” Remus sighed. “That’s so long ago. I forgave you for that. You cant still think… it’s been ages. You don’t always think, that’s who you are, but you know I’m here to help you when you need me to slow you down.” Sirius shook his head, but let his lover take his hand this time, and pull him out of his chair and onto his lap. Without really knowing why, Sirius felt tears on his cheeks, but rough thumbs were brushing them away, as lips kissed the moist paths left behind. “Sh-sh,” Remus soothed, rubbing Sirius’ back. “It’s okay.”

“I—” Sirius choked out, “I saw that one all the time. Thinking you had hated me. Thinking I had hurt you. And then I couldn’t remember which version was the real version, anymore. Sometimes I couldn’t remember if Snape lived, or if you recovered, or if you ever forgave me, or if you hated me forever, and I would go thinking you never loved me, and---and—”

“It’s okay,” Remus murmured, stroking Sirius hair. He pulled away far enough to look Sirius square in the eyes and say “I love you, okay? I forgave for that twenty years ago, and you’re the one I want to spend my life with. What you did was wrong, but you were a child, and you learned from it. You grew up to be a better man. You would never do that today.”

“I never think things through,” Sirius cried in frustration. “If I’d have thought things through, James and Lily would be alive!”

“You had no way of knowing Peter would betray us,” Remus pointed out. “It isn’t your fault, Sirius. One day you’ll forgive yourself.” Sirius nodded into Remus’ shoulder, and they stayed like that for some time, Remus’ gently rubbing Sirius’ back and sides, petting his hair, stroking his cheeks, until Sirius unwound himself, stretched and washed out the tea-cups.

“Will you come with me this weekend to choose a Christmas tree?” Sirius asked.

“Of course,” Remus said, beaming. “Wouldn’t miss it for the world.”


	33. Chapter 33

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Remus and Sirius spent Christmas with the Tonks family

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Alright, according to comments, Hinny is what most people want, but feel free to keep letting me show ships you like

On Christmas Eve, Sirius and Remus prepared to make their way over to Ted and Andromeda’s, Christmas gifts in hand. “Do you reckon Harry’s gifts will get to Hogwarts in time?” Sirius worried as he glanced at the Christmas tree. It was only the twentieth time he had asked that question since sending the owl off.

“Love, we sent the owl off a week ago,” Remus pointed out. “Even in a blizzard, I like to think we have somewhat competent owls.”

“You’re right,” Sirius said, bouncing up and down on the balls of his feet just outside the fireplace. “I just want to make sure he knows we’re thinking about him. I wish we could spend the holidays together, you know? But I’m glad he’s enjoying himself…”

“Let’s just over, why don’t we?” Remus proposed, taking Sirius hand to pull him into the grate. “We’re already twenty minutes late. And, yes, you do look lovely. And if you didn’t spend so much time fretting over your make-up…”

“It’s a holiday,” Sirius huffed as Remus grabbed a handful of Floo Powder. “I have to look nice.”

“You always look nice,” Remus said, and planted a light kiss on Sirius cheek before throwing down the powder and calling out the address.

After the distinctly unpleasant experience of travelling by floo, Sirius and Remus emerged in Andromeda and Ted’s parlor, brushing soot from their robes. “Sirius! Remus!” Andromeda cried, rushing over to the fireplace from the kitchen, where Ted was busy putting a roast in the oven. “So glad you could come. Nymphadora is running late. She’s bringing her girlfriend with her. Samantha.”

“I haven’t met her yet,” Remus said, grinning as he shook Andromeda’s hand. “How are you? You look lovely as usual.”

Andromeda blushed and gestured towards the kitchen, “We’re just happy you two have made it. Having Sirius here for Christmas… it’s an unimaginable blessing.”

Remus squeezed Sirius’ hand until Andromeda filled each of their hands with wine glasses. They had just gotten onto the slightly lighter topic of this year’s Quidditch line-up when the fireplace roared again, and two figured appeared. Tonks had her hair a dark purple for the evening, and was wearing slacks, a crisp white shirt, and a suit jacket. Samantha, clutching onto her arm, was rather pretty, with curly black hair, dark olive skin, and deep brown eyes. She was wearing a very elegant white dress After quick introductions, they settled down in the living room with gifts and wine glasses.

“Tonks tells me you’re taking on Rita Skeeter,” Samantha said, turning to Sirius, smiling. “After that awful article she wrote about Harry. Of course, nobody believed a word of it.”

“Yes, well she shouldn’t be able to write whatever she wants,” Sirius groused.

“I’d love to see her go down, honestly,” Samantha said, grinning. “I mean, I don’t deal with her much, personally. I just format the stories, but everybody hates her at the _Prophet._ But her stories bring in money, and sometimes she reveals an actual scandal, so they keep her around. But she’s a right bitch.”

“You’re also trying to block that werewolf legislation Umbridge is pushing through?” Andromeda asked, entering last, with a plate or hours d-oeuvres.

Sirius glanced over at Samantha, who did not seem to react negatively, and he figured, working for the Prophet, she probably had read the various articles Skeeter had written shortly after Remus had gotten sacked. “Yes,” Sirius said. “I’ve still got a spot on the wizengamot, technically. Inherited it. And I’ve been sending out letter, you know. Mostly to people I know decently well, but Remus is probably going to write a letter to everybody on the Wizengamot, about why it’s the wrong way to go about things, and hopefully that will get through. I’ll have to actually attend sessions though, which I’m not looking forward to.”

“No, I imagine not,” Andromeda said, smirking. “I hear Narcissa set you up with some contacts. I know a few other people who might be sympathetic to you as well. I doubt Narcissa knows many werewolf-friendly people.”

“No, I didn’t get the feeling she did,” Sirius said stiffly.

“How is Narcissa?” Andromeda inquired, somewhat anxiously.

“Oh, well enough I think,” Sirius said. “Worried about Draco. He’s on his way to becoming a mini Death Eater, just like daddy, and apparently Narcissa doesn’t want that to happen. Sounds like a bit of lack of foresight on her behalf if you ask me.”

“Well, it wasn’t as if marrying Lucius was entirely her choice,” Andromeda said. “You know how it was in our family. You married who your parents told you to marry, or you got out. Not everybody is like us, and able to just run off. We both had somebody to run off to. And you were a boy, and would have had some choice in the matter. Narcissa was hoping for somebody else, trying to get some other boys interested enough to ask for our father’s permission, but Lucius ended up asking first. Anyways, she decided she was going to make it work as best she could, especially after she got pregnant.”

“Did you keep in touch with her?” Sirius asked, his brow furrowed. “I thought you were cut off completely.”

“I got letters ever now and again,” Andromeda said with a shrug. “More after Voldemort fell. I even got one from Regulus after your parents died, but it was very short. But I’m not allowed to write Narcissa, in case Lucius sees. She’s visited a few times, maybe once a year, and she’s met Nymphadora.”

“Mum,” Tonks complained, rolling her eyes. “Don’t call me that.”

“Sorry dear,” Andromeda sighed. “Well, she’s met _Dora._ ”

Tonks shook her head, seemingly satisfied that that was the best she was going to get, and laced her fingers through Samantha’s. “Anyways,” Andromeda said, turning back to Sirius, “Tell me how Harry is. I read all about the first task, of course, but I’d love to hear about it.”

The rest of the evening passed easily, with casual talk about Hogwarts, Quidditch teams, jobs, including Sirius constant frustration with the Auror department, and what Remus very vaguely referred to as “his own research.” The food was, of course, quite amazing, which Andromeda admitted was mostly thanks to Ted. Several bottles of wine later, and well past midnight, Remus and Sirius stumbled back through the fireplace, red-cheeked and laughing.

“We should do this more often,” Sirius said, once they landed back in the entryway.

“I agree,” Remus said with a smile, setting down the still unwrapped gifts under the tree. “I like your family. Well, _that_ part of your family. And Samantha seems nice.”

“She wouldn’t look you in the eye,” Sirius groused as the shuffled up the stairs, feet suddenly feeling very heavy.

Remus shrugged. It was true she had been a little colder to him, but it was hardly anything compared to the treatment he was used to from strangers who knew what he was. “I’m sure she’ll warm up to me,” Remus yawned as he pulled at the buttons of his robes. “She’s important to Tonks, anyways. It’s not worth it to get worked up about.”

“Moony,” Sirius groaned. “You can be upset about… things.”

“I know,” Remus sighed, crawling under the blankets next to Sirius, who had already left his clothes in a pool at the bottom of the bed. “I’m just… tired. Of all of it.”

Sirius hummed and wrapped his arms around his lover, then whispered, “I love you so much. You know that, don’t you?”

“Yes, of course,” Remus said, smiling. “And I love you too.”

“Merry Christmas Moony,” Sirius whispered.

“Merry Christmas Padfoot.”


	34. Chapter 34

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Harry write to tell Sirius and Remus about the Yule Ball; Remus and Sirius talk about teenage days

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okay, I feel really bad I haven't updated in forever. I was really trying to do at least something every week, but... finals happened, and it just took a lot out of me, and I've had no energy for weeks. So hopefully I'll be back to writing now :)

_Dear Remus and Sirius,_

_The Yule ball went well enough. It turns out Hermione went with Victor Krum! Everybody was surprised, and Ron seemed pretty upset about it. Now they’re kind of angry with each other because they had a fight that night, but they sort of made up. Things are just awkward. I had an alright time with Parvati, but she ended up dancing with another guy from Beauxbatons. I’m not a very good dancer, but I managed to not embarrass myself too badly for the opening dance. McGonagall didn’t even tell me I was going to have to dance in front of everybody until it was happening. Of course the other champions knew what they were doing. I mean, Fleur’s part Veela, so she can pretty much do anything and it’ll look good, and Krum was kind of awkward, but he plays quidditch so half of the girl’s are in love with him. I think Ron was until it turned out he was bringing Hermione. And Hermione looked really nice. Of course Cedric was really handsome, and Cho was really pretty, and then there was me. I kept stepping on Parvati’s feet. And she had gotten all dressed up and everything._

_But the food and the music were good, and I am glad I stayed. I kind of wish I could have just gone with Ron and Hermione, but Hermione seemed to have a good time with Krum. I guess she really likes him or something._

_I overheard something weird later that night. Ron and I weren’t trying to listen in—we were just trying to hide from Snape—but we accidentally overheard Hagrid talking to Madame Maxime. She’s the Beauxbatons headmistress. Anyways, Hagrid said that he’s a half-giant, and he asked if she was, but she said she isn’t. She got really mad at him and walked off. Ron told me that it’s really looked down upon to be a half-giant in the wizarding community. Is it kind of like being a werewolf? I didn’t know that Hagrid was a half giant? Should I tell him that I know? He didn’t want me to know and I feel bad that I found out, Ron reckons we ought to just stay quiet._

_As for the egg, I have no clue what to do about it. It just screams at me whenever I try to open it. Not even Hermione has any ideas. I don’t even know what to try. I don’t know any spells. Should I try to break it open? What if everybody else know what to do and I don’t? I guess I still have a few more months…_

_Anyways. I hope your holidays went well. Thank you for the sweets and the broomstick kit. Ron was very excited about the chess set, but he’s been making me play with him all day, and I keep losing. At least Hermione has a standing chance, but she gets very upset when he beats her. It’s kind of funny, actually, or it would be if things weren’t tense between them right now._

_As for the picture you sent me, I definitely recognize that man, but I don’t know where from. It’s really weird, it’s like I know I’ve seen him somehow, but nowhere I can remember. Certainly not here at Hogwarts, and I’m pretty sure I don’t know him from Little Whinging. I’ll write you if I remember._

_Merry Christmas,_

_Love,_

_Harry_

Remus frowned as he set Harry’s letter down, then turned to Sirius, who had been reading it over his shoulder. “Not what we were hoping for with Frank Bryce’s photo,” he sighed. “But we couldn’t expect more… maybe with more time.”

“But what he heard about Hagrid…” Sirius said and trailed off.

“I know,” Remus sighed. “I’m not quite sure what to tell him.”

“I think you’re the person in the best position to give advise,” Sirius said. “Other than Hagrid himself. Last year, when Hermione found out you were a werewolf, would you rather she had told you earlier, or just kept it to herself. Or if Harry had found out earlier.”

“I—I suppose I would rather she had told me. Definitely Harry, since we’re close. But that’s just me. I don’t know what Hagrid would want. It should be _his_ to tell. I know Harry didn’t mean to find out, and it’s probably for the best if he’s honest about knowing, but honestly it’s the worst feeling. When you and James and Pete told me you knew what I am it must have been the most terrifying moment of my life.”

“I know,” Sirius said. “And I’m sorry.”

“You were twelve,” Remus said with a smile. “And you’ve done so much more for me than I ever could have expected.”

“No more than you deserve,” Sirius said, reaching out to run his fingers through Remus’ hair. Remus smiled and leaned his head into Sirius’ touch, then returned to the letter in hand.

“It’s good to hear Harry just being a kid,” Sirius pointed out. “What with the fourteen-year-old love triangles.”

“Though Viktor Krum is quite a bit older than fourteen,” Remus pointed out with a frown. “Regardless, a fair dose of teenage drama will be good for Harry. He ought to learn to deal with these things. It sounds like he’s got a bit of a crush on Cho Chang.”

“Or Cedric,” Sirius added, resting his chin on Remus’ shoulder to read over the paragraph in question again. “I don’t know how many straight boys mention that their crush’s date is ‘handsome.’”

“I’m sure Harry’s very confused at the moment, Remus said with a chuckle. “I know I was. At least he has Hermione to be logical about everything.”

Sirius nodded in agreement. “When did you realize you fancied boys?”

Remus covered the frown quickly, unsure if Sirius wanted to reminisce, or if he honestly couldn’t remember. “Frank Longbottom I think,” He sighed. “So sad—what happened to him. But I remember when we were thirteen, and he was, what, seventeen? I thought he was so handsome. Of course I still rather fancied Emmeline, and then I started having feelings for you, and I thought Dorcas was quite pretty as well, and I never knew you could like boys and girls. I fancied so many people back then. It’s strange, remembering what it was like, before we bonded.”

“Do you regret it ever?” Sirius asked. Remus could tell this was the part of the conversation he had been trying to get to.

“Of course not love,” Remus said, reaching out to brush at Sirius’ hair. “I was just terrified you would leave me. And you didn’t. Well, not willingly, at least.”

“If Voldemort comes back…” Sirius started to say.

“He’s not taking you away from me again,” Remus said, perhaps a bit more possessively than he intended. “You and me and Harry, we’re making it through this. If he’s coming back… there’s nothing we’ll fight it, and we won’t die. I won’t let you.”


	35. Chapter 35

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Rita Skeeter exposes Hagrid's secret, and Hagrid exposes some other secrets

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> It's not Harry Potter if Hagrid isn't letting vital clues slip by accident

Remus and Sirius were enjoying pancakes, and Remus had just turned the page in the _Daily Prophet_ when he gasped.

“What is it?” Sirius asked, putting down his fork.

“Hagrid,” Remus groaned, passing the offending article over. “It’s Skeeter. She’s… found out about him somehow.” Remus muttered something that sounded suspiciously lie _little bitch_ and bit into his pancake with some viciousness.

“We have to—I don’t know,” Sirius admitted. “We have to get back at her somehow. We have to stop her. She can’t keep doing this.”

“Maybe,” Remus sighed, rubbing at his forehead. “It’s just…Hagrid loves his job. More than anything. He’ll be destroyed. And people will send him hate mail, and…”

“You should go talk to him,” Sirius suggested. “You understand, better than anyone. You’re good with words, and feeling, and… things.”

Remus laughed briefly, then said, “You’re right. I’ll write a letter to Dumbledore, ask to visit. Talk to Hagrid.”

“Good,” Sirius said. “I’d visit as well, but I have to go to the wizardgamot.”

Remus nodded stiffly as he drank his tea. The wizardgamot would be voting on Umbridge’s anti-werewolf legislation in less than a month, and Sirius had not convinced nearly enough members.

“I’ve almost convinced Amelia Bones,” Sirius reminded Remus. “Once I get her on our side, I think I can convince enough of the wizengamot to at least push back the legislation a little longer. I have three more weeks until voting.”

“Good, good,” Remus said as he got up to clear his plate. “Do you need anything from me?”

“No,” Sirius said. “I think it’d be best if you stay out of the process, to be honest. Many members of the wizengamot… well they wouldn’t take to kindly to seeing you, or any werewolf really. It’s horrible really, but…”

“I understand,” Remus sighed. “I’ll go send that letter to Dumbledore. See if I can’t cheer Hagrid up.”

 

By tea time, Remus had flooed into Hogsmeade and then made his way over to the castle, where Filch let him into the gates.

“Hagrid,” Remus said, knocking on the door. “Hagrid it’s Remus. I’ve come to see how you’re doing.”

There was silence for some time, and then, after the sound of Fang barking and a chair scraping, the door opened to reveal Hagrid, hair unkempt, and eyes puffy from crying. “What do you want?” He demanded.

“How about some tea?” Remus proposed. “I won’t stay if you don’t want me too. I just thought you might appreciate some company.”

Grunting, Hagrid stepped aside and opened the door enough for Remus to step inside and put some water in the kattle. He returned to the table to find a large tankard that smelled of fire-whiskey. “How about we throw this out?” Remus suggested, as he tipped the drink into the sink and began looking through the cabinets for tea. “Dumbeldore mentioned that you didn’t teach today.”

“That’s right,” Hagrid said with a slight slur.

“Are you going to teach tomorrow?” Remus asked, turning back to face the half-giant, who was settled back at the table.

“Maybe it’s better if I don’t,” Hagrid said. “If I leave. It’s what most of the parents will want.”

“There’s no need for that,” Remus said.

“You’re one to talk,” Hagrid growled, so low Remus almost didn’t hear.

“You’re right I suppose,” Remus admitted, sitting across from Hagrid. “I did leave, and I’m in no position to tell you what to do. But Dumbledore certainly wants you to stay, and I know Harry would be devastated if you left. And it’s not as if you would ever be a danger to the students. But that’s not what’s important. I just wanted to see how you were doing.”

“Well enough,” Hagrid muttered. “I just… I can’t stand to see their faces, you know? I mean, I know I’m not everybody’s favorite teacher, but I like to think they had some respect for me. And now… I don’t want to know what they’re saying about me. I know what people think about giants, about ‘half-breeds.’ I know Dumbledore will stand by me, but he’s already done so much for me.”

Remus made an indistinct noise in his throat while he poured the tea, then asked, “have you got any options outside of Hogwarts?”

“No,” Hagrid admitted as he accepted the large mug of tea. “I—I never made it through much school you know. And I’m not supposed to have me wand.”

“But Harry proved it wasn’t you,” Remus said. “And Ginny. Shouldn’t you have gotten your name cleared? All it would take would be to show the diary and have Harry and Ginny speak on your behalf, especially with Dumbledore on your side. You could get a wand if you wanted.”

“Yes, well—” Hagrid said. “Dumbledore didn’t really want to show anybody the diary. It being a powerful dark object and all.”

“What do you mean?” Remus asked. “Not even to clear your name?”

Hagrid shrugged, then said, “He said it was best if nobody ever found it again. Something that held a piece of You-Know-Who in it, I don’t blame him.”

“It…held…” Remus shook his head then said, “Hagrid—you knew Voldemort, didn’t you? Out of curiosity.”

“Well… not well,” Hagrid said. “I knew of him before everything with the Chamber. And afterwards… I saw him around the grounds. It was his last year, anyways, and I think he avoided me. But he was different after everything. Something changed him. He just seemed less, I don’t know, human somehow. Of course everyone still liked him, but he just felt off to me. I suppose killing somebody does that to you. I never thought he would have done something like that. Not Tom Riddle. But I guess you never know. Even back then I guess I should have known what he was. What he would become. He would have made things so bad for us. The way he used to talk about giants and werewolves… he used them for the war, but as soon as it was over, he’d do what the purebloods wanted. But Dumbledore always protected me, just like he always protected you. He took me in when nobody else would. Hogwarts is the only place I known.”

“Then stay,” Remus said emphatically. “You love it here. And the kids—they’ll get used to it. Perhaps I should have stayed… I don’t know. But this is your life. The creatures you’re raising, your classes. The forest. All of it. You’re important to Hogwarts and Hogwarts is important to you. Don’t let these pure-blood maniacs drive you out.”

“Your right,” Hagrid admitted. “Hogwarts—it’s my home. It’s always been my home. I don’t know what I’d do anywhere else.”

“Good,” Remus said, smiling to cover the fact that his mind was reeling from the information Hagrid had let slip. “I think it will be best for you. And you know Harry and Ron and Hermione won’t think any different of you.”

“I know,” Hagrid said. “They’re good kids.”

After a pause in which both men sipped their tea, Hagrid brightened and said, “blimey, I haven’t shown you the blast-ended screwts! You’ll love to see them. They’re really interesting.”

“Of course,” Remus said, forcing a smile. “I’d love to see them.”

 

“The diary was a horcrux,” Remus said as soon as he found Sirius in the sitting room.

“Hello to you too,” Sirius replied, setting down his crossword. “Seems you had a productive talk with Hagrid then.”

“It was good,” Remus said. “He’s going to stay and teach. But he said some things and it got me thinking about Tom Riddle’s diary, and Sirius I’m sure it was a horcrux. It had a piece of Voldemort’s soul inside it, which is how it possessed Ginny.”

“But—But Harry destroyed it,” Sirius said, frowning.

“Yes,” Remus said slowly.

“And if harry destroyed Voldemort’s horcrux, he should be gone, forever. Harry shouldn’t be having dreams. He wouldn’t be able to come back if Harry had already destroyed the last part of his soul.”

“Yes,” Remus agreed, then, after a pause, “unless… Sirius is there anything to say you can’t have more than one horcrux?”

Sirius blanched, then looked up at Remus, who continued, “think about it. He killed more than enough people. I don’t think he had any boundaries with what he was willing to do—and if he made one before he even came of age, what was to stop him from making more after? So maybe Harry destroyed one, but he’s still alive because there are more?”

“It’s possible,” Sirius muttered. “But the question is, how many?”


	36. Chapter 36

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Remus and Sirius meet with Harry to discuss Tom Riddle's diary

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Long chapter (Yay!)

_Harry, if possible, could you meet Remus and I during your next Hogsmeade visit? You aren’t in any sort of trouble, we just have a few questions for you. We don’t want to take time away from you and your friends, but we’d rather not wait until Easter break. If you could meet us, say, in the Three Broomsticks? Of course, I’m sure you’ll tell Ron and Hermione where you’re going, but we’d prefer if you didn’t tell any staff. You won’t be breaking any school rules, and if you get in any trouble we would take responsibility for it. If you can’t come, we will work something else out. We’re sorry if this seems alarming. We don’t mean t worry you, we’re just trying to understand certain things, and we believe you could help us._

_Also, have you gotten any further figuring out what your egg means? If you wanted to bring it along…_

On Saturday afternoon, Remus and Sirius waited in their room in the Three Broomsticks for Harry to arrive. They had already arranged for Rosmerta to direct Harry upstairs, not wanting any teachers to see them downstairs. Sirius crossed the room for what must have been the fifteenth time, and glanced out the window, scanning, no doubt, for a head of messy black hair.

“Suppose… maybe we should tell Dumbledore?” Remus proposed hesitantly. “Ask him about the diary. Maybe he’ll tell us this time. We were barely older than kids last time. If we go to him and tell him what we know—”

“He’ll do whatever he can to keep us from finding out more,” Sirius said firmly. “He kept too many secrets last time, Remus. And he’s always seen us as disposable. He left us both to rot for twelve years. And I don’t think he wouldn’t hesitate to do the same to Harry, if he was no longer useful. We have to protect him, even when that means protecting him from Albus Dumbledore. Remember this is the man who left him with those people, let him be raised alone and abused.”

“I should have…” Remus started to say, but Sirius cut him off again.

“No,” Sirius said firmly. “You didn’t have the power to decide where Harry went. Dumbledore did. You couldn’t even feed yourself. You don’t get to feel guilty about everything.”

“I’m just saying he’ll find out what we’re doing,” Remus said. “If Voldemort does come back, we need to be together. And if that means together behind Albus Dumbledore—he’s a good leader and he has good judgment. He does what is right.”

“At what cost?” Sirius demanded.

The two men were distracted from their—rather heated—conversation by a knock at the door. Remus spun around and Sirius’ hand went half-way to his wand before they heard Harry’s voice. “Remus? Sirius?”

With a sigh of relief, Remus went to the door and let Harry in. “Harry!” Sirius said, pulling his godson into a hug. “It’s wonderful to see you. How are you doing?”

“I’m doing fine,” Harry said with a shrug as he accepted a hug from Remus as well. “Just saw Ludo Bagman. He keeps trying to help me with the Tournament.”

“He’s probably got money on you,” Sirius said with a grin. “He’s very opportunistic.”

“I think the word you’re looking for is Slytherin,” Remus said with a smile. “Still, probably harmless, though it’s gotten him in trouble in the past. I wouldn’t worry about it if I were you, though Harry.”

“Is there anything I should be worried about?” Harry asked. “I couldn’t help but overhear…”

“Ah,” Remus said, glancing at Sirius for some sort of cue. “Well, you should know that keeping you safe is the first priority for me and Sirius. And sometimes we disagree with Dumbledore over what might be best for you. Now that Sirius is your legal guardian, we just want to be… informed.”

“I’m sorry, but I don’t really understand,” Harry admitted.

“The thing is, Harry,” Sirius said. “You attract trouble. Last year I was largely responsible for that, but in your first two years… You brought down Voldemort, and that’s going to have consequences. We want to be prepared in case anything similar happens, especially since your name came out of that cup. We’re trying to figure out as much as we can, but of course, you’re the one who has been there when Voldemort attacked you, so you would know best.”

“Alright,” Harry said slowly. “What do you need to know about?”

“Right now—the diary,” Remus said. “Tom Riddle’s diary. Anything you can tell us about it could help us figure out how much of a threat Voldemort might be. We’re not saying that he’s coming tomorrow, just that we want to know as much as we can if or when he does.”

“The diary?” Harry reflexively scratched his scar before he said, “Do you think he’s got another one somewhere?”

“Likely not,” Sirius said. “But if we can figure out what he’s done before, what he’s capable of… it might help us figure out what else he might have done.”

“Right,” Harry said. “Well the diary—it looked normal enough. Just an old diary. I suppose it was a little weird that it survived Ginny flushing it down a toilet. It was a little soggy when I found it, but it dried soon enough. Anyways, there was nothing written in it—nothing I could see. It was from a muggle store. Hermione was convinced it had hidden powers—she was sure Riddle had caught the heir of Slytherin, because we knew he’d won an award for special serviced to the school or something—and she tried all the revealing spells she knew. I remember being sort of drawn to it in a weird way. It felt familiar. The name T. M. Riddle felt familiar. I couldn’t explain it, but I kept finding excuses to examine it. Nothing happened until I tried writing in it myself—then he started replying. He was really eager to tell me about the Chamber of Secrets, and he sort of _showed_ me his memories. It was like I fell into the book and I was watching things without anybody seeing me. He showed me memories that made it look like Hagrid had opened the Chamber and Aragog was the monster. I suppose Ginny had already told him all about me, and he wanted to lure me into the Chamber. I fell out of the book again, and I didn’t get to talk to him again or see anything else because Ginny stole the book. I guess she went all the way to being possessed. She wouldn’t remember what she had done until after she had done it. He completely controlled her. I guess when she wrote in the diary and he wrote back it gave him some sort of power over her. I don’t understand it. He said—he said he was pouring his _soul_ into her _._

“When I was actually in the Chamber, it was like he was using the diary to take life from her and give it to him. He was becoming more real—more human and she was fading, dying. He was sort of fuzzy at first. More solid than a ghost, but as time went on he got more solid. He could control the Basilisk and everything. When I stabbed it with the Basilisk fang—I don’t know how I knew it was the thing to do, I just did—it sort of bled ink, and Riddle died. The diary seemed sort of dead as well. It seemed like he was in a lot of pain. Ginny woke up almost immediately. I don’t really understand how it worked. Dumbledore said Riddle was probably the most brilliant student to ever go to Hogwarts, so it must have been something complicated. And that’s really all I remember.”

“Thank you Harry,” said Remus, who had been taking notes. “This is really helpful. I know it seems strange, but we’re honestly just trying to gather as much information as we can. If you think of anything else, contact us by owl or by mirror.”

“Have you got any questions?” Sirius asked. “About the Tournament or about Voldemort? I may not be able to answer everything…”

“I’m still trying to figure the egg out, to be honest,” Harry admitted. “Whenever I open it up it screeches at me, and that can hardly be the clue. I mean, I doubt the next challenge is to, I dunno, screech at something. And the only clue I’ve got is—well, it’s stupid.” Harry blushed quickly and rubbed at the back of his neck as he said the last few words, causing Remus ans Sirius to exchange a confused glance.

“What hint do you have?” Sirius asked.

“Well, I told you that Hagrid told me about the dragons,” Harry said, to which Sirius nodded. “Well, Karkaroff knew, and so did Madame Maxime, so I figured they would tell Fleur and Krum, so it wasn’t fair if Cedric was the only one who didn’t know—and I told him.” Harry blushed even harder and avoided eye contact as he spoke, but continued, “Anyways, he told me he wanted to repay the favor or something, and he said I should, er, take a bath with the egg.”

“Take a—a bath?” Remus asked.

“Yes,” Harry said. “And he told me how to get into the prefect’s bath and everything. I thought he might just be winding me up or something, but he seemed like he was really trying to help me out. He’s generally a pretty fair player, but I don’t know what taking a bath has to do with anything.”

“I suppose you don’t know if you don’t try,” Sirius suggested. “There’s no harm in taking the egg for a bath.”

“But go at night,” Remus suggested. “Prefects tend to sneak into the baths with their, er—boyfriends or girlfriends if you understand what I mean.” Harry made a face, but Remus continued, “Take the cloak and the map. And Don’t use too many bubbles, or Mra Norris will catch you. We got caught that way once.”

“You and Sirius?” Harry asked raising his eyebrows, while Sirius chuckled at Remus’ expense.

“Um…” Remus said, scratching at his neck. “Just… go easy on the bubbles.”

“But they are really fun,” Sirius added fairly. “If you don’t figure out anything about the egg, you may as well have a nice bath.”

“But let us know if you do find anything out,” Remus said. “We can discuss the tasks over the mirror.”

Harry nodded, checked his watch, then gave a start. “I have to get back to the castle,” he said, standing up. “If I’m late I’ll get another detention.”

“Can’t have that,” Sirius said, exchanging a grin with Remus. James Potter’s on, in detention. Remus rolled his eyes, but they walked Harry to the door and watched out the window as he joined the last few Hogwarts students in the streets and made his way in the direction of the castle.

“Well,” Remus said with a stretch. “We may as well go home then.”

“Fancy a drink first?” Sirius asked. “I’ve always liked Rosmerta’s mead. It’ll be like we’re in school again.”

“I suppose a drink can’t hurt anything,” Remus conceded, and followed Sirius downstairs. The bar was cleared of Hogwarts students, and the locals were starting to drift in. They saw a table of goblins depart, muttering angrily to one another. “I’ll find a booth,” Remus muttered. “Why don’t you get the drinks?”

Sirius nodded and made his way to the bar, where he flirted shamelessly with Madame Rosmerta, then returned with two large tankards of mead. “I got a discount,” Sirius said triumphantly.

“For what?” Remus asked.

“I just told her how much I missed her drinks during those twelve, long, cold, miserable years in Azkaban,” Sirius said with a wicked grin.

Remus rolled his eyes and said, “You have got to stop playing that card all the time.”

“Rosmerta likes me though,” Sirius said, taking a sip of him mead, then licking the foam off his upper lip. “And she said the two of us are quite cute together.”

Remus glanced around to make sure nobody had heard Sirius’ last comment, then growled, “Did anybody hear?”

“Of course not Moons,” Sirius sighed. “She’s discrete.”

Sirius’ assurances aside, Remus drank his mead quickly, looking forward to getting home as soon as possible. Just as Sirius had almost drained his tankard, the last person either of them wanted to see entered the bar. Rita Skeeter. Remus groaned and glanced around for an escape route, but every path to an exit made them more noticeable than simply staying in the booth, and Skeeter had a photographer. “Don’t. Say. Anything,” Remus hissed at Sirius. Sirius nodded, but watched carefully as Skeeter ordered drinks and settled at a table, talking loudly to her photographer about Ludo Bagman.

Remus couldn’t really be arsed what she said about Bagman, until she said, “Need a nice follow up to that article on the Half-Giant, don’t we Bozo? If we could only get a good photograph. But I suppose the great brute doesn’t leave the grounds much…”

Remus was so distracted by his own feelings of white-hot hatred for the woman, that he didn’t notice Sirius rising to his feet until it was too late.

“No,” he hissed, grabbing Sirius’ sleeve, but Skeeter had already noticed them.

“Well,” she said, her quill snapping to attention. “If it isn’t Sirius Black. Checking up on Harry no doubt? I suppose you must be worried after what you heard in last week’s _Prophet.”_ She noticed Remus, still sitting down and trying to pull a growling Sirius back into the booth. “Or maybe,” Skeeter said, her eyes widening, “You don’t have such a problem with _dark creatures_ after all. Yes, I know you’ve been all over the wizardgamot.”

“Don’t you dare say that about Hagrid,” Sirius said, his voice dangerously low and cool. “You have no right to but your way into innocent lives, and rip them apart. You disgust me.”

“Please,” Remus whispered. “Let’s just get out. You’re drawing attention.”

But Sirius threw off Remus’ arm and approached Skeeter’s table to say, “You are vile, your writing is a great load of shit, and I will destroy you.” He reached out, grabbed her quick-quotes-quill and snapped it in half, throwing the two pieces on her lap. “if you ever write about me, or the people I care about again, I will end you.” With those words, Sirius grabbed Remus’ arm and dragged him in the direction of the floo. Glancing over his shoulder, Remus saw Skeeter look significantly between him and Sirius.

“Come on Bozo,” she snapped. “I think we have all we need.”

As Remus and Sirius threw down the floo powder to make the journey home, they heard the sound of several photographs being taken. When they arrived in their living room, Remus said, “Sirius, I think Rita knows about us.”

“I don’t fucking care,” Sirius exclaimed. “It’s not as if she has any proof.”

“Yet,” Remus said with a frown.


	37. Chapter 37

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Sirius brings home a strange beetle, and then Remus and Sirius discuss the second task with Harry.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi! I still exist. I finally got around to writing, and I have an entire chapter to show for it

Remus was preparing dinner when he heard the rush of flames in the fireplace, and went out to see Sirius with a look of triumph o his face. “The wizardgamot is voting about Umbridge’s bill next Thursday, and Amelia thinks it’ll fall flat on its face.”

“That’s great,” Remus said, rewarding Sirius with a kiss on the cheek, but he pulled away quickly.

“What are you doing?” Sirius demanded as Remus started swatting at his sleeve.

“There’s a bug,” Remus said, causing Sirius to quickly shake off his outer cloak and run to higher ground on the stairs.

“Kill it!” Sirius squealed (though he would later deny that any such sound came from his mouth.)

“Honestly,” Remus grumbled as he pulled out his wand and summoned a glass from the kitchen. Soon the bug was trapped under the glass, which Remus had picked up.

“You’re not killing it,” Sirius pointed out as he slowly approached Remus and the jar.

“No,” Remus admitted. “I’m looking at it. It’s some sort of beetle.”

“I forgot,” Sirius grumbled. “You were one of those weird kids who caught bugs for fun.”

“But I’ve never seen these marking before,” Remus breathed, pointedly ignoring Sirius’ last comment. “It must be foreign. You probably picked it up at the ministry, maybe from the Department of International Magical Cooperation or something. Anyways, I doubt it’s venomous, and there’s really no reason to kill it.”

“Other than the fact that your boyfriend hates insects,” Sirius interjected.

Remus glared at him then said, “I’ll take it outside. Release it by the lake. It’ll probably freeze to death, but we might as well give it a fighting chance.”

When Remus returned, Sirius had his mirror out and appeared to be talking with Harry. “What’s the news?” Remus asked, leaning over Sirius’ shoulder to see Harry’s face in the mirror.

“It’s in the lake!” Harry exclaimed. “The second task. I went up to the prefect’s bathroom, and I listened to the egg underwater, and it said _come seek us where are voices sound, we cannot speak above the ground. And hour long we have to look, to recover what we took._ Or something like that at least. And Myrtle was there, and she helped me figure it out about the mermaids, because they’re in the lake. But they’re going to take something, I guess, and I can’t hold my breath for an hour. I mean, I’ve had swimming lessons, but still.”

“Okay,” Remus said slowly. “So what you need is a way to breathe underwater. And also how to deal with any creatures you might find down there. I don’t know how hard it will be for you to actually find the mer-people, but a tracking spell couldn’t go amiss.”

“Bubble-head charm?” Sirius suggested.

“Maybe,” Remus said with a frown. “But it takes concentration, and if you get distracted and you’re at the bottom of the lake…”

“Something else then,” Sirius said. “Bubble-head charms are difficult. But handy if your roommate is farting all night and you just want some fresh air.”

“That’s not exactly the intended use,” Remus said. “You ought to learn it I think, and practice in the bath or something, but we should try to figure something else out. Something more reliable.”

“Don’t you think—well isn’t it cheating if you help me?” Harry asked.

“You didn’t ask for this,” Sirius insisted. “Those other kids—they wrote down their own names. You didn’t. You got sucked into something you didn’t want, something you’re too young to be facing. You can use any resource you need. And if you get caught and disqualified—well I’d sleep easier.”

“I don’t want to make a fool of myself,” Harry admitted.

“You won’t,” Remus insisted. “We’ll make sure you know what you’re doing. I doubt we can count on Mad-Eye to give you a hint again.”

“And I’m sure you’d like a decent shot at winning,” Sirius added with a grin. “Your father had quite the competitive streak, you know. And as seeker I imagine you do too.”

“Yes, maybe,” Remus said. “But you aren’t your father, and I hope you don’t do anything stupid just to impress some girl.” Harry made some sort of face that Remus couldn’t read, so he added, “or boy as the case may be. The point is, don’t take risks you don’t need to take. Second—or even fourth place—and alive is far better than first and seriously injured.”

“Yeah, and you’re famous enough without being tri-wizard champion on top of all of that. Skeeter would have a hey-day,” Sirius added.

“I hope not,” Harry groaned. “I don’t want to be in another one of her articles. Ever. Again.”

“Well, Sirius may have pissed her off in the Three Broomsticks after you left,” Remus said, glaring pointedly as Sirius.

“It’s not my fault,” Sirius insisted. “She was saying awful things about Hagrid, and I don’t exactly have much control over my temper.”

“No, you don’t,” Harry said with a laugh. “The fat lady told me I should be careful, living with you.”

That’s not my best moment, and I’d really appreciate it if people didn’t keep bringing it up,” Sirius sniffed.

“Not likely,” Remus said. “Harry, is there anything else you’ve found out about the tri-wizard championship?”

“Well, it’s not directly about the tournament,” Harry said, “but something kind of weird happened after I’d gone to take the egg to the prefects’ bath. I saw Snape and Filch talking, and Snape said somebody had broken into his office. Then Moody came, and Snape said he thought somebody was brewing an illegal potion. He was really angry with Moody. Apparently Moody searched his office or something. Moody threatened him, and Severus touched something on his arm. Anyways, I had dropped the map, and Moody tried to take it for me—he can see through the cloak—but Snape saw it first, so he thinks I’m the one who’s been breaking into his private stores. But the thing is, before I saw any of them, I saw Barty Crouch in Snape’s office, but it wouldn’t make any sense for Crouch to be there, would it? Moody reckoned Crouch is trying to catch dark wizards, but I don’t think he was telling me everything. Anyways, he asked to borrow the map, and seeing as he had helped me get out of trouble, I let him have it. He said he needed it for something. It just—feels odd to me.”

“It is a little odd,” Sirius agreed. “Moody—he’ll go to almost any lengths to catch dark wizards, and I suppose if he saw a surveillance method, he would want to take it. Still, I can’t see him taking belongings from students, and the Moody I knew would have had you in detention.”

“I get the feeling he was too concerned with the map to think of giving me detention,” Harry said.

“Alright,” Remus sighed. “Well, let us know if you find out anything new, and we’ll tell you if we think of something to help you breathe underwater.”


	38. Chapter 38

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The results of the wizardgamot vote

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is just a really short filler chapter, and it's not that good, so sorry

In the end Remus never thought of an excuse to be in the Ministry, but he hovered in the atrium on the day of the decision all the same. Umbridge’s bill was expected to fail, but by a very slim margin. Sirius had managed to convince many people that it was simply spiteful, and would only encourage werewolves to form more packs, driving some to Greyback. Still, there was enough prejudice, and enough Death Eaters to make a slim majority.

Remus had almost worn holes in the soles of his shoes by the time he started to see people in Wizardgamot robes emerge from the lifts. He craned his neck, trying to see Sirius in the crowd, but the first familiar face he saw was Amelia Bones. She made eye contact with him, and gave him a brief thumbs-up. Remus was too giddy from the news, that he didn’t hear Sirius approach from behind him.

“It failed,” Sirius said, grinning. “We beat her.”

“You did,” Remus said. “I—I could kiss you right now, but I think that would be a rather bad idea.”

“We can wait until we get home,” Sirius suggested, wiggling his eyebrows.

“We can,” Remus agreed. “We can do whatever you want.”

“I just want you to be happy,” Sirius said. They exchanged another smile, then made their way to the floo network.


	39. Chapter 39

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Remus and Sirius remember about gillyweed, after using a different kind of weed

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> cw: drug use (marijuana)

Two days before the full moon, Remus was curled up in the library with a cup of tea and a soft blanket looking through books of magical plants and fungi. He had grown up tending a wizarding garden, and herbology had always been a strong subject for him, and he was sure there was a plant, but he couldn’t remember. The roaring in the fire-place told him that Sirius had come home over an hour later than expected. Remus wrapped his blanket around himself and ventured into the hallway, where Sirius was brushing snow out of his hair.

“Where have you been?” Remus asked. “You had better get rid of that puddle too.”

“I got you something,” Sirius said grinning, then presented Remus with a small plastic bag. Remus opened the bag and was greeted by the familiar smell of marijuana.

“You got me drugs?” Remus asked, raising his eyebrows.

“It’s medicinal,” Sirius explained. “It used to help you with the pain.

“When I was a teenager,” Remus pointed out. “In the seventies.”

“Well, I mean, if you don’t want it…” Sirius said, looking like a kicked puppy.

“Of course I want it,” Remus said. “And if you’re nice I might share. I do want to know how you managed to get a drug contact within nine months of getting out of prison.”

“Tonks helped me find it,” Sirius said with a shrug. “She can be quite useful.”

“Mmm,” Remus agreed as he led Sirius into the kitchen and began rolling a joint. “I do like her. Definitely the best your family has to offer.”

“And what about me?” Sirius demanded. “Damaged goods?”

“You’re a special case,” Remus said. He lit one end of the joint and took a deep inhale. “I happen to like you quite a bit, even if you’re not perfect.”

“Perfect is boring,” Sirius said.

“You are many things, Sirius Black, but boring is certainly not one of them.”

 

An hour later, Remus and Sirius were lying on the floor of their kitchen, giggling and blowing smoke rings. “I feel like a teenager again,” Remus laughed.

“We should do a prank,” Sirius suggested, propping himself up on his elbows to look at Remus properly.

“Like what?” Remus demanded. “Dye somebody’s hair blue?”

“We always thought of the best ideas when we were high,” Sirius said.

“No,” Remus corrected. “You and James thought you had the best ideas when you were high, and I had to keep you from stealing gillyweed from Slughorn’s office and going to the lake to talk to mermaid—” Remus cut himself off, looked at his bag of weed, then back at Sirius, and said, “That’s it! Gillyweed.”

“Nah, we tried it, remember?” Sirius said. “Didn’t do much, and the smoke was fowl.”

“No,” Remus said. He sat up and started rummaging through Sirius’ pockets. “That’s what Harry needs. Gillyweed. And then he can go in the lake. I don’t know how we didn’t think of it before.”

“You’re a genius Moons,” Sirius said and planted a kiss on Remus’ lips. “But I think we had better wait to talk to Harry until we’ve both come down a little. I don’t think we would be responsible godfathers if he knew we were spending our afternoon smoking weed.”

“You’re right,” Remus said with a frown. “Well,” he sighed. “In the meantime I may as well bake some cookies.”

 

It was well into the evening when Remus and Sirius got around to talking to Harry on their mirror.

“Harry,” Sirius called, tapping the mirror with his wand.

After some moments, Harry’s face appeared in front of the mirror. “Sirius? Remus? What is it?”

“We have an idea for the second task,” Remus said. “Harry, have you ever heard of the plant gillyweed?”

“No,” Harry said.

“It’s a plant found in the Mediterranean, and if you eat it, you will be able to breathe underwater. It’s rather rare, but I’m sure we’ll be able to get you some.”

“You can’t just send it by owl though,” Harry protested. “If they think I’m cheating. Well—getting kicked out of the tournament wouldn’t be the worst thing—but they won’t let me use it if they think I got the idea somewhere else.”

“You’ll have to place an order at an apothecary then,” Remus said. “You should have enough time to receive it. Get enough for an hour and a half, just in case. Let us know if you have any trouble getting it. It will be more reliable than a bubble-head charm.”

“Good,” harry sighed. “Because I’m rubbish at that. Can’t get it to last longer than ten minutes, and drowning is not the way I’d like to go.”

“Use the gillyweed,” Sirius instructed. “All you’ll have to do it eat it.”

“Yeah,” Harry muttered. “And then find whatever they take and hide in a very large lake.”

“You’ll be fine, Harry,” Sirius assured him. “We believe in you. And I’ll be there in case Peter shows up, or anything goes wrong.”


	40. Chapter 40

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Sirius attends the second task

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Finally, a nice long chapter *pats self on back*  
> -Is nsfw at the end, when the text is italic. You can skip it without losing vital plot information

Sirius and Tonks ended up being the two to go an supervise the second task. Initially Scrimgeor had assigned Kingsley to the task, but Sirius had taken on quite a bit of Kingsley’s paperwork in exchange for the opportunity to see Harry. He got the feeling Kingsley would have let him have the job even without the paperwork, but he wanted to be fair.

Tonks walked the perimeter of the lake while Sirius scoped out the docks and the perimeters. When they met back up, neither had anything of note to report. “Do you reckon we ought to get in the water during the tasks?” Sirius asked, surveying the lake.

“We’re supposed to be looking for a threat from the crowd,” Tonks said.

“But what if somebody is already in the lake?” Sirius asked. “We would never know what happened down there.”

“Dumbledore said some of the mer-people will be watching from a discreet distance, in case a champion gets injured. I think they have some sort of way to alert in in case of trouble. We aren’t supposed to interfere with the tournament.”

Sirius frowned, but eventually turned away from the lake. “Alright then, we’ll check out anybody who comes in. Anyone who looks too old to be a student, or is carrying anything suspicious, we question them.”

Tonks nodded, “And then we patrol the docks, checking if anybody is using their wands, or leaving the dock. And we’ll keep an eye on the entrances. It shouldn’t be too difficult.”

“Yeah, but there are a lot of students,” Sirius said. “Any of them could be trying to hurt one of the champions, maybe just trying to work the odds in their favor, maybe something worse.”

“Sirius, Harry will be fine,” Tonks assured him.

“It’s just—we don’t have eyes on him. On any of them. I still think this is irresponsible of Dumbledore. I know it’s part of the games, but there’s so much we can’t control. Even without Peter on the loose, there’s more than enough risk for champions to get hurt. And Harry’s just fourteen. He doesn’t know the magic they know—”

“Sirius,” Tonks said soothingly. “It’s going to be okay. We just have to do our job and make sure nobody gets near him. You know Harry is resourceful, and he’s survived much more dangerous situations. And gillyweed is much more dependable than any other option. Now are you going to be able to do this job and pay attention, or will you be too focused on Harry?”

“I can focus,” Sirius promised. “It’s just—Merlin, I’ve never been responsible for a kid before. I mean I watched Harry when he was a baby, but not like this, and—I’m nervous. But I’ll get it together.”

“Good,” Tonks said with a smile. “The judges are coming our way.”

Sirius glanced over at the judges, who were indeed heading towards the docks. Fudge was wearing so many scarves his face could barely be seen, and only Karkaroff looked truly comfortable. Sirius looked at him longer than the others, looking for any malice in his cold, grey eyes. “Once a Death Eater, always a Death Eater,” Sirius muttered under his breath.

“Dumbledore said—” Tonks began.

“I don’t care much what Dumbledore says or thinks,” Sirius said bitterly, but soon the judges were within earshot.

“Wonderful to see you Sirius. Nymphadora,” Dumbledore said with a friendly smile. Tonks scowled upon hearing her first name.

“Yes, the Auror department has sent along two of their own to supervise the Tournament and ensure that the tournament is safe.”

“You have concerns for the champions’ safety?” Madame Maxime said in her French accent, looking between Dumbldore and Sirius.

“Given the Tournament’s history, and the incident with the Goblet this year, we just want to cover all out bases,” Tonks answered. “There isn’t any need to worry.” Sirius huffed at her last words, but nodded all the same. “We have checked all the entrances and the perimeter, and can assure you there is nothing on land that could endanger the champions. And Dumbledore is working with the merpeople to handle safety concerns within the water. If need be, Sirius and I are fully prepared to enter the lake if any intervention becomes necessary.”

Tonks’ answer seemed to satisfy Madame Maxime well enough, and Karkaroff grunted in agreement. “Right then,” said Ludo Bagman enthusiastically, “we ought to find our seats and set up. The students will be arriving in less than thirty minutes. It’ll be quite the show.”

As he ushered the judges towards the docks Tonks muttered, “I don’t see you staring at a lake for an hour is supposed to be any sort of show.”

“I’m sure Bagman’s commentary will become creative,” Sirius said. “He does have a flair for drama.”

After some time the stands began to fill, and Sirius heard somebody calling his name. He turned around to see Harry, shivering in his swimsuit, and holding a small bag.

“You’re got it?” Sirius asked.

“Yeah,” Harry said. “Wasn’t too hard. It’s just... I can’t find Ron or Hermione anywhere. Have you seen them in the stands?”

“No,” Sirius said. “I’ll ask Tonks, in case I missed them. But they’ll be here. They’ll want to watch you win.” Harry gave a feeble smile, and Sirius noticed Karkaroff eying him suspiciously. “You ought to get ready,” Sirius said, griping Harry’s shoulder. “Stay safe, and don’t be afraid to forfeit the task. You’ll do brilliantly: I know you will.”

Harry nodded, looking slightly more confident than before and made his way to the docks. Sirius jogged over to meet Tonks at the entrance to the docks. “Have you seen Ron or Hermione?” Sirius asked, a thousand unpleasant scenarios rushing through his mind.

“I haven’t,” Tonks said with a frown. “Maybe there was some sort of delay. You ought to stay here and watch the crowd. I’ll continue checking the perimeter, just in case. That way you’ll be able to watch Harry.”

“Thank you,” Sirius said with a sigh of relief.

“Of course,” Tonks said with a wide grin before she headed off in the direction of the woods. Sirius turned back just in time to see Harry shoving the Gillyweed into his mouth and jumping off the dock.

The hour that passed was one of the most tense hours Sirius Black had experienced. Every bubble, every ripple, his heart seemed to drop into his chest. He scanned the crowd too, looking for a drawn wand, a guilty look, anything. But nobody did anything more than look a little bored, and nothing and nobody entered the dock. At one point Sirius did stun a squirrel, which he had mistaken for a brown rat. After realizing his mistake, he re-enervated the squirrel, which scampered off, seemingly unharmed.

Fleaur’s return only made Sirius more anxious. If a seventee-year-old, a witch who was of age, could not handle the lake, how could Harry? He tried to remind himself that Remus had taught Harry about grindylows, and there was nor reason to worry, but it didn’t stop the burning sensation in his throat.

When Credic emerged from the lake, holding Cho Chang, Sirius at least understood where Ron and Hermione were. Had Dumbledore put them both down? To Sirius’ surprise, Viktor Krum emerged with Hermione, untransforming from a Shark. Sirius had to give the kid credit for that: he knew better than most how difficult human transfiguration was.

The time limit came and went, and there was no sign of Harry. _He has enough Gillyweed for an hour and a half_ Sirius told himself, checking his watch for the fifth time. Or maybe the fiftieth. Sirius was just about ready to dive into the water himself, when finally _finally_ Harry surfaced with not just Ron, but also a young blonde girl. She must have been Fleur’s hostage. Sirius watched nervously as Madame Pomfrey wrapped him in a blanket, and gave him what was no doubt a warming potion. Sirius watched Karkaroff carefully, as the man glared at Harry, but he didn’t draw his wand.

“Who won?”

Sirius turned around to see Tonks, and breathed a sigh of relief. “Judges haven’t made the final decision,” Sirius said. “But Cedric should be the winner, followed by Krum and then Harry. The Delacour girl had to drop out. Harry missed the time limit by a lot though.”

“You should go to him,” Tonks said. “I doubt anything is going to happen now, but I’ll keep an eye out anyways.”

“Thanks,” said Sirius, hurrying over to Harry’s side. Fleur was planting a kiss on Harry’s cheeks, and then Ron’s, which caused Ron to blush violently. “You did amazing,” Sirius said, pulling Harry into a hug. When he released Harry, he asked, “Why did you save the girl? She wasn’t your hostage.”

“I couldn’t leave her down there,” Harry said, glancing over at Gabrielle, who was hugging her sister again. “I—I didn’t want anybody to get hurt.”

Sirius hugged harry again, harder this time and said, “you are so like your father, Harry. Both of your parents would have done the same.”

They made their way, slowly, to the castle, Harry telling Sirius all about the different creatures he had faced down there. “You have to tell Remus about the grindylows,” Harry said. “His class is the only reason I got past them.”

“I will,” Sirius assured him. “Now you go up to your room and change into something warm. You did well today.” Once Harry had disappeared back into the castle, Sirius went to find Tonks. To his surprise, she was talking to Fleur, and seemed to be having an interesting conversation. Before he arrived, Fleur had broken away in the direction of the Beauxbatons carriage.

“What did she want?” Sirius asked, walking up beside Tonks.

“Nothing in particular,” Tonks said. “Just chatting. Flirting a little.”

“Do you like her?” Sirius asked.

“I don’t know her,” Tonks said with a shrug. “I mean, she’s attractive, obviously, and I’d be interested in gatting to know her, I suppose.”

“But what about Sam?” Sirius asked.

“Oh, we aren’t monogamous,” Tonks explained quickly. “I don’t like limiting myself that way, and just because I’m interested in other people doesn’t mean I care about her any less. She knows that.”

“Alright then,” Sirius said with a shrug. “I suppose that makes sense. I’ve never really wanted anybody but Remus, but I suppose it’s not like that for everyone.”

“We all love differently,” Tonks said with a shrug.

“We all do,” Sirius agreed. “Come on, let’s get back to the Ministry.”

 

_“And you’re sure about this?” Sirius asked, searching Remus’ face for any hesitation._

_“I’ve chosen you a long time ago,” Remus said. “This will just make it official. I’m a little nervous. I don’t know—things will change, for me at least. But I’m sure I want you.”_

_“It just seems so final,” Sirius said. “I mean, what if we break up, or I die, or something?”_

_“I’ll have to keep you alive,” Remus said with a smile. “But if you don’t feel ready, or if it’s too much pressure, we can wait.”_

_“No,” Sirius said quickly. “I’m ready. I know it’s not binding for me, but do want it. You and me, partners, mates, whatever. I want to be yours. Always.”_

_“Then let me make you mine.” Remus pushed Sirius onto the mattress, and then his mouth was on Sirius, as his hands got started with the buttons on Sirius’ shirt. He didn’t know what he was doing, but instinct told him to touch every inch of Sirius’ skin. He pulled his mouth away from Sirius’ neck and made his way downwards, undoing Sirius’ belt as he started pulling off his own clothes. Soon they were both naked, Remus back on top taking Sirius’ lips in his as he ground their hard cocks together. “What do you want do to do?” Remus asked between kisses._

_“Everything,” Sirius breathed, his breath catching in his throats as Remus took them both in hand._

_They didn’t end up getting to everything that day, but they had many sleepless nights afterwards to explore and discover one another’s bodies. It had been awkward and messy, but when Sirius felt Remus inside him it felt like they were where they were supposed to be. Together._


	41. Chapter 41

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Plot related smut

“Sirius, did you use my razor?” Remus called to his boyfriend from the bathroom, where he was rinsing short black hairs out of his razor.

“Guilty,” Sirius admitted, appearing in the doorway in just his thick red bathrobe. He crossed the room to stand behind Remus and wrap his arms around the other man’s waist. “I’ll get you a new one.”

“No need,” Remus muttered shaking it out. “I can go another day. I’ll just be scruffy.”

“I like you scruffy,” Sirius said, pressing his lips into Remus’ neck, and then his back, just below his shoulders. Remus hummed appreciatively, then turned around, lifted Sirius up, and set him down on the bathroom counter. With a grin, Sirius pulled Remus’ head down towards him into a kiss. Sirius’ hands roamed across his back, still damp from the shower, and traced the scars that covered his body, then came down to tug as the towel around Remus’ waist.

“Patience,” Remus scolded, lifting Sirius’ hands away. “I still need to brush my hair and teeth. Go wait on the bed.” Sirius hopped off the sink, and, after an additional kiss, disappeared into the bedroom.

When Remus was done in the bathroom, he found Sirius sitting at the end of the bed, swinging his feet back and forth just above the carpet. “You look amazing tonight,” Remus said as he walked over to run his fingers through Sirius’ hair.

“Now?” Sirius asked, tugging at Remus’ towel.

“After,” Remus said, sinking to his knees. He heard Sirius let out a sound somewhere between a sigh and a groan as Remus untied his belt and pushed his robe to either side. Remus pushed Sirius’ knees apart and began kissing and nuzzling along the inside of Sirius’s thighs, leaving small kisses and bites along his path.

“Remus,” Sirius groaned. “Would you stop teasing?”

“You want me to stop?” Remus asked, raising his head to grin at Sirius.

“You know what I want,” Sirius said, trailing off as Remus reaching up to cup his balls. Remus flashed Sirius a grin before lowering his head and then licking his way from the base of Sirius’ penis to the tip, where he swirled his tongue around the head before swallowing Sirius’ cock until he could feel the tip at the back of his throat. Sirius’ hands twisted him his hair, gently urging him to go faster, deeper. Remus complied, and began rubbing Sirius’ perineum with his fingers, pushing slightly at Sirius’ entrance. It didn’t take long before Sirius was gasping, his hips jerking so hard Remus had to push them down with his free hand. When Remus has swallowed him as deep as his could, he felt Sirius’ body tense, and then release as he ejaculated down Remus’ throat. As he felt Sirius soften, Remus pulled away to look up at Sirius, who was still enjoying his afterglow.

Stretching out his knees, Remus walked around the bed and got on, leaning against the headboard. Sirius rolled over and grinned up at him. “I believe it’s your turn, Moony,” he rasped. He crawled up the bed to settle in between Remus legs, then finally he got to take the towel off.


	42. Chapter 42

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Rita Skeeter writes an article

Remus was woken—quite rudely—by the sound of the alarm going off in their fireplace.

“Whazzat?” Sirius mumbled, rolling over and shoving his head into Remus’ arm pit.

“It’s the alarm,” Remus said, pushing himself out of bed. “I suppose somebody wanted to come over at some ungodly hour.”

“What time is it?” Sirius asked, pushing himself onto his elbows and blinking at Remus.

“Just past six,” Remus groaned as he pulled on a pair of jeans and the nearest shirt he could find. “And on a Saturday. Whoever it is had better have a very good explanation.”

Remus brushed his fingers through his hair as he made his way down the stars, where he tapped the grate with his wand, opening it for whoever had woken him. After a quick flash of green light Tonks appeared, just as Sirius stumbled out of the bedroom and made his way to the stairs.

“This had better be urgent,” Sirius moaned, but Remus could see that Tonks looked very nervous.

“It’s—Sam works for the prophet, and there was an article in the morning paper,” she stammered.

“Skeeter?” Remus asked, his heart sinking.

“You should take a look for yourself,” she said, handing a few sheets of paper to Remus. “Sam got me a copy. There’s nothing she could do.”

Fairly sure he knew what was coming, Remus opened the paper so he and Sirius could see the front cover, and immediately groaned. Above a picture of his kissing Sirius in there bathroom was the headline **Black Family Scion Sex Scandal**.

Shaking the paper open, Remus saw that it only got worse. There were several more explicit photos, and phrases “bizarre mating rituals” and “animalistic sexual appetites” popped out at him. Remus turned to look at Sirius, but his mate had gone to the sitting room, where he had collapsed into an armchair, and buried his face in his hands.

“Thank you, Tonks,” Remus said, managing a pained smile. “If you don’t mind--”

“Of course,” Tonks said, giving a weak smile, and then turning back into the grate. “I’m sorry,” she said before disappearing into a whirl of green flames.

Remus set the article down and followed Sirius into the living room. “We’re fucked,” Sirius said, not even looking up at Remus.

Remus tried to think of something to say to make the situation better, but ended up just sitting down on the couch next to Sirius and saying, “Yeah. Pretty much.”

“Those picture—they were from last night,” Sirius pointed out. “She must have been _watching_ us. How did she even know where we live?”

“She’s good at getting information,” Remus sighed, still somewhat in shock.

“This is my fault,” Sirius groaned. “I’m the one who pissed her off. I should have just given her that stupid article.”

“Don’t say that,” Remus said, pulling one of Sirius’ hands away from his face to grip it tightly. Sirius turned towards him slightly, though he barely took his eyes off the ground. “She’s a bully, and you can’t fight people like that by just giving them what they want. We’ve just got to be strong and get through this.”

“I don’t suppose there’s any way of stopping it,” Sirius groaned. “I don’t know—I’ve got the Black name and everything.”

“That wouldn’t help,” Remus said, shaking his head. “I’m pretty sure a pureblood aristocrat getting oral from a werewolf is too good of a story for them to pass up.” Sirius made a noise halfway between a laugh and a sob, and Remus pulled him away from the chair, and onto the couch beside him.

“What are we going to do?” Sirius asked.

“I don’t know,” Remus sighed. “Go on with our lives. It’ll be Hell, but all anybody can do is talk. It won’t change what we are.” Remus checked his watch, then said “In two hours everybody will know that we’re together, and we can either keep our heads up and tell them we aren’t ashamed, or we can let them break us.”

“I’m not ashamed of you, Moony,” Sirius said. He had finally sat up, and was looking Remus directly in the eye. “I have never been ashamed of you.”

“Good,” Remus said, leaning in to kiss Sirius’ forehead. “Because this won’t be easy.”

“I’d better talk to that guy Narcissa told me about,” Sirius said. “Greengrass. There’s got to be something we can get her for. Libel, or trespassing or something.”

“Alright,” Remus said with a weak smile as Sirius disappeared into the office. “And you ought to send a letter to Harry to at least warn him. I’m sure the kids at school will be cruel.”

“Fuck,” Sirius breathed. “I didn’t even think of that. Will you—”

“I’ll help,” Remus assured him. “Just bring me a quill and some parchment.”

 

_Harry,_

_I hope this letter finds you before you go down to breakfast. I’m afraid you will likely read a rather embarrassing article in today’s paper. Rita Skeeter has learned about the nature of Sirius and my relationship, and she’s written a nasty article about us. Unfortunately this will not just affect the two of us, but you may be as well, given that you live with us and Sirius is your godfather. We hope you will not be bothered too much, but if the other students harass you you can talk to Dumbledore or McGonagall about it. I’m sure the two of them will do what they can for you. Keep in mind that you do not have to fiht our battles. We knew the chances of something like this happening, and we are prepared to deal with the consequences. If any problems arise, or if you need anything at all, please use your mirror or write us a letter. Sirius is quite upset over all of this, but he will be there for you if you need him, as will I,_

_Sincerely,_

_Remus_

Remus sighed as he attached the letter to the owl’s leg. He should be talking to Harry directly over the mirror, but he couldn’t bring himself to face Harry face-to-face. He could only hope he would get the letter in time.

“Sirius?” he asked, pushing open the door to the study. Sirius was writing his own letter, and he looked up at Remus as soon as he entered the room.

“I don’t even know what to say,” Sirius admitted. “It’s—I can’t stop it. I want to be able to stop it.”

“Greengrass will help you,” Remus said. “People don’t know our address, so we can’t get any hate mail. It’ll be horrible at work for a while, but they’ll get used to it eventually. It’s just gossip.”

“The things she said about you,” Sirius said, crunching the article in his fist. “It’s not right Moony. She talked about you as if you were some animal. Nobody sees how good you are.”

“You do,” Remus said with a weak smile. “And that’s all that matters to me.”


	43. Chapter 43

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Aftermath of Rita's article

Remus was too busy searching for ice that he didn’t hear Sirius come in. When he turned around, holding an ace-pack to the back of his skull he saw Sirius standing in the doorway, looking defeated.

“What happened to you head?” Sirius asked, looking up as Remus with concern.

“Something hit it,” Remus said evasively.

“What aren’t you telling me?” Sirius demanded.

“It’s not a big deal,” Remus sighed. He sat down at the kitchen table and glanced up at Sirius, who was still standing with his arms crossed. “I just… I went out to get some dittany. We’ve been running low. Anyways, when I was leaving somebody recognized me, and started shouting. I disapparated, but I guess somebody threw something—I don’t even know what—before I got back.”

“Somebody hurt you?” Sirius has closed the distance between them, and took the bag of ice from Remus’ hand. “You’re bleeding,” he pointed out. “I’ll go get supplies. You still have that dittany?”

“I’ll be fine,” Remus insisted as Sirius disappeared into the cupboard. “It’s really not that bad.”

“I’ll be the judge of that,” Sirius said as he re-entered the room. Soon he was smearing poultice onto the cut, which took down the ache considerably. “I can’t believe…and I thought it was bad at work today.”

“What happened at work?” Remus demanded.

“Nothing drastic. Just people staring, and muttering. And asking rude questions,” Sirius explained as he unwound a strip of bandage.

“What kinds of questions?” Remus asked.

“Just dumb things, you know. Mostly people wanted ot know what it’s like. Being with…”

“With a werewolf,” Remus answered. “You can say it.”

“It doesn’t matter,” Sirius insisted. “It’s just words. And you stay there. I’ll make you some tea.” Sirius went about brewing the tea, but Remus could see that his hands were shaking slightly.

“I got a letter back from Greengrass,” Sirius said, after some pause. “He said he’s going to look into what we can do about Rita, but it doesn’t sound like much. I just wish I knew how she’d found where we live. She’s got to be doing something. I don’t know.”

“It’s not going to change the fact that the article has been written,” Remus pointed out, earning himself a glare from Sirius.

“Yes, well maybe we can show her she can’t do it again,” Sirius insisted. “I’ve got a lot of hate-mail. It’s been sent to the office, since they don’t have another address—at least Rita didn’t leak that—but some of them were howlers, and you know how those go off. It was—well it’s not very nice to be at work and then you here somebody screaming at you about how disgusting you are, and how you’re ruining the name of all the good purebloods.”

“I’m sorry,” Remus sighed as Sirius set down a mug of tea in front of him. “I wish there was something we could do to stop it all.”

“I’m just glad they don’t have any address for you,” Sirius said, giving Remus a light kiss on the cheek. “I don’t want to know what they have to say, because I’m sure it would be all wrong. And then I would have to go and fight each and every one of them.”

“I’d prefer it if you didn’t die defending my honor,” Remus laughed.

“Excuse me, I was a wonderful duelist,” Sirius said, feigning hurt.

“When you were twenty,” Remus teased.

“I would still hold my own,” Sirius insisted. “We might need to,” he added soberly.

“One disaster at a time, please,” Remus groaned. “I can’t deal with the return of Voldemort and by boyfriend getting blasted into bits by some asshole.”

Sirius smiled and leaned his head into Remus’ shoulder. “I’d fight them all for you anyway.”


	44. Chapter 44

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Remus overhears a conversation between Sirius and Narcissa

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I have this headcanon that Pansy's mother works for Witch Weekly, given that Pansy has the magazine in GoF, and Rita asked her for a quote.

Remus woke up to the familiar ache of the morning after a full moon. Glancing at his watch he realized it was nearly lunch time, so he forced himself out of bed and into his softest, most comfortable sweater. He was half-way down the stairs when he heard voices from the sitting room.

“This isn’t just about you, Sirius,” said a familiar female voice. “It’s about the family. I’m still associated with the name Black, and if you can be humiliated like this, it’s bad for you, it’s bad for me and my family, it’s bad even for Andromeda. We are Blacks. We do not get written about in some gossip column.”

“It’s not as if I decided to get myself photographed while getting sucked off. I didn’t ask for this,” Sirius spat back.

Narcissa made a noise in the back of her throat and said, “look, this can all blow over if it’s just a one time thing. Just an experiment. If Remus were to move out, you could get married, and…”

“That is _not_ happening,” Sirius said fiercely.

“You can still see him,” Narcissa said. “As long as you’re subtle. I know several women who would look the other way…”

“He’s my partner,” Sirius hissed. “I don’t care if I get a thousand howlers. I love him, and I am not shoving him out because what I do in the privacy of my own home reflects poorly on you. And what do you think would happen to Remus if I kicked him out? What, would he be some sort of kept boy? He deserves better than that.”

“You know how people are going to feel about the Boy Who Lived living with a werewolf,” Narcissa said. “If you just put him up somewhere, even for the summer…”

“Remus is staying here, where he belongs,” Sirius said firmly. “You can either deal with that, or get out of my house.”

Narcissa sighed, and after some moments said, “You always were stubborn, Sirius. If you knew the sacrifices I’ve made for this family… But I suppose that doesn’t matter to you. If you insist on this, you’ve got to get ahead of it. Set the record straight. I’m friends with the editor of _Witch Weekly._ If you were to give an interview, the two of you, she might take a more liberal stance. If you convince people that you aren’t that _abnormal._ A certain type of woman might be interested in that sort of a thing. Shocking headline, I suppose.”

“I don’t want my private life—”

“You’re private life is being torn apart, whether you want it or not,” Narcissa snapped. “Maybe you haven’t been reading the papers, but some of us have to pay attention to that sort of thing. If they’re going to talk about it, wouldn’t you rather make sure what they say is true?”

Before Sirius could answer, Remus accidentally shifted his weight and the stair beneath him gave an audible creak.

“Remus?” Sirius asked.

Remus walked to the sitting room, where Narcissa was sitting. Sirius had half risen to his feet, then said “you should be sleeping.”

“Got hungry,” Remus said with a shrug. “I’ll just go get some toast while the two of you talk.”

“Absolutely not,” Sirius protested. “You sit down. I’ll bring you something to eat. And tea. Would you like any, Narcissa?”

“That would be lovely,” Narcissa said with a smile. When Remus took the armchair across from her she gave him a cold stair.

“How is Draco?” Remus asked, trying to be polite as possible.

“He’s doing well,” Narcissa said with a smile that did not reach her eyes. “Almost the top of the class. He would be first, if not for that Granger girl… He’s made several friends from Durmstrang. We considered sending him there for school, but it’s very far.”

“Yes, I’m sure Lucius and Karkaroff were close,” Sirius said acidly as he arrived with the teapot. “Give this a few more minutes to steep.” He turned to Remus and said, “I’ll have you some bacon in five minutes.” He made a point of kissing Remus before returning to the kitchen.

“Draco was rather very bright,” Remus said, smiling at Narcissa, who looked about ready to have an aneurism. “Very much like you. If I remember correctly, you were the top of your class, and Head Girl in your time.”

“I was,” Narcissa said with a slight nod. “Andromeda and I both were. Bella was a bit too… erratic… for the position.”

Not having anything else to say, Remus lapsed into an awkward silence, and then busied himself with pouring the tea. “Cream and sugar?” he asked.

“Cream,” she answered.

“Sirius likes to tell people he drinks his black, but he puts in about three sugar cubes, and fills almost half the cup with cream when he’s in private,” Remus said with a chuckle.

“Hmm, I remember that,” Narcisa said. “We used to have tea parties as children. Our parents were constantly taking us to one dull event or the other, and we had to find ways of amusing ourselves without being disruptive. Sirius and I got along well enough in the beginning. But he always liked Andy better.” She smiled, as if caught up in some memory, then snapped her attention back to Remus. “Do you have brothers or sisters?”

“No,” Remus said. “I have several cousins on my Father’s side, but I stopped seeing them after—well after my illness. My mother always wanted a daughter though. She was a little disappointed when she found I wouldn’t even be giving her a daughter-in-law.”

“She was a muggle?” Narcissa asked.

“Yes,” Remus said. “She was a good woman. Died during the war. Death Eaters.” For a horrible moment, Remus wondered if Lucius had been one of the Death Eaters to kill him mother and destroy his childhood home, if he was sitting across from the wife of the man who murdered his mother. He pushed the thought away. It would do no good to think of that again.

“I’m sorry,” Narcissa said, and Remus thought she was at least somewhat genuine. “My mother died when I was young. My father lived longer. He died just a few years ago.”

“What a lovely topic,” Sirius said, coming into the room with a tray for Remus. When he took his plate Remus realized that Sirius had made him a smiley face out of eggs and bacon on his toast. He sat down in his chair and looked between Remus and Narcissa as the awkward silence grew longer.

“Have you heard from Andromeda recently?” Narcissa finally asked, turning to Sirius.

“We had dinner with Ted and Andy last week,” Sirius said. “She’s doing quite well. They had a small outbreak of vanishing disease in St. Mungo’s and they had to quarantine several patients. They actually lost one patient, who had gone completely invisible, but they found him again. But until then Ted and Andy were both working over-time. ”

“Fascinating,” Narcissa said lightly. “Why she chose to be a healer, of all things…”

“She enjoys it,” Sirius insisted. “Saving lives… it’s not a bad way to spend your life.”

“And I suppose you and Nymphadora do the same,” Narcissa said. “Very heroic.”

“She hates being called that,” Sirius pointed out. “It’s Tonks. Or Dora, for Andy and Ted. If you call her Nymphadora to her face you’ll be getting an earful.”

“No more than Andy deserves, naming her daughter Nymphadora. Of all the family traditions to uphold…” Narcissa sighed heavily, then set down her teacup. “I ought to be going now,” she said. “Lucius should be returning from work any time now. I’ll get you the information for Eugenia Parkinson. If anybody can put a good spin on this, it’s her.” Sirius helped her into her coat and walked her to the fireplace, returning moments later to find Remus finishing up his plate.

“How much did you hear?” Sirius asked.

“Oh, about when she told you to pretend it’s just a one time thing,” Remus admitted.

“You know I would never do that,” Sirius said.

“Of course,” Remus said with a smile. “I know you, Sirius.”

“Good,” Sirius sighed. After a pause, he asked, tentatively “so what do you think about her offer?”

“Doing an interview?” Remus asked. “If you want to do it—well theyre going to talk about us either way, and they might as well be talking about the truth.”

“So we’re doing it?” Sirius asked.

“As long as you’re with me.”


	45. Chapter 45

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Sirius and Remus' interview in Witch Weekly

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> -There's this one scene where Pansy Parkinson has Witch Weekly and for some reason I have this headcanon that her mom works there now  
> -I am working at a glacial pace, since mental health is basically squashing creativity and stuff, but I try to add a bit here and there

Sirius and Remus arrived in the Witch Weekly office early, only after a long debate about which sweater Remus should wear. “I didn’t want to look threatening,” he whispered as they sat on the couch outside Eugenia Parkinson’s office.

“You look fine,” Sirius responded, reaching out to grip Remus’ hand. “Rather cute, in my esteemed opinion. And those pants make your bum look cute.”

Remus opened his mouth to respond, but was cut off when the office door swung open, and a harsh looking woman entered the room, a younger girl behind her. Remus recognized her harsh features immediately: the slate cold eyes and the shark cheekbones of Pansy Parkinson. Both men rose to shake her hand.

“Eugenia Parkinson,” she said briskly. “Narcissa has talked to me about your situation. It should be a simple enough interview. We just need to show the public that you’re aren’t so unusual, but also satisfy their curiosity. Astoria here will be taking down our conversation.”

By the time she had finished speaking, her aide--Astoria apparently--had tea ready. Eugenia studied them as they prepared their cups, then, as soon as they set down their cups, she asked, “What was your reaction to seeing Rita Skeeter’s article in the  _ Daily Prophe _ t?”

Remus choked on his tea, but covered up quickly enough to turn to Sirius, who hesitantly said, “Well, we both felt a lot of things seeing that article. Shock was probably my first reaction. And then anger, embarrassment. It’s something we had been afraid of for so long, it was like waking up and finding one of your worst nightmares had come true. Things have been very difficult for the last few days, but we have some very close friends, and we have one another of course.” 

“And when did the two of you meet?” Eugenia asked, leaning in towards them slightly.

“The train,” Sirius said. “First year. James and I were causing some mischief, and kid shows up in the largest sweater I have ever seen, and asks us if there’s somewhere he can hide. And then he climbed into the luggage rack, and soon some older student came in, looking for the boy who tied his shoelaces together. Anyways, we became best friends shortly after that.”

“And you were close with the Potters as well?” Eugenia asked.

“Yes,” Sirius said. “James was our friend from the start. We were all roommates. The three of us… and Peter. Remus was closer to Lily than the rest of us, until Lily and James started dating in our seventh year. And I’m glad they did, she made James a better person.”

“Sirius was best man, and Harry’s godfather,” Remus added. “We always planned to raise Harry if the worst happened.”

“And when did the two of you become involved romantically?” 

Sirius glanced at Remus before slowly saying, “We were fifteen. Been together ever since.”

“That’s very young,” Eugenia commented. “And you never saw anybody else?”   
“I never thought of being with anybody but Remus,” Sirius said, reaching over to grip Remus’ knee.

“And you Remus?” she asked. “Was there anybody else in your life, while Sirius was in Azkaban.”

“No,” Remus said. “I never really believed he could have done what they said he did. Sirius is reckless, but he’s no mass murderer.” He laughed slightly, and he thought he saw the corners of Eugenia’s mouth twitch. 

“So Remus,” Eugenia said, turning to face him fully. He was fairly sure what the next question to come out of her mouth would be, but tried to remain calm as she continued, “Is it true that werewolves mate for life?”

“That’s not--” Sirius cut in.

“No,” Remus said with a hand on Sirius’ leg. “It’s okay. I want to answer.” He exchanged a weak smile with Sirius, then turned back to Eugenia and said, “Yes, we do. Once we choose a partner, we are bonded until we die.”

“And how does that work exactly?” Eugenia asked. “Is it something similar to an unbreakable oath? What would happen if you were to find another partner?”

“It’s not really based in actions,” Remus said slowly, measuring his words carefully. “It’s more of an emotional bond. Before Sirius and I bonded, I was attracted to several people, like most people are. But after, nobody seemed appealing in any way. It was like a certain part of my mind just shut off. But my feelings for Sirius became more intense. I didn’t know what to expect--there isn’t much written down about werewolves, except for how to kill them, and I didn’t know any other werewolves I could ask. It was something we had to figure out together, but I think it ended pretty well.”

“Is there some sort of ritual?” Eugenia asked, causing Remus to wince slightly.

“No,” Remus answered. “It's just intimacy. But nothing different from what many couples do. No blood magic.”

“And is this binding for you as well, Sirius?” Eugenia asked.

“No,” Sirius said. “I could still choose different partners, but I have absolutely no intention of leaving Remus. We are very happy together.”

“Can you describe the relationship?”

“Well,” Sirius said. “First of all, Remus is the responsible one. He makes sure I don’t do anything too ridiculous, and that’s enough of a job. But he also takes care of me. After Azkaban everything has changed, and it’s been very difficult. I feel like I’ve lost twelve years of my life, and Remus has been the only really stable thing in my life. He’s helped me adjust and I don’t think I could have done this without him. I certainly would be in no fit condition to take care of Harry.”

“And what is life like with Harry?” Eugenia asked.

“We would prefer not to speak about Harry without him here,” Sirius said, a little sharply. “He’s had enough bad experiences with publicity. But I will say he’s a good kid. Living with him… it’s been a blessing.”

Remus nodded and added, “Sirius has done a lot to keep Harry safe. He--when he chooses somebody to be family, he is very loyal. It’s, in my opinion, one of his best qualities.”

Sirius looked up at him, beaming, and said, “Moony, you’re making me blush.”

“Moony?” asked Eugenia.

“Ah,” Remus said, coloring slightly. “Well, when Sirius and James found out… about my condition… they thought they were very clever and started calling me “Moony” and the nickname stuck. Later, when they could transform, Sirius was Padfoot.”

“And James was Prongs,” Sirius added. 

“And why did you decide to become an unregistered animagus?” she asked. “If rumors are true you could transform by the age of 15. That’s very advanced and difficult manage to learn while in school.”

“Yes, well it was for Remus really,” Sirius said. “James and I--and Peter--spent quite a bit of time researching for cures, or potions, or anything that could make him feel better. We didn’t find anything, but we read this book about how werewolves--when they transform in a pack--become much less violent. Remus used to injure himself during full moons, and we wanted to help him however we could. Anyways, we couldn’t be with him as humans, so we got the idea that maybe we could change into animals. That way he wouldn’t be alone. He thought we were mad, but we managed it. It took three years, but it has most certainly been worth it.”

“And you’ve never been injured?” Eugenia asked. 

“A sprain here or there, nothing that can’t be healed with a quick charm,” Sirius said. “And he stopped hurting himself as well. Nowadays he gets wolfsbane, so he just sleeps. It’s rather boring, actually.”

“Sirius enjoys a certain amount of danger,” Remus commented. “But, when my friends started staying with me on full moons, it changed my life.” 

“So those scars,” Eugenia said, indicated the faint white lines of his face and neck. “Those are from yourself?”

“Most of them yes,” Remus answered. “The first bite, and the initial scars never really heal, but the ones I gave myself, those fade.” Remus hadn’t noticed Sirius’ hand on his knee until he looked up. He had not meant to say that in front of a reporter.

“Is it true you were bitten by Fenrir Greyback?” Eugenia asked.

“Yes,” Remus said in a measured tone. “He--my father had insulted him, so it was revenge. I suppose I’m lucky to have survived.”

“And how old were you?” She pressed. 

“I really don’t think--” Sirius tried to cut in.

“Four,” Remus answered. “Four, almost five. I don’t remember--I don’t remember not being a werewolf.”

Eugenia opened her mouth to ask another question, but Sirius said, “I really think that’s enough on that topic.” Remus felt his body relax in relief as Eugenia nodded and turned a page in her notebook. “Well then , Sirius, What can you tell me about Azkaban?”


	46. Chapter 46

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Sirius receives a dinner invitation

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> really short filler chapter

A few weeks after Parkinson’s article in Witch Weekly came out, Sirius recieved a letter from Narcissa’s owl, who had become quite familiar at this point. The letter that larger and more formal than usual, and when Sirius took it from the owl’s leg he saw it was addressed not only to himself, but also to Remus.

Remus was in the library, pouring over a book on horcruxes, and his head snapped up when Sirius entered the room. “Letter from Narcissa?” He asked, spying the creme envelope in Sirius’ hand.

“Yeah, and it’s for both of us,” Sirius said. 

Remus frowned, but reached for an envelope cutter and walked over the Sirius where they pulled the parchment out from its thick cream envelope. “It’s a dinner invitation,” Remus said slowly. “Sirius Black and Remus Lupin are formally invited to dinner with _ Lucius _ and Narcissa Malfoy.”

“She knows I won’t see him,” Sirius said, snatching the letter back. “She knows. Why would she invite me to this. She knows I won’t go?”

Remus was searching for some sort of explanation when Narcissa’s owl swooped down, took the letter in his beak and turned it around. There was nothing on the other side, but the owl laid it in the table and tapped the blank side of parchment repeatedly with his claw.

“So their bird is mad,” Sirius commented.

“I don;t know…” Remus said slowly. “Sirius, remember when I sent you letters from the werewolf pack?”

“You sent messages in invisible ink on the backs of daily prophet editions,” Sirius said excitedly. “I have--at least I think I have…” He rushed over to his desk where he rifled through his things before pulling out a pink eraser. “If there’s a message, this will show it.” As Sirius rubbed at Narcissa’s letter, black letters began to appear in her curly handwriting:  _ Please come--urgent. Can’t write more in front of Lucius. _

Sirius and Remus exchanged a look. Neither needed to say a word to confirm what they both knew--they were going to have dinner with the Malfoys.


	47. Chapter 47

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Sirius and Remus are forced to deal with Lucius in order to follow up on a clue.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm going to be picking up the pace, so I'm almost done with the events of GoF, and ideally the next parts will go faster, but who knows.

“I wasn’t sure what sort of gift you’re supposed to bring when coming over to an enemy’s house for dinner, so I got gin,” Remus commented as he wandered into the bedroom where Sirius was getting ready for dinner with Lucius and Narcissa. “I mean, I’m fairly sure Lucius and I have tried to kill one another at least once, but alcohol always helps.”

“I really don’t want to see him,” Sirius sighed, setting down his hair brush. “I told Narcissa from the start… I would help her, but I wouldn’t speak to Lucius.”

“It must be important,” Remus sighed. Truthfully, he was dreading the evening out, but he knew Sirius needed to go, and he wanted to know what Narcissa could have to tell them.

“THank you.” Remus looked down to see Sirius holding his hand. “I know you don’t want to do this either.”

Remus squeezed Sirius’ hand then said, “Well being late won’t help anything. The sooner we get there the sooner we can leave.” Sirius nodded and followed Remus to the fireplace where they took the floo network over to Malfoy Manor.

Narcissa was waiting for them in dress robes far more expensive than their best set, which they were each wearing. She gave them a tense smile, then led them to the parlor, rattling off the polite greetings. Lucius was seated in an armchair by the fire, looking imposing.

“Sirius,” he drawled. “It’s been quite some time. Funny I haven’t seen you at the Ministry. I hear you’re causing trouble for Scrimgeour.”

“We don’t always see eye to eye,” Sirius said slowly. Remus could tell his guard was up. It was not normal for them to make small talk with Death Eaters. 

“Would either of you like something to drink?” Narcissa offered. Remus was tempted, but unwilling to let his guard down in front of Lucius, so he politely declined while Sirius accepted a glass of red wine. 

“So tell me Sirius,” Narcissa said, “What are you doing with your spare time?”

Sirius exchanged a glance with Remus, then said, “Well, work takes up a great deal of my time, but it’s nice to just enjoy being home. We’ve got quite a library, and I go for walks in the woods as well. Sometimes I go flying.”

“That sounds nice,” Narcissa said with a smile. “Have you kept up with your French at all?”

“No…” Sirius said, looking somewhat confused. 

“Well you should practice,” Narcissa said. “It’s a family tradition you don’t hate.”

“I don’t get many chances to use it,” Sirius said slowly.

“I have some books you should borrow,” Narcissa said brightly, standing up. “I’ll go get them from the library.” She stood up and made her way down the hall, leaving the three men in an awkward silence.

“So,” Remus said after a tense minute. “How are Draco’s studies coming?” Lucius didn’t answer, but simply raised an eyebrow at Remus. Remus nodded and returned to studying his shoes. 

Narcissa returned a few minutes later with a small stack of books. She handed them to Sirius, saying something in French as she did so. For a brief moment, a look of surprise flashed across his face, but he hid it and nodded. “Well I believe dinner is on the table,” Narcissa said. “Sirius, leave that glass in here. The elf will get it.”

 

After several hours of stiff, forced conversation, Remus and Sirius were finally released and returned home, Sirius with five books in his arms. As soon as they stepped out of the fireplace, Sirius made a beeline for the office, calling over his shoulder for Remus to follow him. 

“What’s going on?” Remus asked as Sirius flipped open the first of the books. 

“Damn French,” Sirius muttered. “I haven’t spoken this since I was sixteen.” He pulled the sleeve off the first book to reveal a handwritten note written on the inside in French. “Narcissa had better have something good to say.” Remus helped him assemble the other book jackets, each of which had part of a message written in them, while Sirius started writing down a translation:

_ Sirius, _

_ I didn’t know who to inform. Lucius’ mark is getting black. He is very worried. There are other indications. He is getting more strong. We think He is coming back. We do not know who is helping him. Not anybody Lucius knows. Peter? Lucius is afraid. The Dark Lord will not be happy. It will not be safe. I worry about Draco. Please help. _

_ Narcissa _

Sirius stared at the finished note, not blinking. “He’s coming back,” Sirius said quietly.

“We thought as much,” Remus sighed. “But if it’s affecting the dark mark… Sirius, we have to be prepared for life with Voldemort again.”

Sirius let out a deep sigh and sank into the leather armchair. “I know,” he admitted. “Let’s just… if we could just find Peter, we could stop this.”

“If anybody can it’s you,” Remus said with a weak smile. 

“Well if I have to go to every pet store in Europe…” Sirius joked. “I’ll find that damn rat, and I’ll kill him.”


End file.
